sexually frustrated

[Badjedidude]

Don't pay for it - think about this for a moment, do you think the 'escort'/ prostitute will be feeling anything but contempt and disgust while you 'do it'?

You will be just another miserable experience for money

A lot of prostitutes enjoy what they do. A lot of women see it as getting to have lots of sex and earning money for it.

My point here is that not ALL prostitutes are working unwillingly or hate what they do.

 

[Dissident]

Bunny Ranch might be an example of that.

 

[Poguesy]

And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger

And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind

Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me

 

[Moe'sTavern]

Op, I'm 26 and a virgin like you. Didn't have my first kiss till I was 24 to a glorified hooker. The virginity thing is not a big deal at all. And any woman who will care about you enough will not judge you for it. Best advice I can give is try to occupy your mind with other things so your not so fixated on this.

 

[PyramidHead]

Op, I'm 26 and a virgin like you. Didn't have my first kiss till I was 24 to a glorified hooker. The virginity thing is not a big deal at all. And any woman who will care about you enough will not judge you for it. Best advice I can give is try to occupy your mind with other things so your not so fixated on this.

Some people say, that at some age, virgins (of both genders) get very rare, so you can let this fact work for you to become something rare and desirable. However, even for me that is hard to believe... I guess maybe it is one of these things you just need to believe in to feel better.

I say: Like every topic, it is as important as you make it. If you can give a **** about it, then it won't be a problem anymore.
Of course, it always depends on your typical partner of choice... a sex hungry partner may find this lack of experience bad... but well, if you are very open-minded, than you may even get enough plus points with these kind to make up for it. =)

 

[Badjedidude]

Some people say, that at some age, virgins (of both genders) get very rare, so you can let this fact work for you to become something rare and desirable.

... a sex hungry partner may find this lack of experience bad...

Speaking for myself here:

I don't find virgins desirable at all. I'd rather have a woman with experience. I've had encounters with virgins before, and lemme tell ya...

...it just ends up being extremely awkward and confusing. The virgin doesn't know what they want or what they're into sexually, they don't have nearly the amount of sexual experience as someone who's "gone all the way" before... they misread intentions and misunderstand things... Often they're frightened to death of sex. Maybe it's just me, but a large portion of the virgins I've met were virgins for religious reasons, and they end up being horrifically sexually inhibited and repressed because of this. Sometimes they don't even understand modern birth control and are deathly afraid of accidentally having children, because they're unable to comprehend the idea of evil things like Plan B or abortion.

They have unrealistic expectations that their first night together with someone will be magical and special and really just amazing. They don't fully understand that sex is about two bodies slapping against each other, making wet, sloppy noises, having fun little stumbling accidents like half-falling off the bed. They don't understand that sex is about saliva and semen and girl juices all over the place, and the stank of two people secreting all over each other while they try to figure out what turns each other on. I know that my description here sounds disgusting, but... really. Sex is messy and undignified and crazy and wet and fun. And I absolutely love it.

Also, virgins expect their first time to be with someone with whom they're deeply in love: "THE ONE!!"

I honestly can't feel right about having sex with a virgin. I'm probably not going to be "the one" for them. We might date for a while and eventually break up; in fact, that seems to happen most of the time after a virgin has sex for the first time. I'm not sure I personally know anyone who is still together with the person who took their virginity. Breakups happen, man. I just can't feel right about doing that to a virgin.

Now, with that said... if someone is a virgin, then great. It's a personal choice. More power to ya.

I wouldn't call myself "sex hungry," but these are my reasons for preferring a more experienced woman.

 

[MissGuided]

They don't fully understand that sex is about two bodies slapping against each other, making wet, sloppy noises, having fun little stumbling accidents like half-falling off the bed. They don't understand that sex is about saliva and semen and girl juices all over the place, and the stank of two people secreting all over each other while they try to figure out what turns each other on. I know that my description here sounds disgusting, but... really. Sex is messy and undignified and crazy and wet and fun. And I absolutely love it.

*flushed* Dear God, I need a cold shower....and new batteries.

 

[Badjedidude]

*flushed* Dear God, I need a cold shower....and new batteries.

(hello) why... you don't need batteries, mah dear.

 

[MissGuided]

(hello) why... you don't need batteries, mah dear.

*swoons and faints*

 

[Moe'sTavern]

However, even for me that is hard to believe... I guess maybe it is one of these things you just need to believe in to feel better.

Which part is hard to believe?

 

[PyramidHead]

Which part is hard to believe?

That something is rare and wanted, while most of the people who have it complain about it. Sounds a bit too ironically to me.
But that's the good thing about beliefs, you can decide how much they appeal to you. =)

*flushed* Dear God, I need a cold shower....and new batteries.

(hello) why... you don't need batteries, mah dear.

...because, some things are rechargeable?

 

[jzinsky]

Having only read the OP I have this:

I was a 20 year old virgin

The being horny all the time is otherwise known as been a teenager, or male

Sounds hard on the face of it (ba-dum-tsch!) but worrying about it only makes it worse. Just remember you're a sexy young stud in his peak of fertility and any woman would be (insert simile of proud or pun about having had a lot of sex here) to be with you

 

[SolitarySol]

I am 30, a virgin, and very sexually frustrated. I don't know how to cure this.

I'm 32, not a virgin but sexually frustrated. Women in their 30s have CRAZY hormones! Once it got so bad I had to find ways to hook up with someone. I was lucky to find a guy who was fun and adventurous to have a fling with. But, that's soooo out of my character.

