Questions for the Men

[Triple Bogey]

I often see people flirt and stuff so easily .. they break up .. guy gets new girlfriend in a week, month, or an other short period of time. I'm life 'HOW DOES HE DO THAT?'


Complicated stuff

women find him attractive, that's why it's easy for him.

 

[Sci-Fi]

 

[mrfranky17]

Well it all depends on the mood of the moment or what led to him asking you "what are you doing this weekend". Sometimes its all a convo starter. Kind of like, "so the weathers nice". We at first dont have intention in proceeding the topic, because...well...we just dont know what to expect.lol. so throw us a curve ball. if you ever get that question again...if you like the guy....tell him something he wont expect.

Guy:He what are you doing this weekend?
Girl: having an adventure with you
Guy: heh?
*****Proceed to fun plans*****

 

[Triple Bogey]

quick chat up lines are hard to come with at the right time. Easy when you think about it before hand.

 

[the_ice_man]

Guy: What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Oh nuttin.
Guy: Well, have fun.
Girl: **thinks to herself** what the hell was that? He asks me what I am doing and then doesn't ask me out**giggles**
[/quote]

This type of conversation just doesn't happen out of the blue.
Where is this taking place? At work? Are they already friends?
A flow chart needs to be drawn up first! lol

 

[ardour]

um... do you find yourself getting a boner while just talking to a woman you happen to be attracted to?

I'm not trying to be funny, it's a problem at times. In the rare instances where they actually seem interested in conversation and stand close to me, well sometimes the blood will start rushing to the wrong organ. Then I lose my train of thought and have to come up with some excuse to be elsewhere.

If I ever were to be in a relationship I think this would happen at the slightest contact; could't hold hands, or hug without this embarrassment. I'm not a creep, not a pervert, it just seems like my body is 'calibrated' incorrectly.

 

[Regumika]

um... do you find yourself getting a boner while just talking to a woman you happen to be attracted to?

I'm not trying to be funny, it's a problem at times. In the rare instances where they actually seem interested in conversation and stand close to me, well sometimes the blood will start rushing to the wrong organ. Then I lose my train of thought and have to come up with some excuse to be elsewhere.

If I ever were to be in a relationship I think this would happen at the slightest contact; could't hold hands, or hug without this embarrassment. I'm not a creep, not a pervert, it just seems like my body is 'calibrated' incorrectly.

Personal opinion is that there is nothing wrong with this. I'll give an example. Some stranger pulls a prank on you: you get scared (surprised) for such unexpected action.

That reaction is normal. What's not normal is you calling the cops on them. Okay, so some pranks can be over the top but that's not all that common is it?

See (and starts talking to) an attractive woman and get excited? Normal. What's not normal is letting that excitement take over. Just like letting that surprise (maybe rage) take over you and call the cops.

Reacting to situations are normal, it is how you handle those reactions that makes a difference. Just keep talking to the her. Sure you will be anxious/nervous but what else can you do? You might even want to let her know. (This is your part of the initiative. Maybe talking to you was her initiative).

 

[ardour]

wish I hasn't posted that

 

[Frostburn]

um... do you find yourself getting a boner while just talking to a woman you happen to be attracted to?

I'm not trying to be funny, it's a problem at times. In the rare instances where they actually seem interested in conversation and stand close to me, well sometimes the blood will start rushing to the wrong organ. Then I lose my train of thought and have to come up with some excuse to be elsewhere.

If I ever were to be in a relationship I think this would happen at the slightest contact; could't hold hands, or hug without this embarrassment. I'm not a creep, not a pervert, it just seems like my body is 'calibrated' incorrectly.

It is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. You are not calibrated incorrectly. Don't overthink it, but don't try to supress it. It is just natural part of your sexuality to be attracted to certain people and that is how your body reacts to those feelings of attraction.

 

[Rainbows]

ez

 

[kamya]

Not once in this story do you mention telling him your feelings. Start with that?

 

[Rainbows]

Not once in this story do you mention telling him your feelings. Start with that?

I did, actually. In those text messages. Maybe I should add that.
(I forgot to add it because for me it was automatically implied, I completely forgot.)

