Questions for the Men

[MTrip]

OK, so I'm not a man but, sometimes I would like to know what you guys think Soooo here is the thread to do it in.

Here is your first question. When a man asks you what you are doing this weekend, what does that mean? And why do they do that with no intentions of asking a girl out? lol!!! It's like:

Guy: What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Oh nuttin.
Guy: Well, have fun.
Girl: **thinks to herself** what the hell was that? He asks me what I am doing and then doesn't ask me out**giggles**

I prefer to suggest something, like meeting for coffee somewhere, instead of just asking what she's doing. This is after some conversation of course. Not that I normally succeed at it or anything.

 

[MasterStyles]

Good one Lonesome Crow

 

[Peaches]

when a guy wants to chat with you all the time, but doesn't want to see you and when you meet socially barely speaks to you, why is that? I have an idea, but maybe you know better

 

[Cavey]

Who knows? Everyone is different.

Perhaps he's really shy and can communicate better when you're not face to face. I know I find it far easier to communicate through the Internet than I ever do when someone is right there with me.

Perhaps he's better one on one and can't focus when he's put in social situations.

There's many more, but if it were me, then those would be the reasons...

 

[sueRare]

when a guy wants to chat with you all the time, but doesn't want to see you and when you meet socially barely speaks to you, why is that? I have an idea, but maybe you know better

Peaches, I'm interested to know what the guys think about this too.

user 130057 brought up some good reasons, but sometimes it feels like the guy is trying to avoid being seen talking to you. Because not only does the guy barely speaks, but actually makes the effort of avoiding any face to face conversation. Makes me really wonder...

 

[Peaches]

yes, my impression was similar, when he has nothing better to do he wants to talk but won't engage enough to do something together (especially as I asked and he ignored it), and gives priority to other friends

 

[Cavey]

when a guy wants to chat with you all the time, but doesn't want to see you and when you meet socially barely speaks to you, why is that? I have an idea, but maybe you know better

Peaches, I'm interested to know what the guys think about this too.

user 130057 brought up some good reasons, but sometimes it feels like the guy is trying to avoid being seen talking to you. Because not only does the guy barely speaks, but actually makes the effort of avoiding any face to face conversation. Makes me really wonder...

Well, there's that as well, but I always prefer to look on the brighter side.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Like user 130057 said, who knows everyone is different. Could be he's shy, could be a one on one thing, could be something as cruel as that he doesn't want people to see him in public with you. We could give all kinds of reasons but you just won't really know unless you ask him. Only he can answer that question.

 

[ardour]

when a guy wants to chat with you all the time, but doesn't want to see you and when you meet socially barely speaks to you, why is that? I have an idea, but maybe you know better

Why "ask men"? Both men and women seem to do this.

 

[sueRare]

Like user 130057 said, who knows everyone is different. Could be he's shy, could be a one on one thing, could be something as cruel as that he doesn't want people to see him in public with you. We could give all kinds of reasons but you just won't really know unless you ask him. Only he can answer that question.

I did ask this particular guy and his answer just confused me more. He said that he wants to be friends and he's only trying to protect me because his other friends always assume that something more is happening? Huh?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Oh yeah that is typical of some guys, they see you talking to a girl or hanging out with her and they think something is going on. God forbid we just be friends with women. Some guys keep their brains in their pants. Mine is under my pillow...or I left it at work...it's somewhere just not in my pants right now.

 

[sueRare]

Oh yeah that is typical of some guys, they see you talking to a girl or hanging out with her and they think something is going on. God forbid we just be friends with women. Some guys keep their brains in their pants. Mine is under my pillow...or I left it at work...it's somewhere just not in my pants right now.

God forbid indeed! Whatever happened to just enjoying a good conversation with the opposite sex? Do guys really think there is always something going on when they see a man and a woman, say having a drink or two?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Depends on the age, mentality and maturity. Younger guys are worse for that. I have many female friends and the few male friends I had always thought I had something going on with them. Uh no, just friends.

 

[jzinsky]

I think it might come from the reptile brain. If you like the look of a female you're going to approach her, but if she's with another man then you might well have to fight him off before you can even start. Maybe it's hardwired into our brains to persume that situation first?

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I'll never forget when my husband and I first moved into together, we went shopping one day. He was off looking at guy stuff and a male cousin of mine (distant) that he didn't know came up and we started chatting. My husband came up, looking quite fearsome and puffed up-glowering at this poor kid in this threatening way. His eyes got huge because my husband is 6'2" and muscular and he quickly said "I'll talk to you later!" and nearly jogged away. I whipped around and said "You just ran off my poor cousin idiot!" He visibly relaxed like oh, ok good. What he said was "What? I didn't say anything." smirked at me and I shook my head and we went about our shopping. Why can't anything ever be innocent to you guys? Like we can't handle someone coming on to us ourselves if we need to? That's my question which ties into the last response.

