Seriously..Stop Saying this!

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Please no gender stereotyping!!

I hate it, too, but there's no escaping it. Women generally go after one type of man until their 30's, and by that time, at least 1/2 of them don't look as good anymore. So it's just something us unattractive guys have to put up with.

Wow. First of all that is not true. Not all women go after one type of man until their 30's, some do, some don't. Same thing with guys, some go after one type of women, some don't. And at least 1/2 of them don't look as good anymore? Really? Wow, again. And to claim to be unattractive and make a remark like that.

*shakes head*

Most women are the hottest in their early to mid 20's. This is the period when they go after the bad boys.

There are some women that aren't like this, but I'd like to find one who is "hot", knows it, and actually appreciates kindness instead of doucheness.

 

[Ak5]

I lol. You're complaining about the "bad boys" getting the girls. Yet you want to find a girl who is "hot" and appreciates nice guys? How about a plain jane girl who appreciates us nice guys?

Besides, being a nice guy doesn't eliminate you from the pool.

Pardon if I misunderstood what you posted.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

So, what you're arguing is that all the attractive girls are mean, and all the nice girls aren't hot, Ak?

 

[Ak5]

I'm arguing is that it doesn't matter.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It matters to me. You have to have sexual attraction to your partner.

I guess that's why these women date the bad boys.

 

[Ak5]

Your choice. All girls are attractive in different ways, just saying.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Not all girls are attractive. At least, physically.

I mean, come on man. Would you date someone who you found physically repulsive?

All human beings are drawn to other human beings they find physically attractive.

 

[2fresh4youx]

I was quite frustrated when I wrote this. The first situation with the girl at work, I guess it wasn't too bad, I just take it in an insulting way when they talk about other guys in front of your face, especially to someone you've barely met.

The other girl, well, if someone has the intelligence level to ask a question like "Why am I attracted to bad guys? I know they're not good for me, but I will always like them for some reason anyway" then I sure as hell have no reason to associate myself with them. There are some other reasons why I chose to ignore her which I find justified.

It's just so hard to go out there in the world, meet new people, be yourself, and just continually get ignored. People do become interested in me, say, after a few months of working with them, but that's a few months! How I am supposed to meet friends and women and keep their interest? Its a huge competition and I come last everytime I'm with a bunch of other guys. Their eyes are immediately drawn to the tall, handsome men while I'll get the left over details of what happened with their man and someone to talk to when their relationship goes astray. I'm sorry, I dont want to be this person. I don't want to be friend zoned. I dont want to be a woman's puppy.

And yeah, I literally cant stand it when another male begins to talk about women as an object, especially when they, themselves, have a girlfriend. It makes me sick to my stomach. And the cheesy charms actually work on them! Hah.

Im not going to change my personallity, or the way I come across to people. Im perfectly happpy with it. If it means I come last in the race to a woman, so be it. Does anybody else thinks that flirting is just so corny and cheesy? Ive tried it before, it dosent feel right. I mean, it makes me say stuff i wouldnt normally say. Why can't I just use words like "beautiful" "exquisite" instead of these silly, subtle, sexy innuendos that men and women use between each other. Im a pretty straight foward person and usually tell it like it is when asked. So flirting is something that I hardly doubt I will ever be good at.

 

[The_Old_Soul]

I agree with a few things you have stated. In my case, being a "nice guy" has not only gotten me no where, but it's also made me an easy target for people who like to build themselves up by tearing others down. As far as women go, of you are less than attractive like myself, then they won't even give you the time of day to find out wether you are a nice guy or not.

As far as immaturity goes...most people I have to deal with are partying and getting trashed throughout their 20's. It seems like kids don't have to get it together until their 30's now. In past generations, people were married at 19 or 20 and had children on the way and had steady jobs... The partying was left behind in their teens.

 

[Hoffy]

Not all girls are attractive. At least, physically.

I mean, come on man. Would you date someone who you found physically repulsive?

All human beings are drawn to other human beings they find physically attractive.

Looks aren't everything Muse. Get to know the person, the inner beauty is the best beauty.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Most women are the hottest in their early to mid 20's.

What????????????

I dont......



even....


*facepalm*

 

[Minus]

What????????????

I dont......


even....

*facepalm*

Yeah that was my reaction too.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Okay, some women. Not all.

I always get sucked into these gender wars, and I hate it!

 

[Felix]

"Your a nice person"

Is Simply another word for "boring"

All my life, wherever I go, whoever ive met, all people have had to say about me is that Im a nice person. Do you seriously have to rub it in that much that Im boring as fresia?

Honestly, Does anybody else get this?

When I was little, my parents always told me I was always a "nice young boy". And somehow, this instilled on my subconcious that I should pride myself on that. But has being nice ever got me anywhere? No. Has being nice ever got me friends? No. Has it ever got me a girlfriend? No. Ive only come to the recent realisation that being nice gets you nowhere in life. I will admit, I come across as nice person if you met me in real life, it's just how I am, but that's all you'll ever get from me. You wont get a witty, humorous individual. You won't get an intelligent, smart person. And you certainly wont get a nice looking person either. Just another looked over, 5-4 short as fresia virgin male who is about as attractive as that rock over there. People always ignore me, and Im sure my height has always been a major factor, especially when it comes to friends. And women, dont get me started on that area.

