Question

[christianofhobart]

Do any of you have friends in your life, who want to be close to you. However you are reluctant to be close to them for reasons such as sharing little in common with them.

In my experience being an extremely friendly and nice guy. I have made a number of friends who befriended me, rather than myself befriending them. The upside I guess of that is they have actually the time to spend with you, with my very few friends I actually share more in common they don't have much time for me. However the downside is that I am reluctant to be as close to them emotionally as they are to me.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Not everyone you run across you will want to be friends with and not everyone you try to befriend will want to be friends with you. That's just life.

 

[AndrewM]

I have one friend who makes an effort to keep in regular contact with me. We don't have all that much in common, and sometimes I find talking to him a bit of a chore. Nevertheless, I do appreciate the fact that he makes time for me and so I will always make time for him. Even if one day I have lots of friends with whom I have more in common, I won't forget the fact that he made the effort to keep our friendship going. You can't have too many friends like that.

On the question of emotional closeness - I'm not sure that's something you can really force. Over time you may find that you get closer, but that's something which comes naturally. Having things in common will help, but in the end it comes down to how comfortable you feel with them and how much you trust them.

 

[edgecrusher]

i know what you mean. my one friend that i have the most in common with is gone, he joined the army. i dont really have anyone left here that i have that much in common with. i have hardly had that many people here that i have that much in common with. i dont really initiate making friends, or really initiate making conversation with people. i dont really do it on purpose unless i dont like the person. i just think that with the way high school went for me and that every best friend i ever had has left me for whatever reason, i think that i kind of have a thing where i dont let people get clsoe to me and thats why i dont initiate anything with people.

 

[All In The Mind]

I don't really have a problem with my friends when it comes to having similar interests and things in common.

I'm very much an open person and will take in everyone's values different to mine, but at the same time i will let them know what i think....especially after a few pints

 

[Badjedidude]

Yeah...that happens fairly commonly with me. I definitely know a few people who would like to get closer to me....and I try to be congenial with them and treat them politely, but honestly, I just don't find them that interesting.

You're not a bad person for feeling like that, so don't worry. Not EVERYONE is going to interest you. So it's fine if you don't want to be friends with them.

 

[mintymint]

but honestly, I just don't find them that interesting.

*runs away, flapping arms and crying*

 

[Badjedidude]

*runs away, flapping arms and crying*

Mintmouthwash, man-crush aside, you're at LEAST interesting enough to warrant further investigation.

 

[Mike Moose]

I have one friend who I could never guess why he kept on coming 'round..turns out he was abused badly as a kid and he felt that I was the only person he could express himself to..I always wondered why he had so much anger..I don't see him often but when I do he's always pleased to see me..