Religion vs Love

[xuchu5]

Hi, I'm in quite a predicament at the moment.

I think I've fallen in love with a close friend of mine. She's a muslim girl and I'm an atheist (born to Hindu parents). We've been really good friends for just over a year and I'm thinking about asking her out. We love each other's company, spend a lot time talking to each other over the phone and eating out together.

While she may not be quite religious, she loves her family, tradition and culture and I respect that. I'm afraid that if I do ask her out she'll refuse due to the differences in our beliefs. What do I do?

What I find alienating is that religion should never get in the way of love and compassion. Because love and compassion should be the point of religion. If you deviate from compassion, however you justify it, you have left God behind.

 

[Poueff]

Why would that happen? I'm an atheist as well and even though I never dated a hindu or muslim girl,I once dated a very christian girl and even though it was short and bad,it pulled off anyway

 

[evanescencefan91]

You'll never know until you ask and it won't hurt to try
Go for it man
And good luck

 

[floffyschneeman]

I can understand your predicament. I respect people's faith but being a christian from a conservative family is sometimes straining for me cos although I would love a man despite him having different beliefs, I would break my family's heart if ever I do fall in love with a guy of different faith or an atheist. On my own, I wouldn't care what a person's faith is as long as he is kind and compassionate. This is something I worry about but will have to face when I am dealt with the situation. I guess the best you can do is prove to the girl you are determined for her, what ever her decision would be, try as hard to accept it. Cos it's not easy being on her part too.

 

[Badjedidude]

Just balls up and try. There's no harm in giving it a shot and seeing what might happen.

Give it a shot.

 

[LGH1288]

Hi xuchu5 ~ Ol' Kill Joy weighing in! My advice is to stay away. Really far, far away. Why? Because if you truly love her you could be putting her at risk to become the victim of a possible honor killing under strict Muslim "Shariah Law" which her father might choose to enforce. For example, Amina and Sarah Said were allegedly killed by their father for dating non-Muslim boys and left to die in his taxi. Good luck, LGH

 

[evanescencefan91]

Hi xuchu5 ~ Ol' Kill Joy weighing in! My advice is to stay away. Really far, far away. Why? Because if you truly love her you could be putting her at risk to become the victim of a possible honor killing under strict Muslim "Shariah Law" which her father might choose to enforce. For example, Amina and Sarah Said were allegedly killed by their father for dating non-Muslim boys and left to die in his taxi. Good luck, LGH

:O

*shocked kitten*

wow,......... um


try talking to her, how does she think her dad would react
hey you could maybe try talking to her dad

( while wearing some kevlar just to be safe)

maybe start with i would be interested in your daughter and end with

AND PLEASE DON'T KILL ME DX
really quickly getting it in there

that sounds like a really really really extreme case, and personally i think it would be unlikely if that would happen to you,

where do you live if you don't mind me asking

 

[Joseph]

LGH raises a good point. The muslim world is on fire right now, and if polled on the street large percentages of the muslim world actually want and condone Sharia Law. You could very well endanger her. It's actually not all that rare. It's commonplace in the muslim world for fathers, brothers, or other family members to mutilate, torture, and kill their daughters and sisters for doing things as minor as wearing western clothing, listening to western music, OR KISSING A BOY. Tread cautiously, my friend.

http://www.jihadwatch.org/2006/02/strong-support-for-sharia-in-jordan-pa-egypt.html

If you question this source, feel free to search hundreds of others. I didn't selectively choose, this is indicative of the actual sentiment in the Arab Street. Most people believe that it is a small, radical minority that want Sharia Law. It's not. It's actually the majority.

 

[cookie]

Wow, guys don't scare him off. I know you just want to prepare him for the worst case.
But how about you just ask your friend out and frankly ask her about what her family would think. I don't think she would feel offended by that question. But please ask her, if you wont, you may regret for not having asked her out later.
So just try and find out.

