Solitary's Mini Successes

[RJLJD]

I've never really understood the thing about asking for someone's number, anyway. It's something I've only seen happen on American TV shows. If someone I didn't really know (or knew at all) asked me for my number, I'd think he was insane.

not entirely out of the question, it happened to me twice this summer. and i didn't think either of them were insane. just to provide a different perspective.

i don't know how much longer you want to wait. i think its time to see if she wants to get together out of class, one-on-one. and don't get discouraged if she says no the first initial chance. be a little open minded, even creative.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

i don't know how much longer you want to wait. i think its time to see if she wants to get together out of class, one-on-one. and don't get discouraged if she says no the first initial chance. be a little open minded, even creative.

She came and sat with me in today's lesson. I managed to ask her some basic stuff and chat a bit. Was really tempted to ask her to coffee, but I didn't

I also rather rudely walked past her without saying bye afterwards, the shyness got a grip on me again.

Ah well. Was really happy she sat with me

 

[Equinox]

You snubbed her as you left?? Uh oh. Now you're doomed.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

You snubbed her as you left?? Uh oh. Now you're doomed.

Heheheh

Well, she bumped into me the other day, she was sort of walking nearby and nudged me. I apologised (I always apologise for everything, lol) and she said nothing, just kept staring straight ahead. So that was odd.

I think perhaps she wanted me to talk with her more, or get my attention. She was saying nothing, just sort of skulking around, so I started talking to another girl who actually addressed me.

Today she was sat on the end of the seating again, so I was half tempted to go over, but I had to sit with the people I was chatting to really or I would have seemed a bit rude. She looked at me a bit when I came in the room, then stopped.

So yeah, things remain "interesting"...

 

[meekthoughts]

It is seeming more and more like she is into you! But be careful, she might take all this as you not being interested or being difficult and could be put off. Next time you see her, definitely be more open about your interest if you can! "Interesting" is good... but "awesome" is better.

Good luck, as always!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

It is seeming more and more like she is into you! But be careful, she might take all this as you not being interested or being difficult and could be put off. Next time you see her, definitely be more open about your interest if you can! "Interesting" is good... but "awesome" is better.

Good luck, as always!

Thank you for your comments meek, helpful!

I'm hoping you're right. She's twisting my brain on a daily basis though. She crashed into me twice more today, but sort of ignored me when I smiled at her.

Both times were really weird too, I wasn't in the way (and if I was she could have just asked me to move), but instead she bumped into me twice in the same spot.

If she liked me I'd have thought she'd sort of smile or initiate conversation a bit, but she's just really quiet with me, while chatting constantly with the others.

Either she's totally shy with crushes like I am, or I'm just completely unattractive to her and getting in her way like a clumsy oaf

 

[meekthoughts]

I'd go with she's shy like you. I think for her, you smiling at her is not enough and she wants you to actually converse with her. She's giving you all these opportunities, so grab them like a madman.

I would suggest just blurting out "Would you like to have coffee with me?" the next time she bumps into you. Things can go either way from there depending on what she actually feels, but there's a good chance it'll turn out for the better based on your observations. Use up all your pent up nervousness and go! Don't hold me responsible for the results though.

 

[RJLJD]

dude, the whole bumping into you... i don't find it as run of the mill behavior. either play along with her, or talk to her. for real, i think this is legit.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

dude, the whole bumping into you... i don't find it as run of the mill behavior. either play along with her, or talk to her. for real, i think this is legit.

Planning to do a bit of both!

I'd go with she's shy like you. I think for her, you smiling at her is not enough and she wants you to actually converse with her. She's giving you all these opportunities, so grab them like a madman.

I would suggest just blurting out "Would you like to have coffee with me?" the next time she bumps into you. Things can go either way from there depending on what she actually feels, but there's a good chance it'll turn out for the better based on your observations. Use up all your pent up nervousness and go! Don't hold me responsible for the results though.

I'll try. There's a social meal thing coming up, I'm really nervous about it. I have hearing issues, I'm not sure if I should perhaps mention that to her?

