Someone likes me? Really?

[Locke]

An acquaintance recently told me that the girl at the shop down the street keeps asking about me. I found it kind of hard to believe - I hardly ever leave my house, and when I do I make it a point to avoid people.

But the other day I had to leave. Curiosity, or maybe a need for human contact...something made me go in to that shop. The girl was there, and within minutes she made it obvious that she was interested in me. I didn't know how to react, I don't know how to act around any people, so I left after a few minutes.

A couple days later I had to go to the bank. The place was packed, and with all of those people around, I felt an anxiety attack building up. I stood in the shortest line. The bank teller was pretty, with long red hair and green eyes. I had talked to her before, but not much. That day, as usual I was too preoccupied with trying to get out of there to pay much attention to what she looked like or what she said. I left the bank and looked through the paperwork she gave me. Her personal number with the words "call me" were written on a note. Trying to remember what she had said, I realise that she was trying to flirt with me.

What I don't understand is why? A few years back, before my life turned to honeysuckle, I wouldn't have been surprised. I was never a lady's man or whatever, but I usually had a girlfriend. But the person I was is gone. I'm not even a shadow of the man I once was. People who knew me before wouldn't even recognise me now.

So why is it that two beautiful women see something in me that I don't see in myself? I'm not charming, talkative or confident. Are they just desperate? Maybe they're both attracted to crazy people? Part of me hopes that its a sign that I"m getting better, but I honestly don't know.

I am tired of being alone. A lot of that is because I hate myself so much. But I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to see someone laugh at a lame joke I tell, or get a call from someone who justs wants to know how my day was. The problem is that I'm still crazy. I still have panic attacks, endless nightmares, and I still hate myself. Would it be fair to a girl if I got involved with her while I still have so much baggage? I don't think it would be. Or maybe I'm just afraid.

Sorry for the extra long post, I needed to talk about this.

 

[Aihpames]

Hey, Locke

Firstly, don't try and look for holes in why a girl (or two girls!) might be interested in you... The fact is, for whatever reason, they are. They might see things in you that you don't see in yourself - you might look in the mirror (like a lot of us here do, I'm sure) sometimes, and not like the face that's looking back at you, but they'll see what they consider to be a beautiful, innocent young man.

If someone wants to get involved with you, then let them on one condition... You have to try and be open and respectful towards her. I'm not saying sit her down before you go on your first date, and tell her every little intricate detail about your issues, but if she asks something, just try and open up to her - you'll feel more at ease, knowing that she understands, and she'll possibly feel like she can help you. If you can control your mood around her (only to the extent that you don't mentally or physically lash out, I understand you can still get upset over things), you'll grow together over time, and things will improve.

Last thing would be, don't be disheartened. If you give it a go with someone, but it doesn't quite work out, it's not the end of the world! Just chalk it down to experience. That being said, give it your best shot. Get up every morning, have a nice breakfast, a quick wash, look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself you deserve to be happy - because you, like everyone else, deserves that.

 

[Edward W]

^ Yeah, what he said!

 

[perfanoff]

It's possible you're simply very good-looking.

 

[Blue_Eyed_Symphony]

maybe she wants to jump your bones.
No complaints

 

[Locke]

perfanoff,
I don't think so. Good looking people don't have to worry as much about being crazy, do they? Besides, I haven't had a girl flirt with me in years. Wouldn't this have happened sooner if I really were that good looking?

Thanks for the advice, Aihpames.

I'll go back today and talk to the shop girl and at least try and get to know her. I'd never physically lash out at anyone, but the possibly of having an anxiety attack and blacking out is kind of scary.

I'm also not sure how to be open and honest about this kind of thing. Honestly, I have no idea. This is how I picture the conversation going:

Girl: "So how come I don't see you around much?"
Me: " Well, see.... I'm scard to death of people, and I never leave my house. Think of a cartoon turtle hiding in its shell. That's me."
Girl leaves.

I don't believe that I deserve happiness, though I appreciate you saying so, but what do I have to lose? I can consider it experience like you said. Even if it ends badly, maybe I'll learn something from it. Maybe if I'm ever lucky enough to have someone interested in me again, I'll do better.

