Fvantom
Well-known member
Am I not interesting? lately Ive been trying to make the effort to get out and talk to people, to try and make some new friends, but it never gets anywhere....even my friend who meets the same people as me at the same time gets way farther with them, and they just seem to not want to talk to me much....its really getting me down, Im losing a lot of confidence and hope....
Ive already lost my ability to enjoy life, I figure whats the point of living if you havent got any close friends to share it with, even playing music, which is my passion has become empty, I want to get out there and live but there doesnt seem to be anything that can make me happy, except for having friends.
Ive gotten to the point where even little things can send me spiraling into a brutal depression, often lasting all night and well into the next day, its usually going on facebook and hearing about love/close friendship that does it, its this crushing pain in my stomach that wont go away no matter what I do.
The way I see it theres only two viewpoints, at least the two that I can think of...one, most the people around me are just a bunch of ******** and the "friends" they have arent real, and two, majority of the people that get me down are great people with real friends and theres something wrong with me, I try to think its the former but I cant help to keep thinking Im the problem.
I was brought up to hate myself, my parents put me down at every little mistake I made, I was bullied brutally for years, my whole childhood I truly believed I was sub-human, below everyone else, as a kid nobody ever took me seriously, that sucked all the fun and liveliness out of me, whenever I try to be myself, Id either be bullied by classmates or put down by my parents.
Ive been trying so hard to fight these thoughts and feelings, but I never get much positive support, I just dont know what to think anymore, about myself, about anything....
Ive already lost my ability to enjoy life, I figure whats the point of living if you havent got any close friends to share it with, even playing music, which is my passion has become empty, I want to get out there and live but there doesnt seem to be anything that can make me happy, except for having friends.
Ive gotten to the point where even little things can send me spiraling into a brutal depression, often lasting all night and well into the next day, its usually going on facebook and hearing about love/close friendship that does it, its this crushing pain in my stomach that wont go away no matter what I do.
The way I see it theres only two viewpoints, at least the two that I can think of...one, most the people around me are just a bunch of ******** and the "friends" they have arent real, and two, majority of the people that get me down are great people with real friends and theres something wrong with me, I try to think its the former but I cant help to keep thinking Im the problem.
I was brought up to hate myself, my parents put me down at every little mistake I made, I was bullied brutally for years, my whole childhood I truly believed I was sub-human, below everyone else, as a kid nobody ever took me seriously, that sucked all the fun and liveliness out of me, whenever I try to be myself, Id either be bullied by classmates or put down by my parents.
Ive been trying so hard to fight these thoughts and feelings, but I never get much positive support, I just dont know what to think anymore, about myself, about anything....