And my generation. Seriously. Am I meeting the same person over and over?

Scenario:
Guy 1: "Hey man, what did you do over the weekend?
Guy 2" "Got trashed man"

Wow, really. Is that all people do these days? Party?

If you're not a humorous individual or an attractive person, you will go ignored, period.

And don't get me started on the way men of my generation talk about women. It's absolutely disgusting. And the worst part about it, is they, women, go along with it and love it!

I can't connect with anyone in this world.

I too was raised to be nice, be 'a gentleman', treat them with respect.... blablabla...

The truth is, the sooner you forget that the better. Things are so much complex than that nowadays. Like you, I rage sometimes, but it's really pointless. People want what they want, or what today's society has made them want. You can't change that.

The thing is, when you rage about it so much you become a sort of facist. Instead of accepting the way the world works, you whine and go deeper and deeper in your hatred for today's social relationships. You push yourself further and further from the rest of mankind. And when you see them partying and ******* while you sit home alone... Once again you rage.

Yes woman won't just settle with 'nice'. But come on, we man also have a tendency to fall for pretty girls. It's sort of similar when you think about it. I'm not particulary proud of saying it, but also not ashamed to admit that the main thing for me is the looks of a woman. It's my own right, as is the right of girls who'd rather be with a 'bad boy'. You can disagree but everybodys choices should be respected...

And let's admit, not everyone is like that... If we can't find a partner it might just be because of our crappy social skills...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You're absolutely right, Felix. It's no use worrying about it - the pretty girls will always go for jerks, and the older ones will settle. That's how it is.

I have gone past being bitter about it. Now I just hope I'll meet one of the rare ones that aren't like that, and avoid the ones that are like that.

 

[The Good Citizen]

You're absolutely right, Felix. It's no use worrying about it - the pretty girls will always go for jerks, and the older ones will settle. That's how it is.

I have gone past being bitter about it. Now I just hope I'll meet one of the rare ones that aren't like that, and avoid the ones that are like that.

So if I have a pretty girl on my arm I am almost certainly a jerk and a "bad boy"?

What are we in here 12 years old?

This is more about childish bitterness than objectivity.

 

[SophiaGrace]

And what about the ugly girls?

 

[The Good Citizen]

And what about the ugly girls?

They will settle apparently, with ugly guys who will have them.

I too was raised to be nice, be 'a gentleman', treat them with respect.... blablabla...
The truth is, the sooner you forget that the better.

I try to be courteous and polite to anyone I meet (sometimes I fail), I don't pick and choose based on when I find someone attractive. If its just an act that can be dropped when its not 'working' well it was always doomed to failure. Women can smell bullshit a mile off.

 

[2fresh4youx]

I don't know, I just think that there is too much of a "universal" standard of attraction. I just don't understand it. Like, we look up to Women such as Angelina Jolie being the ultimate "woman". Sure, she maybe nice to look at, but she seems to be placed so high on a pedestal just because of her looks. I want a girl, not necessarily this universal hotness standard that is going around, but one that has a certain sexiness that compliments her nice looks. I've known and met women that after time, they somehow become sexy in their own way. But yes, there has to be some sort of physical attraction; if there is none at the start, then it's highly unlikely that it will develop later on, no matter how great the person can be (And there comes the friend zone). I'd never settle for somebody that I didnt find physically attractive. I'd be lying to them everytime I told them that I loved them or that you look beautiful.

Call me old fashioned, but things like one night stands, friend with benefits etc don't appeal to me at all, because it feels as if your simply treating another person like an object to fulfill your desires. And these things can become a real mess emotionally as well.

Does anybody's heart just sink when you see a decent looking girl on the street? I always begin to think thoughts like "That is something I'll never have"., mainly due to my personality, looks and height.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Attractiveness is not just looks based though. I think some people fall into that trap and dismiss someone who does not immediately bowl them over before they've even spoke to them as being “unattractive”.

Looks are an attribute, but so is having similar life views, things in common, a similar temperament or personality. Just about anything positive about someone you could find to be attractive. Have you never chatted to a girl who didn't immediately jump out at you the first time you saw her and then got to know her a bit and thought actually she is really nice? The next time you see her she will be more attractive, same face, same body but a different girl.

Of course looks are an advantage and being tall dark and handsome will help but if you are dull, arrogant or some other negative quality then you become less attractive, for anything meaningful anyway. You would probably rely on jumping between constant fleeting encounters with people before they got to know the real you and realised you weren't all they initially thought. That’s where looks can be a burden as it’s the first thing we are judged on.

I’m not immune to a pretty smile and nice eyes but being attractive is not the same as being good looking. I think people fail to recognise the difference and get so caught up in their self perception of their own looks it encourages bitterness, self loathing and shyness and other negative qualities to creep in which are probably the real reason that they can't meet someone. It’s never all about looks.