Thanks again for taking the time to talk. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go practice a conversation for the next few hours, then build up the courage to walk half a mile down the street. Wish me luck.

 

[Aihpames]

Don't need luck Just be yourself. If she does ask that, maybe try and avoid going all in straight away... Just tell her you're a little shy, or something.

See, happiness is a strange thing... I don't feel I deserve it, but then I look at millions of people who are without doubt LESS deserving than what I am, yet have it in droves. If they can be happy, stuff it, we can be too. Keep your pecker up, dude (although don't go out with it up... She might run away).

 

[perfanoff]

I just don't see on what other basis two different women can be attracted enough to you with minimal communication.

Anyway, it's not going to end up badly because she has already made it clear she likes you. Go get her, tiger!
(it might help if you go there after talking or hanging out with family/friends/whatever so you switch a social setting with another setting so you don't have to remember how to speak )

 

[Locke]

I just don't see on what other basis two different women can be attracted enough to you with minimal communication.

Anyway, it's not going to end up badly because she has already made it clear she likes you. Go get her, tiger!
(it might help if you go there after talking or hanging out with family/friends/whatever so you switch a social setting with another setting so you don't have to remember how to speak )

I have no idea. Seriously. Maybe they think I'm dark and mysterious, when I'm actually just scared and tired? Anyway, that's good advice about talking to people I know first. I don't have friends or family, but I can jump on XBL or PSN for a couple hours and talk to people while gaming. I already feel a little calmer talking to you guys, so it might help.

 

[Evil_Genius]

Maybe for the briefest moments while you were distracted with the mundane and everyday, you went onto auto pilot and you forgot to put up the 'I'm an echo of myself' routine and the real you actually got a chance to go for a walk and people liked it.

Go you.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

Two women showing obvious interest?.....I wish I had this issue.

 

[Aihpames]

Two women showing obvious interest?.....I wish I had this issue.

Haha, yeah... I can imagine worse things

 

[Gutted]

My friend, I would honestly go for it. If you don't, you make kick yourself for it one day. A woman might be the patch to your bug.

 

[msbxa]

Girl: "So how come I don't see you around much?"
Me: " Well, see.... I'm scard to death of people, and I never leave my house. Think of a cartoon turtle hiding in its shell. That's me."
Girl leaves.

When I read this statement, does anyone have any idea of the things that went through my mind? Does anyone see this how I see it?
I know this is a hypothetical scenario... but is this in fact an accurate outcome of the way typical women are?
If so all I can really say is wow...
I find it hard to explain, but basically it screams to me that girls like this are fake, disloyal, distrusting, a turncoat, ignorant, among other things.

 

[perfanoff]

No, just no.

A fake, disloyal etc person is someone that has to have MADE A COMMITMENT to you.

Asking somebody a question is nothing like that !

 

[Locke]

Girl: "So how come I don't see you around much?"
Me: " Well, see.... I'm scard to death of people, and I never leave my house. Think of a cartoon turtle hiding in its shell. That's me."
Girl leaves.

When I read this statement, does anyone have any idea of the things that went through my mind? Does anyone see this how I see it?
I know this is a hypothetical scenario... but is this in fact an accurate outcome of the way typical women are?
If so all I can really say is wow...
I find it hard to explain, but basically it screams to me that girls like this are fake, disloyal, distrusting, a turncoat, ignorant, among other things.

No. I wouldn't blame her if she did react that way. There is only so much crazy you can let loose on someone you barely know before thet leave.

Two women showing obvious interest?.....I wish I had this issue.

Haha, yeah... I can imagine worse things

I can imagine worse things too. That cartoon turtle scenario was the least of what I was imagining.

 

[Felix]

Go for it, everyone has baggage, they might be as crazy as you're

 

[perfanoff]

Go for it, everyone has baggage, they might be as crazy as you're

Reminds me of a movie I recently watched

 

[Aihpames]

Did you go down and meet her?

 

[Revengineer]

Thanks a lot Locke, that story about the bank teller got "Call Me Maybe" stuck in my head again

Unexpected opportunities for new experiences can be a real blessing if you're feeling stuck at a point in life. Make the most of it and have some fun! Hopefully your conversation went well?