Questions for the Women

[WishingWell]

I am going to answer Okiedokes' and xrchz's questions.

Okiedokes, I am single right now, and I am fine with being friends with a guy that doesn't want a relationship with me. However, if I were in a relationship, it would depend on how my b/f felt about me making a NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH A MAN. I would probably avoid it. But, at the start of a relationship, I would tell my b/f that I already had male friends for a long time and wasn't going to end the friendship(s). I would leave it up to him to decide if he could deal with it. I wouldn't ditch my friends, but I probably wouldn't hang out with them, though--just talk on the phone and maybe email them, unless my b/f came along if I went out with one or more of them. On the other side of it, lthough, if a man is in a relationship, and wanted to be friends with me, I would avoid it. I tried being friends with 2 men that had g/f's and, after a short time, both of them wanted to be more than my friend--both seemed to wanted me to be their "friend with benefits." So that was the end of that! (and women do that too, I know!)

xrchz, the question you ask is a tricky one. I would like it very much if I was interested in a man, and he came on to me after only a short time. But, if I wasn't sure if I was interested in being more than his friend, I would be honest and tell him it was too soon for me to know if I wanted to take the friendship to another level. If I knew I only wanted to be friends, it would make me feel uncomfortable, but I would still be honest and tell him that I didn't feel that way about him and say that maybe it wouldn't be fair to him to pursue any relationship at all with me.

 

[Callie]

Ok.. I'm a woman asking women a question. Would you ok with just being friends with a guy who doesn't want a relationship or that is in one already? Or would that be a waste or not of your interest?

Are you talking just wanting to be friends with them because you like them platonically or when you like them but they don't want a relationship with you?
Well, either way, I would be okay with it. I mean, I like them for a reason, so if I can only have them as a friend, it would be good enough. I'd most likely eventually get over not being able to have a relationship with them.
As far as platonically, I have always been more comfortable with guys as friends than girls.

A question for the women: Do you like it when a guy comes onto you, or says directly that he's interested in you, when you haven't known each other for very long, or is that a turn off? How much does it depend on the guy? (For comparison, as a guy, if a girl did that to me I'd be thrilled, and it doesn't depend much who.)

Hmm, well, if you like someone, they can't know unless you tell them. And someone has to make the first move, so whether or not they are into you or not doesn't negate the fact that it's nice when someone "wants" you. Makes you feel like you might have something going for you that would make someone interested in you in the first place. So yeah, I like it.

 

[meekthoughts]

A question for the women: Do you like it when a guy comes onto you, or says directly that he's interested in you, when you haven't known each other for very long, or is that a turn off? How much does it depend on the guy? (For comparison, as a guy, if a girl did that to me I'd be thrilled, and it doesn't depend much who.)

I would be flattered if a guy came onto me, but at the same time I'd probably be wracking my brain wondering why any guy would be interested in me and probably scare him off in the process. But yes, in simple words, I'd like it.

 

[Okiedokes]

Yes platonically to answer that question up there. And yeah, honestly I can't say which I'm more comfortable around, cause
that depends on the individual but it seems hard to talk to girls sometimes. Maybe it's just me and thinking of how I could be judged a little easier. I don't know.. I'm not super girly girl either. Woohoo another question I want to ask. lol.

---

So...... do you prefer same or opposite sex friendships? And plz explain why.

 

[Limlim]

off topic but... omg cat avatar is super cute!

 

[meekthoughts]

So...... do you prefer same or opposite sex friendships? And plz explain why.

I don't exactly prefer one to the other, it really depends on the person itself. My closest friend before was female. However, in general, I find myself relating more to guys (opposite sex) than girls. Even so, I have trouble making friends with guys (especially in real life) because I'm always nervous and very conscious about myself around them.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Rather simple question for the ladies!

How much does lower stomach flabbiness put you off a guy physically, considering the rest of him?

I've been dropping weight for a long time now and I'm hoping to continue. I'm sort of an unusual combo of slim athletic build and slightly overweight right now.

Really happy with my arms (I'm not The Hulk or some kind of bodybuilding nutter, but I'm visibly stronger than most guys I know, particularly the lanky sorts), I have decent ab lines (snaking around my ribs and down the "middle" of my stomach) and my legs are quite muscular too.

My chest and shoulders are quite broad and don't have much fat on them.

Then I look at my lower stomach and...urgh. It's like the flabbiness there is slowly melting off, but I still have an overhanging bit left.

It's sort of incongruous with the rest of my body, like it was glued on in unpleasant fashion! Would that be a huge turn-off for women?

Because I have to say, it does dent my self confidence quite a bit actually.

 

[annik]

Solitary...Personally I'd say no. I don't really have a type weight wise when it comes to men. Though I was in bed this morning thinking how unattractive 6 packs are...:shy:

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Solitary...Personally I'd say no. I don't really have a type weight wise when it comes to men. Though I was in bed this morning thinking how unattractive 6 packs are...:shy:

Wow, really? I'll have to stop working out

I can sort of understand though. I think too many muscles on a guy (or girl!) looks kind of grotesque. I just want to be slim, strong, but not crazy muscly.