One of my biggest fears is that I won't hear her say stuff actually, especially at something like a group meal or even on a lunch date or something.

I'm going to try and have coffee with her somewhere quiet ideally. I'm not quite sure what to say to her if she accepts though

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

So, I've decided next time I see this girl, I'm going to walk up and kind of physically get her attention. Maybe just brush her shoulder casually or something.

If she gives me a disgusted look I'll know where I stand

 

[meekthoughts]

Hope things go well! Make sure to make it a tad bit obvious too. Give her the most cheesiest smile you can muster. Waiting for good news.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Well, I'm afraid I still haven't cheesily smiled yet

Interesting things have happened, however. First of all, I got a really intense grin from a ridiculously pretty girl when I was walking into work today.

Unfortunately I don't know who said girl was, only that she had lovely red hair, a gorgeous face and gave me a really sweet smile when I walked past. Chalk that up as another "amazing girl who I'll never actually meet properly due to fate"

Anyway, the girl gave me a really long stare yesterday. Really odd. I was putting my coat on after a lesson, thought she was looking over and when I looked up she was staring right at me. Sort of neutral facial expression.

I had a wall behind me, so it must've been me that the stare was focussed on. After that I made an effort to sit with her (she said hi but nothing else!).

Today I managed to have a good talk and make her laugh a bit, unfortunately my hearing let me down a couple of times so that was a little embarrassing (mostly in my head though I think). Just kind of happy I went over and talked, but as usual things remain in equilibrium

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

After (sort of) resolving the long-running situation with that particular lady, I'm now sure she liked me, so that's cool even if I remain unhugged

I think I've decided to sort of stop actively pursuing a relationship for a while. See if I can last 6 months without spending all day thinking about it. In the mean time, I'm just going to continue smiling at girls I like for those little happiness boosting moments

Of which, actually, I've had a whole lot since my last post. So that's some consolation

I was sat at this table on my own just drinking my coffee yesterday when these two random girls came in. They were both very pretty indeed. Anyway, they came over and one gave me this really awesome smile and even looked like she was going to say something. I was thinking to myself "I'll say hi actually, it can't hurt."

Then her friend said: "Awww, there's no seats around here. C'mon, we'll have to head off." Disappointment!

In the same room later on there was a cute lady on a laptop that was glancing at me all the time, and she looked all embarrassed (and distinctly huggable) when I grinned. So that was cool.

Last week I was in an adjacent science block when I bumped into this tall red-haired lady (another one!) who did the cheeky grin thing when she saw me fiddling with my hair. Then she skipped down some stairs and disappeared. Still, she was probably a Physicist, so bleurgh

What's weird is that I keep bumping into all these unknown girls that give me a really attention-grabbing sort of signal. Usually it's a big smile for no reason, or staring into my eyes. But if I actually had time to get to know them, I don't think they would do that.

Anyway, as 'Nox pointed out in the other thread, smiles and stuff usually mean nothing. So I won't take it all to heart. At least it feels like I'm not some kind of complete ogre though

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Right, sorry for the triple post, but this was kinda a "diary thread" anyway

I've decided two things:

1. I am going to make my affections for girls obvious if I sense they like me too. I'm talking about more hugging and warmth instead of me deciding that is inappropriate. Everyone likes a good hug, right?

2. I'm going to make a sincere effort to just talk more to people. I'm quite quiet, so I'm gonna really try to be a bit more interactive and more assertive in conversation.

Anyway, token positive success: I have a very pretty girl being flirty at the moment it would seem. It's a new and genuinely pleasant experience!

However, sadly I don't think she'd make a great partner for me personally, so I'm going to see how it goes and perhaps discuss that with her if she gets any more serious.

I shall see how Operation Moarhugz goes, and post up if it brings a new sense of belonging into my life

 

[Ak5]

Good luck Solitary Man XD

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Good luck Solitary Man XD

Cheers AK. I'll be back at work in a week. More opportunities to hang out with the ladies and try my new "actually flirting back" policy!

I'm starting to realise I really enjoy talking to people at Uni, both guys and girls. So perhaps I'm not the social outcast I envision myself as. I hope not.