 

[jzinsky]

It's true, I'm not the jealous kind and wouldn't persume anything and suchlike. But like I said, lizard brain. Your first thought is the one that's been brought through from evolution and I imagine your husband immediately saw some guy coming on to his wife. He might not have even conciously thought that!

As for handling it yourself I'm sure you can, but I'd have great difficulty standing there and watching it

 

[aspalas]

I'd get kind of jealous too. I don't know why, but (many) girls tend to be flirty with guys even tho they have a husband/boyfriend/relationship. I think it's pretty weird. I'm not saying it's good to act like this, I wouldn't scare anyone away unless he's really trying to make a move or harassing the girl, but I'd definitely feel "attacked" in some way.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'll never forget when my husband and I first moved into together, we went shopping one day. He was off looking at guy stuff and a male cousin of mine (distant) that he didn't know came up and we started chatting. My husband came up, looking quite fearsome and puffed up-glowering at this poor kid in this threatening way. His eyes got huge because my husband is 6'2" and muscular and he quickly said "I'll talk to you later!" and nearly jogged away. I whipped around and said "You just ran off my poor cousin idiot!" He visibly relaxed like oh, ok good. What he said was "What? I didn't say anything." smirked at me and I shook my head and we went about our shopping. Why can't anything ever be innocent to you guys? Like we can't handle someone coming on to us ourselves if we need to? That's my question which ties into the last response.

I might actually find that kinda sweet... hehe.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

I'll never forget when my husband and I first moved into together, we went shopping one day. He was off looking at guy stuff and a male cousin of mine (distant) that he didn't know came up and we started chatting. My husband came up, looking quite fearsome and puffed up-glowering at this poor kid in this threatening way. His eyes got huge because my husband is 6'2" and muscular and he quickly said "I'll talk to you later!" and nearly jogged away. I whipped around and said "You just ran off my poor cousin idiot!" He visibly relaxed like oh, ok good. What he said was "What? I didn't say anything." smirked at me and I shook my head and we went about our shopping. Why can't anything ever be innocent to you guys? Like we can't handle someone coming on to us ourselves if we need to? That's my question which ties into the last response.

It's definitely not just a guy thing ladies can be quite territorial too!

Like most things it's about balance really, you give a little space to each other and in turn you don't take the piss and keep in mind your other half if you get chatting to someone for too long. Confidence in each other is best though.

 

[maybellina]

Man help required please
So, cutting it short. Meet a guy, online, in my late 30`s may I add, so experienced in life, however, am stuck.
We click, been here before, know when I am being played ······ I THINK.
All lovely, steady build up to a date invite, from him. Lots of talking on the phone and deep discussions, serious, fun, normal.
His phone breaks, I instinctively knew from the way we ad talked and when that this was an issue, no panic. Unlike me to be cool.
This is a Wednesday, knowing he works nights, I expect a weekend call.
I get a call from a woman, pregnant girlfriend !!!!!!! Story did not fit, as I had proof they split for good in July. This is September.
10 days later he calls in bits. He also finds out of said baby at the same time as me. Shocked and upset he was too messed up to call and was embarrassed. Both as older singles with no kids we were excited to meet in the same lifestyle.
Meantime before he called I had found him on FB to send my number again as the sim was taken by manipulative ex.... long story... but my gut had told me exactly what he told me without prompting a story and I felt secure. We both cried with sadness that this had burst our bubble.
We decide to continue and meet to see if we felt as strongly in real time, as we could not forget and give up on what we both felt we had potentially found in one another, both excited to meet when work commitments allowed. Discussions were had as friends before meeting that he would have to ride out the baby story and deal with it day by day until paternity tests etc could be taken and routes to acces arranged.
Blah blah.... we arrange a date. He stands me up.. then after my ? He sends a message to say that he was stupid and scared to get close to me .... she is pregnant after all.... i am a wonderful girl and he is so so sorry but oh so scared. He is facing the hardest time. .. which I totally understand and he knows so... a message of regret and sorries and
I did not deserve it...
Then... he blocks my number and my profile and has gone underground..
My hurting question after everything and being secure in my gut that he is NOT a player, just hit with a big life change.. will
I hear from him again ?
I miss him dreadfully and have a constant anxious tummy. I am in two minds to wise up and get on with my life and another of is he just hiding?