When I was in Jr High school shyness was such an utter burden in my life it made living life seem unbearable. I remember once my so called friends got some girl in class (one with a short skirt and stacked) to sit on my desk and openly flirt and there I sat sweating like a pig, turning red in the face and unable to speak while my "friends" all laughed their silly asses off at me. Lucky for me I was one of the best athletes in the school and having failed 4th grade I was somewhat bigger than most so one by one I got even with them. A few went away with bruises that came out of my pure anger and rage and some just found things in their lockers that made them empty everything to air them out or throw them away and there were other things I did, but that never helped with my shyness, just made me feel a little better at the time.
As I hit adulthood I was still shy but then discovered the wonder of alcohol and used it for many years as my default mode and got in plenty of trouble with it until I finally stopped consuming it a few years ago.
Now at 50 I'm able to at least speak to the opposite sex without wanting to turn and run, but in matters of intimacy I still have visits from the old spook of shyness and as a result I'll likely spend the rest of my life alone even though I have raised a family, have 4 kids and several grandkids and even one great grandchild on the way.. uhhhg.
My ex walked off a few years ago and I now live where I would never invite a woman unless perhaps she had the look of a bag lady and even then I would be hesitant. The place is a dump and utter pig sty which is my own fault, but I'm at least now comfortable in my own skin for the most part.
I find humor helps with shyness if you're able to laugh at yourself. It's not much fun if the humor is aimed directly at you and is unrelenting poking and prodding like I experienced in school, but laughing at your own condition seems to help.
I've learned to avoid the boisterous types who like to brag and especially I avoid guys who have a thing about telling other men that their own penis is bigger than the grand canyon. I simply don't care so I avoid them like the plague. They're typically the worse offenders anyway when it comes to picking on others.
I'm always ready and willing to discuss things with people and you're always welcome to write. I can't guarantee I'll always respond, but I'll try. I often forget I have email and web site memberships over time. I'm a bookmark pack rat.. Hell, I'm an everything pack rat for that matter.
Something else I feel about "friends"..Before I call anyone a friend they earn that honor as I consider real friendship one of the highest honors anyone can bestow on another.
Friends are people you can confide anything without fear of it being told to everyone else whenever the wind blows the wrong way. Friends are people who always have your back. They stick up for one another and are NOT the same as acquaintances. I KNOW a LOT of people. Knowing someone doesn't by default make them a friend. Friends have respect for each other so before you begin collecting friends as you would pennies in a jar think of who you stick in that jar. When I think back on most people I thought of as friends the majority BY FAR were only people I knew and hung out with..nothing more. I've only had a small handful of friends in my 50 years of life.