---

Anyway, something super awesome happened yesterday, got a huge confidence boost. A new shirt arrived as a late Christmas gift. It was a size down from my old shirts and also looked like it was meant to fit without much bagginess at all.

I put it on, it felt a bit tight around my chest and arms. Looked in the mirror with the usual apprehensive horror and to my surprise saw that it actually looked good!

Me + tight shirt + looking positive is a whole new world. Felt like a different person, actually. Undoubtedly the first time in my entire life that I have ever felt confident in my appearance...and actually a bit sexy

I'm still not exactly Hercules of course and some areas of my body need improvement. Nonetheless, it's so nice to see hard work paying off, amazing the difference it has made in me

Hoping by summer I can cut any flab that's left and get myself some mildly lumpy six-pack-ish abs. Not grotesque fake-looking ones that you see in exercise promotions, just kinda nice, slight ripples

I also asked a pleasant girl out to coffee online, just as a friend really. She said she was busy, which was unfortunate, but then replied asking if I'm free this coming week. So I guess that's good? I feel more social for doing that, anyway.

Feeling positive!

 

[jjam]

^I know that feeling, bro. I hit the gym 5 days a week. It is paying off. I "just" need to eat a lot more than I do (and of the good stuff, of course).

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

^I know that feeling, bro. I hit the gym 5 days a week. It is paying off. I "just" need to eat a lot more than I do (and of the good stuff, of course).

I'd say it's the eating that's hardest, for me anyway. I've been eating junkier foods lately, not made any impact on me fortunately, but I want to get back into the habit of snacking on fruit if anything.

Glad you too are seeing the benefits of all that work!

---

Well, some odd but really pleasing things happened today. It was my first day back at Uni after the Christmas hols.

Firstly, I had a girl come and sit at a table with me in the bar when I was working. I didn't know her at all, but she got her work out too and then ordered a meal.

I felt kind of bad for not saying hi. Usually people don't even bother with me when I'm sat on my own with no friends about, so a total stranger coming over like that was odd yet pleasant

I think if it ever happens again I'll try my hardest to at least say hello! I didn't really want to interrupt her if she was waiting for someone, but she wasn't in the end.

Secondly, later in the day I held a door open for some more unknown ladies on my way to lectures and one whispered to her friend that I looked "fit".

It was like she wanted me to hear her say it though, it wasn't a very subtle whisper. Got a nice smile from her too

Was really blown away to be honest, never in my wildest dreams expected to hear that sort of positive comment directed towards me!

---

Really great start to the term, for the first time in years my work is planned out well and today's events have perhaps given me some confidence that I've been lacking for a long, long time

 

[Ak5]

Good for you Solitary!

I'd be bustling with confidence as well if a chick told me I was fit and attractive. Making me jealous lol

I ate a lot of food in my vacation to Europe so I got home feeling kind of upset that I indulged a lot. You and I are similar, we're working to get that coveted six-pack. By reading everything you've posted, you're well on your way! Good luck.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Good for you Solitary!

I'd be bustling with confidence as well if a chick told me I was fit and attractive. Making me jealous lol

I ate a lot of food in my vacation to Europe so I got home feeling kind of upset that I indulged a lot. You and I are similar, we're working to get that coveted six-pack. By reading everything you've posted, you're well on your way! Good luck.

Thanks AK! I'm sure plenty of ladies will voice positive things about you too in future

Yes, just gotta get this darned work done and get back on my exercycle I think. On the home free stretch now, just got to keep my motivation up...

A girl arranged a meeting with me for next week today. I wouldn't be as presumptuous as to say she "asked me out" (it's probably non-romantic in intention), but she is strangely keen on talking to me. Judging by her past behaviour, I'd say she was previously attracted to me, but I'm not sure now.

Very confusing! I'm also not sure if I'm right for her if she feels that way.

We shall see what happens in a few days' time though, I'm looking forward to just seeing a lady outside of the typical work setting ^^

I was also pleasantly surprised that I had the guts to interact with her about it all. I just hope I'm not making a mistake by potentially opening up to someone a little :\