Rant- Tired of men at this point

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CenotaphGirl

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I think I am having the beginning of a psychological snap 🙃

My fella knows im struggling with about 3 stalker situations at the moment which is extremely triggering for me as a “survivor” of male violence.

Honestly, I’m officially tired of men as of 7am this morning, as always I woke up talking to my partner about topics on the relationship articles. Today was bread-crumbing… I dont agree with the whole concept around it and he makes this tone deaf comment like “because you do it” 👀 whoooooo told him to say that… who? I just packed up his stuff and threw it by the front door. He is saying im over reacting but im tired of giving my all to someone who thinks im toxic when it suits him… he can get out. Im fucking tired. Will he leave like an adult man? Oh nooo he’s sitting in my living room trying to talk to me… I need space right now not another baby boy begging for my attention…

What is it with men and me? Jesus christ just leave me alone when I ask to be left alone… they never have to ask me twice… even once… im bloody fed up.

He wont leave, if im so toxic then why wont he? If im such a evil woman why wont he fuck off back to his ugly whores and leave me alone? Im over it, over wishing he will be 100% of the man I want him to be when he keeps getting stuck at 85%… just go then. He knows me, knew me since I was 16, he knows everything about me, I dont emotionally abuse anyone and to say that so casually is emotional abuse in my opinion. So just fucking leave me then.

I feel like he has been dangling marriage, children, a powerful financial structure in my face this whole time, bloody hypnotising me… Just to say I emotionally abuse men ? So why do you want kids with me? Why are you still fucking here… Just go. Please, leave me alone. I dont need another “man” obsessed with my “toxicity” 😒
 

TheRealCallie

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Okay, don't shoot the messenger and maybe it means something else over the pond, but you've kind of admitted you do it. You said yourself that you flirt...a lot. You are overreacting, in my opinion. Did he get angry or was he being an asshole about it? It sounds like it was just a statement. It all goes back to perspective. Just because you see something one way, doesn't mean everyone else will.


over wishing he will be 100% of the man I want him to be when he keeps getting stuck at 85%
Yeah, this statement means the relationship is never going to work out. You are trying to change him into what you want him to be. You expect him to accept him as you are, even with your flirting (even if it's "innocent" flirting, it doesn't change anything), but you can't accept him as he is.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Okay, don't shoot the messenger and maybe it means something else over the pond, but you've kind of admitted you do it. You said yourself that you flirt...a lot. You are overreacting, in my opinion. Did he get angry or was he being an asshole about it? It sounds like it was just a statement. It all goes back to perspective. Just because you see something one way, doesn't mean everyone else will.



Yeah, this statement means the relationship is never going to work out. You are trying to change him into what you want him to be. You expect him to accept him as you are, even with your flirting (even if it's "innocent" flirting, it doesn't change anything), but you can't accept him as he is.
I'm so over it Callie, fed up with him and his crap. I just want peace in my life not fairytales. I have been through so much, sacrificed so much for him and he thinks he can speak to me any way... no. I dont know, maybe I allowed myself to forget who I am or something. Maybe I need to wake up the rest of my brain. I have been loyal to him, he could never say otherwise, I'd give anything for him, I changed my mind about things I've been reasonable, I took rights to his daughter, I stopped speaking to who ever he didn't want me speaking with, I dont wear whatever he says not to. I do for him, he be littles me, accuses me of being some sort of abuser, he can kindly fuck off.
 
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I think I am having the beginning of a psychological snap 🙃

My fella knows im struggling with about 3 stalker situations at the moment which is extremely triggering for me as a “survivor” of male violence.

Honestly, I’m officially tired of men as of 7am this morning, as always I woke up talking to my partner about topics on the relationship articles. Today was bread-crumbing… I dont agree with the whole concept around it and he makes this tone deaf comment like “because you do it” 👀 whoooooo told him to say that… who? I just packed up his stuff and threw it by the front door. He is saying im over reacting but im tired of giving my all to someone who thinks im toxic when it suits him… he can get out. Im fucking tired. Will he leave like an adult man? Oh nooo he’s sitting in my living room trying to talk to me… I need space right now not another baby boy begging for my attention…

What is it with men and me? Jesus christ just leave me alone when I ask to be left alone… they never have to ask me twice… even once… im bloody fed up.

