Simply unreasonable…

[CenotaphGirl]

So I have a question, if your partner keeps doing something that really hurts you, but to most people its unreasonable to get upset about, what should you do? (Considering talking about it has not worked). Endure the pain/pretend or walk away?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Btw this isn't about me lol im single as a deranged Pringle....

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, whether people think it's unreasonable or not is completely irrelevant. If someone is hurting you, you have talked about it and they continue to hurt you, I'd say it's time to walk away.

That said, it might be worth considering therapy first to determine if it's actually ridiculous to be hurt by someone everyone seems to think is unreasonable to be hurt by. You know, just talking it over with someone in a professional capacity, not like full blown years worth of therapy to change a part of you or anything like that. Just like a consultation.

BUT, without knowing what it is, it's hard to say for sure. Like what kind of "hurt" are we talking about? Are they punching you in their sleep? Do they call you stupid when you make a mistake. Emotional or physical hurt?

 

[Claudia1794]

Sure, endure it. That works for some. Shut that honeysuckle down in whatever way works. Or walk away. I prefer walk away and don't look back.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

It depends on your fortitude and threshold.
Enduring can contribute to you developing higher resilience and better coping mechanisms, but if enduring is too painful, than walking away is the better option.

 

[dpet12569]

It depends on what is going on. All of us have our faults, and all of us annoy others in some way. So, if it is one of those "little" things that are not damaging in the long run, then it might be that the person feeling hurt would be better off learning to accept the partners humanity. On the other hand, there could be something larger that needs to be addressed. As I said, it depends.

But I think partners do bother each other in some way, and often without any malicious intention. For example, my wife cannot stand to be touched when she is in pain, or sad, or upset. Me, I want to give her a hug and hold her when she suffers, but if I do, she shoves me away. That hurts me, because I want to comfort her, but my preferred way of offering comfort hurts her. So I have had to adjust and tell her that I am there for her when she needs me and back away when she needs me to.

So learning to accept and work with the foibles of one's partner is all part of two people living together. But if the actions of one partner do cause abuse, then that is a completely different story.

 

[Finished]

Btw this isn't about me lol im single as a deranged Pringle....

Oh okay. I can answer it then. Ha! Ha!

If someone does something that hurts me I will tell them and ask them to stop. If they continue then I show them that it hurts me. If they still continue then I hurt them or leave whatever is more appropriate. If someone is knowingly hurting me then I have zero compassion for them.