So... Lonely...

[BrassMonkey]

I've tried so hard just to be a part of something. I've been rejected by everything in my life.

I don't have a family, my parents divorced when I was 5. I've tried so hard to find a social circle but am constantly rejected by my peers. I've had 4 true friends in my life at separate times and each one has moved away from me. My employer fired me after my car accident. I search hard for that special girl but I'm too desperate for companionship. At the peak of my loneliness, marijuana was my only friend. Both parents left me on the street after discovering my habit. I've never been a part of anything, at least not for long.

It seems the only thing worth fighting for in this world are friends, family, and love. Yet those are the three things I feel most detached from. My only true friend lives 2 hours away and I rarely see him. I go over my parents house for dinner and it just doesn't feel like my family. My step dad is the biggest self-centered ******* I know and has irreversibly ruined our relationship.. all while my mom watched and did nothing which ruined my relationship with her as well. My step mom is the nicest person in the world but I was never able to connect with her like a real mom. There's nothing more in this world I want than to fall in love with a girl. But connecting with people is my biggest struggle and for that reason I feel hopeless.

And I sit here wondering why the hell am I writing this? What's the point? Who the hell cares anyway? I have so much to be thankful for, I'm not allowed to complain.

 

[ThinkPositive]

Your parents left you out on the street for marijuana? That. Is. Messed. Up.

It sounds like you've had a string of bad luck. You ARE allowed to complain; that's what this forum here is for! (well, one of the reasons.) I do think that in many situations complaining will just make things worse (ie. if you're trying to meet people), but THIS is the place to let it all out, and we're here to listen!

You say your step mom is really nice...and maybe she'll never be "mom" to you, but maybe you can at least develop some sort of relationship so that she can be a friend?

Hang in there.

 

[QuietGuy]

And I sit here wondering why the hell am I writing this? What's the point? Who the hell cares anyway?

We care.

I have so much to be thankful for, I'm not allowed to complain.

Each of us has plenty to be thankful for - most of us will never have to worry about not having enough food to eat, or enough clothes to keep us warm in the winter, etc. But those things do nothing to ease the pain of loneliness. So as ThinkPositive says, you are allowed to complain, and this is the place to do it. We may not be able to magically click our fingers and solve everyone's problems, but we care when people like yourself are suffering, and we'll support you as best we can. Post here as often as you need to - we're here for you.

 

[SinfulVixen]

Complaints?
Lets call it "venting" then you wont feel so guilty
Plenty of eyes and ears here.May be a good start to finding a connection with someone.

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site, brass monkey.

 

[edgecrusher]

hey and welcome

i know how you feel in many ways. i have had only a few true friends and they are all gone now. i had immediate family issues too and havent really connected with any of them or anyone in the places that i did live once i left home. i have been alone my whole life and would like nothing more than to find that special girl as well.