Hope_Reigns
Well-known member
Every day that passes, I keep trying to distract myself, try to find something good to grasp, find some goal to aim for.. none of it works for long, and works a shorter amount of time each time.
The last few days, I haven't posted, most of the time I don't want to talk..I don't want to feel, I don't want to think..everything is messed up.
My heart is still totally shattered, and totally sure he was the one..and sure it doesn't even matter cause I can't have it anyways.
Every day without him is like hell on earth, I've lost my best friend in the world, my one true love.. I will always love him, I will always miss him. I've had other relationships, I've loved before, I've never ever had this. Never had my heart, head and everything 100% positive before.
Without him I'm missing part of myself, I feel the pull constantly, feel him all around me no matter what I do. Last 2 days I feel nauseous most of the time.
I can survive without him, I have no choice, I do what's needed, I do what's required, I go about my empty pointless world doing things I could care less about without him to share it with. Everything feels empty and pointless. I will exist, but my life and happiness..is replaced by empty pain and loss.
I'm sorry I don't have my chin up, I've tried, and felt bad for it, and ..
Day by day I just shut down a little more..with the only feeling being this bleeding empty pit in my heart where he should be. Oddly he's still there too, which makes no sense at all.
Maybe I'm failing myself, maybe I'm failing you guys, but.. I just want my life back I just want my heart and soul hole again..I want my family so much, I want my best friend back..I want something to make a little sense. *wipes her eyes and makes herself shush again*
The last few days, I haven't posted, most of the time I don't want to talk..I don't want to feel, I don't want to think..everything is messed up.
My heart is still totally shattered, and totally sure he was the one..and sure it doesn't even matter cause I can't have it anyways.
Every day without him is like hell on earth, I've lost my best friend in the world, my one true love.. I will always love him, I will always miss him. I've had other relationships, I've loved before, I've never ever had this. Never had my heart, head and everything 100% positive before.
Without him I'm missing part of myself, I feel the pull constantly, feel him all around me no matter what I do. Last 2 days I feel nauseous most of the time.
I can survive without him, I have no choice, I do what's needed, I do what's required, I go about my empty pointless world doing things I could care less about without him to share it with. Everything feels empty and pointless. I will exist, but my life and happiness..is replaced by empty pain and loss.
I'm sorry I don't have my chin up, I've tried, and felt bad for it, and ..
Day by day I just shut down a little more..with the only feeling being this bleeding empty pit in my heart where he should be. Oddly he's still there too, which makes no sense at all.
Maybe I'm failing myself, maybe I'm failing you guys, but.. I just want my life back I just want my heart and soul hole again..I want my family so much, I want my best friend back..I want something to make a little sense. *wipes her eyes and makes herself shush again*