I'm not sure if this is an American culture thing. I'm from Southeast Asia and being virgin is not much of a big deal. Some of my friends are virgins til now (same age group). I was a virgin until I was 24. Yes, although I was sexually frustrated but it wasn't a big deal to me like now..... in my 30s. Sometimes I feel like a walking hormone. Being single doesn't help. I don't know how to cure this either.

 

[Edward W]

^ And you bake cakes as well, how on earth are you still single!!!!!

 

[perfanoff]

I am 30, a virgin, and very sexually frustrated. I don't know how to cure this.

I'm 32, not a virgin but sexually frustrated. Women in their 30s have CRAZY hormones! Once it got so bad I had to find ways to hook up with someone. I was lucky to find a guy who was fun and adventurous to have a fling with. But, that's soooo out of my character.

I'm not sure if this is an American culture thing. I'm from Southeast Asia and being virgin is not much of a big deal. Some of my friends are virgins til now (same age group). I was a virgin until I was 24. Yes, although I was sexually frustrated but it wasn't a big deal to me like now..... in my 30s. Sometimes I feel like a walking hormone. Being single doesn't help. I don't know how to cure this either.

Get a boyfriend?

 

[ardour]

@Badjedidude.

Despite all the awkward physical elements, sex is positive when it's an outward expression of affection for someone you love and are committed to. It's a hell of a lot more than two bodies...

I'm not repressed, I feel sorry for you and anyone else who shares and that shallow bankrupt point of view.

Oh and Marvin Gaye FTW.

 

[duff]

Don't pay for it - think about this for a moment, do you think the 'escort'/ prostitute will be feeling anything but contempt and disgust while you 'do it'?

You will be just another miserable experience for money

A lot of prostitutes enjoy what they do. A lot of women see it as getting to have lots of sex and earning money for it.

My point here is that not ALL prostitutes are working unwillingly or hate what they do.

exactly. The one I see every now and again clearly loves her job !

---

The obvious answer isn't to pay for it at all.... the obvious answer is a bit of the old "five finger shuffle" and a box of kleenex


But on a serious note, being 20 and a virgin is not a bad thing at all. Trust me, not having had sex is a hell of a lot better than having had sex that you since regret.

I have no qualms about admitting that I was 24 when I lost my virginity, but at the time I felt the same as you and just "wanted it done", so even that was a mistake that I since regretted. Had I waited until I'd met my husband (which was only a few months later), it would've been a much more meaningful experience.

So I think paying for it would just be an empty experience, just for the sake of it, that you may well come to regret later when you do meet someone special.

And... This is just my personal opinion, and it may be old fashioned or whatever, but if I started dating a guy and found out that he'd been to a prostitute (especially lost his virginity to one), that would be very, very off-putting. Not just from a matter of taste, but also from a health risks point of view, as some Sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes and HPV can be totally undetectable for years after infection, with a person acting as a carrier even if they don't experience symptoms themselves.

i know everybody is different and 'paying' for it isn't for some people.

Along as it's safe and you have the money then I would urge all frustrated men to at least think about it.

It was the best thing I ever did ! And a turning point in my life !

And if I ever did start dating a woman (Not much chance by the way !), I obviously wouldn't tell her !

 

[ardour]

They're paid to fake... keep deluding yourself.
Those who genuinely like the occupation were probably abused and have mental problems.

..just saying what most people think.

 

[defenestrate]

Funny, the one prostitute I knew who genuinely enjoyed the occupation was severely abused and did have mental problems. Except it isn't funny... and I don't enjoy the fact I've known way too many prostitutes in my life... I need to be careful here and not outlive my welcome by being too explicit. One thing I've learned very quickly was how much they've loathed 'Johns' because they're terrible at performing... Which is one of the many reasons why they gained nothing pleasurable from the job other than meeting basic necessity for survival. This is the most degrading job in the world and it's an insult to refer to it as a job. Johns are very terrible at performing... Because of their inexperience... Badjedidude had -that- part down correctly... Dan Savage also has a few words along those lines only more positive and encouraging for those who kept their virginity. Basically; there's nothing to be ashamed of if you've kept your virginity. Only jerks will treat you poorly for being a virgin - and it doesn't matter how old you are. These are exactly the sort of people who you should make effort in avoiding. In a healthy relationship the other person should feel honored that your willing to do this with them for the first time...

Personally, I've really started to feel resentful towards for some of the asinine remarks here. But I'm trying really hard to not offend anyone... There's no reason to beat other people down if they're already bummed out.... Especially since we've all come here for reasons of loneliness... Let's all try to stay objective, okay? I'm here because at first I wanted to help somebody who asked for it. Somebody whose already made it clear that he will not pay for a prostitute. What do I think? I think that people place way too much importance on intimacy. I think that being intimate is merely another form of a relationship. And if you want to be involved in any relationship I think you should address the underlying reasons why you might be isolated. Sure, maybe that might include therapy. Maybe that might also include the reasons why you would name yourself, Mr.Hermit. There must be some reason why you'd refer to yourself as a Hermit. Maybe there is room for personal growth and improvement? Maybe there's at least one single thing you can think of as to why your isolated? I'm perfectly okay admitting to strangers that I was a late bloomer before I put myself out there. That's never anything to be ashamed of. Just please be easy on yourself and invest in your own happiness. Because you are worth it...

 

[duff]

They're paid to fake... keep deluding yourself.
Those who genuinely like the occupation were probably abused and have mental problems.

..just saying what most people think.

people are wrong, nothing seedy or wrong in what I do.

It's not a quick knee tremble in some grotty bedsit either.

But I understand why people don't do it.

---

They're paid to fake... keep deluding yourself.
Those who genuinely like the occupation were probably abused and have mental problems.

..just saying what most people think.

I know it's fake as well, I'm not that daft !