He wont leave, if im so toxic then why wont he? If im such a evil woman why wont he fuck off back to his ugly whores and leave me alone? Im over it, over wishing he will be 100% of the man I want him to be when he keeps getting stuck at 85%… just go then. He knows me, knew me since I was 16, he knows everything about me, I dont emotionally abuse anyone and to say that so casually is emotional abuse in my opinion. So just fucking leave me then.

I feel like he has been dangling marriage, children, a powerful financial structure in my face this whole time, bloody hypnotising me… Just to say I emotionally abuse men ? So why do you want kids with me? Why are you still fucking here… Just go. Please, leave me alone. I dont need another “man” obsessed with my “toxicity” 😒
It's good that you stand up for yourself. You shouldn't let anybody especially your significant other talk to you in a way you do not like. So, good job! You may have over reacted. But, I wasn't there so I don't know. Your significant other should help make you feel good not bad. That needs to stop. That is not acceptable.

IMO, it would be helpful for the two of you to talk about each other's feelings. I know you don't like men talking about their feelings as it makes them come across weak. BUT, his comments might be the surface of some other problems. It's best to find out how he thinks and feels before you marry him. Also you might find out simple things each of you can do differently to make the other person not feel bad or even feel better.

Also, not saying in your case, but some men especially after a failed marriage are very hessitent to get into another one. So, they string the woman along with future promises that probably won't come true. But, IMO, it should not be about what he can do for you. It should be more about if YOU really want to be with him and his situation. IMO, it should also be if you can see that he is evolving to become more of what you need.

But, yeah, men are assholes. I am one so I ought to know. Ha! Ha!
 

roses4all

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Hi Ceno,

I am really sorry you are going through this. You are hurting. It's clear.

I want to ask you a few questions...

1) Do you love him? What do you love about him?

2) Do you like to control things? Situations? Time ? Your environment? Conversations? We all do to some extent. Like on a scale of one to ten. And it seems to be a sliding scale. I'm curious to know where you think you are?

I am worried that you think he is dangling promises of mariage and children.

As for breadcrumbing... I believe in it. I lived with it. And I know lots of other people who lived with it too. Maybe we should have a thread about it?
 

M_also_lonely

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CenotaphGirl

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It's good that you stand up for yourself. You shouldn't let anybody especially your significant other talk to you in a way you do not like. So, good job! You may have over reacted. But, I wasn't there so I don't know. Your significant other should help make you feel good not bad. That needs to stop. That is not acceptable.

IMO, it would be helpful for the two of you to talk about each other's feelings. I know you don't like men talking about their feelings as it makes them come across weak. BUT, his comments might be the surface of some other problems. It's best to find out how he thinks and feels before you marry him. Also you might find out simple things each of you can do differently to make the other person not feel bad or even feel better.

Also, not saying in your case, but some men especially after a failed marriage are very hessitent to get into another one. So, they string the woman along with future promises that probably won't come true. But, IMO, it should not be about what he can do for you. It should be more about if YOU really want to be with him and his situation. IMO, it should also be if you can see that he is evolving to become more of what you need.

But, yeah, men are assholes. I am one so I ought to know. Ha! Ha!
Finished, at this point, im tired… idk how much I am supposed to take? He can just leave… I think some guys think I need them or something, I dont need anyone. I always put myself back together, he always feeds into the same old shit, do you know how it would feel, to be completely torn apart by a group of men of a different race barely survive, you’ve never done anything to… and people causally call you racist when it suits them? It would be maddening. Thats how I feel, I havent done a thing to men, ask any of the men that have ever hurt me, they hurt me because I did NOTHING to them… they stalk me because I DO NOT respond to them… that is it. So they can f off.