I feel a tiny bit better now, thank you

 

[WishingWell]

As most of you know, I am 54 years old. Although NEVER in my life did I think a guy had to be perfectly built. We all have our flaws. There is A LOT to say about personality, charisma, etc. in a man. It wouldn't bother me when I was young and it doesn't bother me now if a guy has extra stomach weight or is REASONABLY overweight. I am not into men that are "fat." Up until the age of 46, I was in good enough shape to wear tight jeans and shirts like the ones young women wear that have spaghetti straps and a built in bra--kind of what a cami looks like--stretchy. The only criticism I got was that my Sister felt I was in my 40's dressing like I was in my 20's. Since then I put on weight, but I have gotten down to a size that I am comfortable with now. At 54, I really can't expect a man to have a perfect body! It's even easier to look past the body of someone my age!

 

[annik]

Solitary...Personally I'd say no. I don't really have a type weight wise when it comes to men. Though I was in bed this morning thinking how unattractive 6 packs are...:shy:

Wow, really? I'll have to stop working out

I can sort of understand though. I think too many muscles on a guy (or girl!) looks kind of grotesque. I just want to be slim, strong, but not crazy muscly.

I feel a tiny bit better now, thank you

I completely agree. Slim is good and strong (as is not slim in my opinion!) But too buff and muscly is a bit horrid. I used to watch worlds strongest man when I was younger! Its impressive and stuff but I wouldn't have wanted to date them.

I'd say when it becomes unattractive is when someone has no energy or is really unhealthy just not having a super flat stomach is nothing to worry about.

 

[ShybutHi]

I completely agree. Slim is good and strong (as is not slim in my opinion!) But too buff and muscly is a bit horrid. I used to watch worlds strongest man when I was younger! Its impressive and stuff but I wouldn't have wanted to date them.

I'd say when it becomes unattractive is when someone has no energy or is really unhealthy just not having a super flat stomach is nothing to worry about.

It makes me feel a bit better that someone out there thinks this.
I am quite a slim guy and I have really long legs which makes me look even slimmer than some other slim guys. Atleast I am athletic though and not frail I guess.

 

[Okiedokes]

I don't wanna play with a real Ken barbie doll....... some muscle is nice though.

 

[Ak5]

I'm in a similar situation. Very anxious if girls would like me at the school I'll be going to lol.

Good to hear! I have muscle, not really big and muscular though, so that's good! XD

 

[Chasm]

I don't wanna play with a real Ken barbie doll....... some muscle is nice though.

wish i had plastic hair
would b cool n such a convo starter

 

[Okiedokes]

I don't wanna play with a real Ken barbie doll....... some muscle is nice though.

wish i had plastic hair
would b cool n such a convo starter

haha might be kinda nice... no fly away hairs.

 

[Chasm]

I don't wanna play with a real Ken barbie doll....... some muscle is nice though.

wish i had plastic hair
would b cool n such a convo starter

haha might be kinda nice... no fly away hairs.

tru!
n i could swipe my head 2 pay @ check out
being its plastic n all

 

[Okiedokes]

I don't wanna play with a real Ken barbie doll....... some muscle is nice though.

wish i had plastic hair
would b cool n such a convo starter

haha might be kinda nice... no fly away hairs.

tru!
n i could swipe my head 2 pay @ check out
being its plastic n all

LOLLLLL!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Do girls like unusual/playful ideas when it comes to intimate stuff? I don't neccessarily mean rude things, just cuddling, spending time together, things like that?

I'm kind of a romantic I think (a bad trait when you never ask girls out!) and I've spent ages mulling over all kinds of fancy things I could do.

I'm trying to build up a little knowledge so that I can be confident that I'll be a decent boyfriend one day! I figured I'd ask here.

So how do these things sound? Any suggestions for what you'd really like yourself?

- Cooking her a nice breakfast/dinner at random.

- Giving her an intense back/neck/foot massage.

- Showing her a fancy card trick that leads into a really passionate snog (and other magic-related flirting!)

- Chocolates, flowers (okay, more mundane...but... )

- Baking her a cake

- Juggling for her amusement

- Playing something on the guitar (I can only play like 2 songs, but whatever)

Are they okay ideas? Or slightly ridiculous/dull?

 

[meekthoughts]

Solitary, those things sound awesome!! They aren't ridiculous or dull at all. What you do for the person you love probably differs from lady to lady, but I think what you've listed should tug a string in any woman's heart.

You want ridiculous? Personally, I'd really love it if my (non-existent) boyfriend would party up with me in an MMO, and randomly during some quest with other players around he'd say something along the lines of "[Insert username here] is my girlfriend, and I love her!" followed by a heart emote if applicable in the game. Don't use that idea, it won't get you anywhere.