 

[ladyforsaken]

Rainbows dear, I don't know what wise things I can say as I don't have that much experience in guys. But perhaps it is one of those things we discussed earlier, I'm leaning more towards the fact that he might be interested in some way (maybe he is curious about social interaction, closeness and human contact and liking it that he can do these things so easily with you because you do it to him too) but at the same time he might not know exactly what he wants and he may not have mutual feelings for you.

Otherwise, I can't figure out why he's pulling back. Could be that he has some issues or insecurities, or perhaps just doesn't know how to react to a situation like this or to feelings that are developing? It's really hard to say because I don't know this guy, and I don't get to see his real body language.

Either way, I hate to say this but I think you know that there is a quite a likely possibility that you might end up pretty hurt because of how you have feelings for him and them not being reciprocated. I can't see how he could change his mind and be all for it.... or I could just be pessimistic about this whole situation right now.

Anyway, I forgot, this is a question for the men :s
I'm not a man but hey, you've got my support and I just hope that things get easier. I know it sucks to be dealing with matters of the heart and emotions... and I can totally relate with something like this so I just thought I'd chime in a little something, hope it's okay.

Good luck though, I hope you can find some peace despite dealing with all this.

 

[Rainbows]

♥ lady

 

[kamya]

Welcome to...

 

[Coolio]

Ok so this topic might have been covered in previous posts but I don't want to scroll through all 97 pages.

Can you list (maybe top 5?) a girl does that you think means she's showing interest in you? For either situation when you meet a stranger say at a library or cafe and see her in line or seated across the room and haven't actually spoken. And also if by chance your already spending time with her at work, volunteer spot, ending up meeting/hanging at a common friends house party etc

Do men really look at body language? As a shy person I wouldn't usually talk to anyone first, let alone just say "I like you and I want your phone number" .. Any tips?

 

[WishingWell]

I like when someone looks straight in my mind and smiles and nods his head so that I know he is interested that you are there.

 

[looking glass]

Ok so this topic might have been covered in previous posts but I don't want to scroll through all 97 pages.

Can you list (maybe top 5?) a girl does that you think means she's showing interest in you? For either situation when you meet a stranger say at a library or cafe and see her in line or seated across the room and haven't actually spoken. And also if by chance your already spending time with her at work, volunteer spot, ending up meeting/hanging at a common friends house party etc

Do men really look at body language? As a shy person I wouldn't usually talk to anyone first, let alone just say "I like you and I want your phone number" .. Any tips?

This is just my personal experience but beware that I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend - so either no girl ever showed interest in me or I am utterly rubbish at seeing the signs. So just as a disclaimer.

I don't think I could list 5 signs. Personally I'd only notice that a girl likes me when she'd talk to me and actually asked me for my number or ask to meet again.
This is also reinforced by the fact that whenever a girl and I really hit it off and I asked her out she was weirded out by that.

So yeah, the only sign would be if she straight out asked me or told me.
It also depends on the character of the person. No one can look into your mind and some guys will will be me more straightforward than other but ultimately it's a gamble and shy guys would be more reserved for fear of rejection.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Just showing polite interest I guess....depends on the context....if for example he was in the process of removing his hand from the depths of your panties it may well be a social invitation ..

 

[Darrell_Licht]

Men look at body language as much as any animal on this planet. They won't always understand what is going on. Most guys I know rather not weigh much consideration to body language. If you're a man who get's what he wants anyway.

For someone who is a shy person, when they are averting their eyes often stammering or the tone in their voice is tense and it obviously looks as if they are trying to stave that. It can also mean that you intimidate or make them feel uneasy in some way and they don't have the heart to be derisive.

For any other person, when they talk with you and seem interested in what you have to say. Or when they sort of put on a persona that is to test how you deal with things. I find this to be the case all the time.

To me it all boils down to not frowning and acting as if you have a negative preconceived notion about something. I can't really list five particular things, people act differently in situations..

There is an awful lot of truth to 'catching more bee's with honey'. It takes a lot of strength to be kind and neutral to those who might be dredging negative emotions from you. Make no mistake, being 'nice' is not being a pushover. it's knowing how to diffuse a situation without escalating anything. Not something a pushover can do.
I watched certain people negotiate out of situations I surely would have resorted with an axe.. That's a pretty attractive attribute to have. physicality aside which I confess it does play a considerable factor. Which is something you have little control over except for how you choose to be affected.