I am dealing with 1 very pathetic cyber stalker and 2 real life stalkers and if any of you weirdos suggest I have been flirting with them when all I want them to do is leave me alone I will post every single message I have ever gotten from a man on this miserable site and if I am banned so be it! None of my messages will be edited so keep playing with me… and run to a mod right now and ask them to delete it if you arent ready, im sick of this shit.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Hi Ceno,

I am really sorry you are going through this. You are hurting. It's clear.

I want to ask you a few questions...

1) Do you love him? What do you love about him?

2) Do you like to control things? Situations? Time ? Your environment? Conversations? We all do to some extent. Like on a scale of one to ten. And it seems to be a sliding scale. I'm curious to know where you think you are?

I am worried that you think he is dangling promises of mariage and children.

As for breadcrumbing... I believe in it. I lived with it. And I know lots of other people who lived with it too. Maybe we should have a thread about it?

I love him our family but I cant do it all on love, im breaking down I need him on my side of all men but just like everyone else he cut me today so I have given up… completely I cant do it.

I usually like my partner to control everything, I hate deciding things, so maybe a 3.

He is, he has been getting my finger sized he has been talking about us having a boy, now I just cant, people forget I am a real person, please dont push me, as much as people think im this joke I have real feelings I am real… I didnt deserve that
 

TheSkaFish

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I am dealing with 1 very pathetic cyber stalker and 2 real life stalkers and if any of you weirdos suggest I have been flirting with them when all I want them to do is leave me alone I will post every single message I have ever gotten from a man on this miserable site and if I am banned so be it! None of my messages will be edited so keep playing with me… and run to a mod right now and ask them to delete it if you arent ready, im sick of this shit.

Hey, haven't read all of this thread yet, but it seems like you're not feeling too good right now. But for what it's worth, I just wanted to say I'd hate to see you go, either willingly or otherwise.

If you're having trouble with someone on here, report it, if you haven't already. Forward the harassing messages to a mod. If nothing has been done, try asking again and emphasize that this has been a real problem for you, a recurring issue, not a one-time thing.

Again, I've seen you be kind on here many times, and you generally seem like a good person. I think you're one of the helpful people that make this site better. So I wouldn't want someone to ruin that for you.

Please try to hang in there.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Hey, haven't read all of this thread yet, but it seems like you're not feeling too good right now. But for what it's worth, I just wanted to say I'd hate to see you go, either willingly or otherwise.

If you're having trouble with someone on here, report it, if you haven't already. Forward the harassing messages to a mod. If nothing has been done, try asking again and emphasize that this has been a real problem for you, a recurring issue, not a one-time thing.

Again, I've seen you be kind on here many times, and you generally seem like a good person. I think you're one of the helpful people that make this site better. So I wouldn't want someone to ruin that for you.

Please try to hang in there.
Awh thanks Ska im not good right now, honestly not good at all.
 
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Finished, at this point, im tired… idk how much I am supposed to take? He can just leave… I think some guys think I need them or something, I dont need anyone. I always put myself back together, he always feeds into the same old shit, do you know how it would feel, to be completely torn apart by a group of men of a different race barely survive, you’ve never done anything to… and people causally call you racist when it suits them? It would be maddening. Thats how I feel, I havent done a thing to men, ask any of the men that have ever hurt me, they hurt me because I did NOTHING to them… they stalk me because I DO NOT respond to them… that is it. So they can f off.

I am dealing with 1 very pathetic cyber stalker and 2 real life stalkers and if any of you weirdos suggest I have been flirting with them when all I want them to do is leave me alone I will post every single message I have ever gotten from a man on this miserable site and if I am banned so be it! None of my messages will be edited so keep playing with me… and run to a mod right now and ask them to delete it if you arent ready, im sick of this shit.
I'm just making a suggestion. I don't know how it works where you are. But, would filing a harassment complaint or stalking complaint with the court there help? The two real life stalkers need to see you are serious IMO. Here the harrassment complaint gets signed off by a judge. So, if they continue to harrass you it's going against the judge's orders and they can be jailed for that. It's all about the proof though.
 

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