futurecatlady
Well-known member
I always wonder just what it is that draws that invisible line between normal and lonely. I guess you could say it's looks, or friendliness. But the truth is, the other side is just as randomly distributed in those traits as this side is. I'm quite unattractive, but I am not deformed--in fact, in dim lighting and from a distance I might even look like a typical girl. So why have I never had male attention of any kind, even the lecherous variety? (Not that I want to be hit on by random drunks. I don't, at all, but I do wonder what it means that I'm not even good enough for a semi-conscious bar patron to make so much as a half-hearted pass at.) Same goes for personality. Talking to me probably akin to watching paint peel while a clock ticks nearby at quarter speed, but at least I'm usually conscious. I know people who are shyer than even me and, although it is cruel to say so, not exactly a barrel of fun. And yet I see them frolicking about, silent but happy and surrounded by friends who seem to take utter delight in the few words they might say.
And then there's the other extreme. The people who seem normal on the outside, but who have some sort of cosmic, radiant power that causes all who cross their path to love them. I know people who literally have too many friends than they can keep track of, and it is due to absolutely zero effort on their part. They just attract them unconsciously, like lint to a wool coat. When people like that exist, why are there people like me, to whom any conversation where the recipient does not get up and walk off while I am still completing a sentence is considered successful?
I seriously wonder if it's biological. Apparently sex researchers are uninterested in studying incels (perhaps that, too, is a sign?) but I think it would be fascinating to look more deeply into what factors make some people socially successful, while others struggle greatly. Maybe we emit some pheromone that is subconsciously unpleasant to humans, or our ear-to-nose ratio gives some sort of nonverbal cue that we would make poor mates. Or it could be psychological. How do our conversation patterns differ from the rest of the population? Body language? Rate of blinking? So many different variables that could have significance in this issue.
Discuss.
And then there's the other extreme. The people who seem normal on the outside, but who have some sort of cosmic, radiant power that causes all who cross their path to love them. I know people who literally have too many friends than they can keep track of, and it is due to absolutely zero effort on their part. They just attract them unconsciously, like lint to a wool coat. When people like that exist, why are there people like me, to whom any conversation where the recipient does not get up and walk off while I am still completing a sentence is considered successful?
I seriously wonder if it's biological. Apparently sex researchers are uninterested in studying incels (perhaps that, too, is a sign?) but I think it would be fascinating to look more deeply into what factors make some people socially successful, while others struggle greatly. Maybe we emit some pheromone that is subconsciously unpleasant to humans, or our ear-to-nose ratio gives some sort of nonverbal cue that we would make poor mates. Or it could be psychological. How do our conversation patterns differ from the rest of the population? Body language? Rate of blinking? So many different variables that could have significance in this issue.
Discuss.