Social anxiety is ruining my life :(

[Loser_Lady902]

I've always had problems socially, being akward and not picking up on normal social cues. I look back at my life and realise I've always felt like this, some days are worse than others and those days I feel like lifes not worth living anymore. I did a lot of reading online and ice narrowed it down to social anxiety... It could be much worse though. I'm scared to find out and be treated. I don't want to be doped up with meds that will "help" me when they really don't . I'm trying so hard to fix this on my own but it's not working anymore. I quit smoking weed almost a year ago after I realised how much worse the problem is when I smoke it, and it helped a lot but not enough. I just want to be normal. I like myself I think I can be funny, I'm not bad looking, I'm not the smartest but I can laugh off a stupid remark and not be embarassed, I'm polite and kind,i just want to be able to interact properly with people Without panicking and I don't understand why it's such a problem for me I don't have many friends and the ones I do have seem to be pushing themselves away. I'm scared and I don't want to end up secluding myself from the world because I can't handle it, does anyone have any advice??

 

[Nina]

L_L902--
I know many folks rough it out with out meds, but many folks lives are vastly improved with them. I know a good many folks who attribute the right meds to, saving their lives. Not all the meds leave you, "doped up" and lethargic and numb, some have quite the opposite effect. Maybe search out some resources in your area where you could go in and discuss your feelings and some options available.

 

[Brian]

When I first came out of my shell, I volunteered with a local organization to facilitate it. I had (still have, depending on the circumstance) horrible social anxiety compounded by a good few years of seclusion that needed to be undone.

One thing that helped without making me dread interaction was controlling my 'exposure' to socialization. In other words, I would tell myself "Ok, it's 3 o'clock now. At 5 o'clock, I will use ______ reason to excuse myself."

This gets you out but lets you know there is an 'end', and hence reduces the anxiety. At least, it did for me.

Your reason doesn't have to be real. You can make something up as long as it's believable to whoever you're talking to. Underhanded? Yes. But sadly no one is going to understand when you tell them you're terrified of people and have to limit your dosage


Good friends will understand later down the road though, when you tell them that you used to have anxiety problems.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Coping With Anxiety and Panic

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.
2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.
3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.*
4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.
5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.
6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
7. Notice that when you stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.
8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.
9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.
10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no need to hurry.
11. Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties.

 

[bens]

If you do end up getting meds try and avoid Benzo e.g. diazepam, temazipam, though they might not give them out in the states.

I think you can rough it out though, I have similar panics (tho I dunno about SAD) in many/most social situations they're slowly improving through practice. Like you I have smoked a lot of weed in the past. Ive found that my probs are less pronounced after a long period off so obviously quitting entirely is far, far better.
I think you can improve through practice, maybe read up on a lot of funny things so youve at least got summat humourous to relate? If you find some ur prettysure will makeppl laugh then it might be easier to say? It might kick start ur sense of humour again which I think is massivley important in getting ppl to like you.

 

[mrmosaic]

I avoided meds for many years but decided to give them a try and sooo glad I did. Do I feel perfect now? NO But the has really moderated my moods. And I don't feel drugged up at all!! A bit sleepy for the first week or so but that passed as soon as my body adjusted.

Be educated about meds but don't discount them. They can be part of an overall management plan along with behavior/thought management.

 

[Sway]

For social interactions when you have social anxiety ... the term "my mind goes blank" when you can't think of what to say next is actually your body switching to the "fight or flee" mechanism which is the primitive survival mode...in a nutshell being able to speak doesn't help you when a bear comes to attack you ... you just GTFO... so your body severs the processing on communication. When you stop being afraid of socializing you'll naturally become better at it.

What helps is stuff like placing your self outside in the world... just a little bit to help you get accustomed to that fear. What Brian said about volunteering is really legit... it'll actually help you get better.

When I first came out of my shell, I volunteered with a local organization to facilitate it. I had (still have, depending on the circumstance) horrible social anxiety compounded by a good few years of seclusion that needed to be undone.

One thing that helped without making me dread interaction was controlling my 'exposure' to socialization. In other words, I would tell myself "Ok, it's 3 o'clock now. At 5 o'clock, I will use ______ reason to excuse myself."

I vouch for it too