 

[Poueff]

Hi xuchu5 ~ Ol' Kill Joy weighing in! My advice is to stay away. Really far, far away. Why? Because if you truly love her you could be putting her at risk to become the victim of a possible honor killing under strict Muslim "Shariah Law" which her father might choose to enforce. For example, Amina and Sarah Said were allegedly killed by their father for dating non-Muslim boys and left to die in his taxi. Good luck, LGH

Shariah Law doesn't condone killing another muslim just because... she'd have to break it first,and by shariah law,her dad could only kill her boyfriend,not her. And tbh,most muslims don't take shariah that serious.

 

[xuchu5]

@ evanescencefan: I live in London, UK.

Guys, I know all about Shariah Law(I used to live in Saudi Arabia), but seriously some of you are hyping it way out of proportion. While there still may be the odd "honor killing" in the UK, it is a very small minority. Not sure about Egypt. I know from speaking to her that she doesn't like shariah law. While I don't know what her parents might say, I'm sure they won't go as far to implement shariah law even if they don't agree with her dating a non-muslim. They are doctors so hopefully they'll be more educated and abide by the hippocratic oath of "not to do harm". Then again I'm not a patient. :S

Tbh, it's not even really about the religion issue. I'm just simply scared. I've never asked a woman out and scenarios play out in my head in which she says no. Maybe I'm in the dreaded "friend zone" as well D: That's it, I'm simply scared of rejection.

But you know what, I'll never know if I don't try and I know I'll regret it later if I don't ask her out and somebody else does. So thank you for the advice and encouragement. I'll let you guys know how it goes, if want to know as well

 

[cookie]

@ evanescencefan: I live in London, UK.

Guys, I know all about Shariah Law(I used to live in Saudi Arabia), but seriously some of you are hyping it way out of proportion. While there still may be the odd "honor killing" in the UK, it is a very small minority. Not sure about Egypt. I know from speaking to her that she doesn't like shariah law. While I don't know what her parents might say, I'm sure they won't go as far to implement shariah law even if they don't agree with her dating a non-muslim. They are doctors so hopefully they'll be more educated and abide by the hippocratic oath of "not to do harm". Then again I'm not a patient. :S

Tbh, it's not even really about the religion issue. I'm just simply scared. I've never asked a woman out and scenarios play out in my head in which she says no. Maybe I'm in the dreaded "friend zone" as well D: That's it, I'm simply scared of rejection.

I'm also muslim and my sister is getting married this year to a non-muslim. Yes, it is possible. :-D

But you know what, I'll never know if I don't try and I know I'll regret it later if I don't ask her out and somebody else does. So thank you for the advice and encouragement. I'll let you guys know how it goes, if want to know as well

Yeaaaaayyy!!
Good luck!!!!

 

[jales]

Im happy you will ask her.
Gooooood Luck. And do let us know..

 

[A new life]

original reply deleted by me
(tired of getting flamed for pointing out the elephant in the room.)
proceed with caution.

 

[xuchu5]

Well...so I told her that I like her and she said she "isn't ready for a relationship"
Now what do I do? I feel horrible...I almost want to say sorry for asking her.

 

[Joseph]

........

 

[Joseph]

You want to "say sorry" for telling her how you feel?

What kind of pussy move is that?

You do that and not only will you not be getting any sugar now, but you won't be in the future either.

Why apologize for flattering her and expressing your true feelings? Instead, be cool about it, back off, and let her do her thing. If it's meant to be, it will be. But one thing is for certain she certainly won't respect you for backpedaling in a weasley fashion.

Here's an idea: Take what she said at face value, don't take it personally, and move on!

 

[A new life]

Well...so I told her that I like her and she said she "isn't ready for a relationship"
Now what do I do? I feel horrible...I almost want to say sorry for asking her.

she "isn't ready for a relationship"

One excuse is as good as another.
Move on, just a fast as you can.

She may have done you a great favor!

 

[ourcocoon]

What is important in falling in love is FALLING and not LOVE. A falling object feels like flying. So it means it is time for U to learn flying. it is not about her and it is all about U. So if you are ready give her a ride, she will come with U.

 

[jales]

i agree with Joesph. It's good that you told her though. At least now you know that you tried.