Self-Sabotage

[eh?]

Do you think you are consciously/sub-consciously sabotaging yourself?

I think I am. I think it is mostly sub-conscious. Very subtle actions that prevent me from forming deeper relationships.

Sometimes, I notice it.
For instance, I would often pull back communicating with some people if I feel I have said too much.
I would disqualify myself from conversations.

If you do sabotage yourself, do you think it is something you should or will change? If you did previously, what did you do to fix it?




eh.... just thinking to myself really... using you all as a sort of "hive" brain.

 

[Spare]

I'm pretty sure this is true for me, as well.

I sometimes wonder if a person can become so used to being lonely and/or unhappy that it becomes comfortable, thus making any attempt to find some measure of happiness seem unappealing.

It frightens me to think that I might sub-consciously WANT to be unhappy. To try and combat this I think back on the good times, or any small triumphs I've had, and I try to remember how I felt. Then I will tell myself, 'that's how you could feel ALL THE TIME! Chase that feeling!' It helps a bit.

 

[Athiest #001]

Feel the same way. I didn't go to class today because I didn't feel like it, then I felt unhappy all day. Feels like I am sabotaging my day for no reason. That happens a lot.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

For me it's a consious decision...

At first i thought it was subconsious...It seems like it was.

I took an inventory of my life...there's patterns.
My self-sabotage was always around a threashold...
If I didn't have a relationship per say..more than a year...Once a year time line comes around,
I'd do stupid honeysuckle to fresia it up..it seems like I did it subconsiouse or I was in a sleep walk.

By writing an inventory of my life..I brought it up into my consiouse level..
I became aware of it. Once I do this...I tell myself I'm repsonsible.
I've watch myself do it..consiously...

This dosn't not exclude me from going through withdraws of selfsabtage..I will feel very, restless
,irrable and discontent....as if there's some off the wall body clock built into me to fresia honeysuckle up.

Sometimes I have to sit still or sit on my hands to chill the fresia out...becuase I'm aware of what's happening.
Kind of like going through withdraws...

Self sabtage feeds into my depression...becuase after I fresia honeysuckle up...Life is kind of messed up
and I'll feel bad about myself.

I been working on myself alot...getting rid of the negative inner vioce.
Working on loving myself...tell myself that i love myself and that I deserve to be happy.

If i have a very hard time...and I'm aware of whats happening...and i feel as if I can't hang..

I simply LET GO of those feelings and thoughts...
If it get really bad...I just aks god for help..Pray ...whatever it takes..becuase i don't wanna
fresia up my life anymore...I going forward and not doing the same honeysuckle over and over again.
Build my life up to a certain piont..then fresia it up...build my life up again..then fresia it up.

It's my fucken EGO....that's doing it. FEAR...it mask and camoflage itself as my subconsious..(subtlte)
If I tell myself it's my subconsious ..it wins. becuase I will feel I can't do anything about it and
my life will suck. NOPE..it's a fucken lie.
My ego is cunning and baffling..

i have had enough...( I hope i remember this when the next sabatage cycle hits)

Think outside of the box..to be outside of the box.

Its not any different than me being afriad to ask a hot chick out..becuase I think she's too good for me..
I'll simply self-sabatge...by talking myself out of it or not taking the actions to approch her becuase of FEAR.

 

[Spare]

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

Litany against fear, from Dune, by Frank Herbert.

Much easier said than done.

 

[livjs]

I think I do that...

Even when I have all the good things coming my way, I keep on making excuses to be sad. It is almost like I enjoy being depressed! Is there such thing as a recreational depression?? Lol?

Actually, I think i do it because I don't handle disappointments well. So, I keep myself in a constant low, sometimes ...dangerously low. It's pathetic.. I know

 

[Nyktimos]

I'm pretty much the same. As to whether I should change it; nothing seems to matter much right now.

 

[eh?]

@Spare: I would love to chase that feeling but the feeling is so far and few between that I don't remember it.
If I could get there once, somehow grab some of those good vibes, I think I can replicate it.

I dig the quote from the book, although I am not quite sure if fear is the problem here. Not sure... but that quote would do well for other situations. *puts in quote bank*

@Atheist #001: There has to be a reason. Maybe that is how you find your solution (assuming you think it is a problem).

@Lonesome Crow: Life inventory sounds interesting. I kinda dig the idea.

@livjs: It's not pathetic. I think it is natural really. When you put your hand in fire the first time when you are a kid, you learn not to do it again. You also learn to avoid similar things that could burn you. Same with getting burned emotionally. You try to avoid things that will burn you again. I am trying to learn how to not have expectations and just let it ride. May or may not work.

@Nyktimos: Why does nothing matter?