Something screwed up happened...

[Locke]

A couple of weeks ago I was studying in the student lounge on my lunch break. I was almost done though, and figured I'd finish when I got home. I decided to people watch, just to kill time until my next class. There weren't very many people there: It's a small branch campus, and there aren't many students taking classes during summer. There was a girl sitting a few tables away from me. She had a book the size of "War and Peace" open on the table beside her, and she was typing on her laptop. She was obviously very busy, just like the couple of other people in the lounge.

In walks this guy. He was in his late 20's I'd guess, wasn't carrying any books or anything. He scanned the room, ordered a drink and sat down at the girl's table. I figured they were friends, and I went back to staring at my own book and looking around the room. A couple of minutes went by and I heard them talking. I don't remember what the guy was saying, but he was trying to flirt with her. She let him down easy and told him she was busy and didn't have time to talk, but he wouldn't give up. He asked her for her phone number, and she said something like "not right now, I need to study for this exam" (something along those lines). He said "It's okay, I'll wait here until you're done", and he continued to flirt with her. It got to be a little creepy. She became upset, told him she wasn't interested, and asked him to go away.

You'd think that would be enough of a hint, right? It wasn't, the guy didn't budge. I got up from my table, ready to walk over there and tell him to **** off. A security guard walked in before I could, went to the table and talked to them. The situation ended with the guard marching the guy out of the lounge. I shrugged the whole thing off and forgot all about it. Until today...

I was running late, rushing to class past the library, when I saw another security guard escorting the same guy away. I stopped and talked to a security guard who was standing there, and I told him about the guy harassing someone a couple of weeks ago. The security guard told me that this was the third time the guy had been caught harassing women. It turns out that the creep doesn't even go to college there, he just shows up to try and pick up women, I guess.

The whole thing is just bizarre. Why do people do crap like that? A college is kind of a bad place to flirt with women, especially if you don't go there. It's not a bar or something, people are there to learn. I guess it's fine if you get to know someone or share a class with them. But just wandering in and inviting yourself to some girl's table? The girl was very polite in her rejections at first, but she did flat-out reject him over and over again.

The dude is probably just crazy, but I've seen this kind of behavior before. Not every day or anything, but I've witnessed it at former jobs, bars (although I've only been to a few), busses. In fact, I'd bet that almost every woman who has used public transpiration (at least in the US) has had something like that happen. My aunt was on some online chat service a couple of months ago (chat roulette I think, but I donno) and almost every message she received was creepy! I don't know why people do stuff like that, but there are a lot of crazies out there. I don't blame women for being cautious sometimes.

It's a shame I need to say this, but this thread isn't aimed at or directed towards anyone here on ALL. The thread isn't about anyone specific, not even the guy who was harassing girls at school. This kind of thing confuses and creeps me out whenever I see it. It's mostly a rant.

 

[Dexter]

Hard to say why some people are acting like this. I guess there can be several reasons for that.

You already mentioned one, maybe they are just crazy. One thing I could imagine is that someone who is acting this way and isn't accepting a no, is someone who is a selfish person with a huge ego. They only care about themselves and don't care much for the person they are trying to flirt with. They think they are the best and no matter what, they will try everything in order to "get" her. I think they can't accept rejection and therefor are continuing with their flirting approach. It could be somekind of macho behaviour.

Concerning the creepy messages someone might recevie during online chatting. Maybe the people writing these messages don't know how to do it better. I think in most cases they don't even realize themselves that the message they wrote are creepy and they didn't even have the intention to be creepy.

I have no idea how accurate my assumptions are, that are just some initial thoughts I had.

 

[Triple Bogey]

A couple of weeks ago I was studying in the student lounge on my lunch break. I was almost done though, and figured I'd finish when I got home. I decided to people watch, just to kill time until my next class. There weren't very many people there: It's a small branch campus, and there aren't many students taking classes during summer. There was a girl sitting a few tables away from me. She had a book the size of "War and Peace" open on the table beside her, and she was typing on her laptop. She was obviously very busy, just like the couple of other people in the lounge.

In walks this guy. He was in his late 20's I'd guess, wasn't carrying any books or anything. He scanned the room, ordered a drink and sat down at the girl's table. I figured they were friends, and I went back to staring at my own book and looking around the room. A couple of minutes went by and I heard them talking. I don't remember what the guy was saying, but he was trying to flirt with her. She let him down easy and told him she was busy and didn't have time to talk, but he wouldn't give up. He asked her for her phone number, and she said something like "not right now, I need to study for this exam" (something along those lines). He said "It's okay, I'll wait here until you're done", and he continued to flirt with her. It got to be a little creepy. She became upset, told him she wasn't interested, and asked him to go away.

You'd think that would be enough of a hint, right? It wasn't, the guy didn't budge. I got up from my table, ready to walk over there and tell him to **** off. A security guard walked in before I could, went to the table and talked to them. The situation ended with the guard marching the guy out of the lounge. I shrugged the whole thing off and forgot all about it. Until today...

I was running late, rushing to class past the library, when I saw another security guard escorting the same guy away. I stopped and talked to a security guard who was standing there, and I told him about the guy harassing someone a couple of weeks ago. The security guard told me that this was the third time the guy had been caught harassing women. It turns out that the creep doesn't even go to college there, he just shows up to try and pick up women, I guess.

The whole thing is just bizarre. Why do people do crap like that? A college is kind of a bad place to flirt with women, especially if you don't go there. It's not a bar or something, people are there to learn. I guess it's fine if you get to know someone or share a class with them. But just wandering in and inviting yourself to some girl's table? The girl was very polite in her rejections at first, but she did flat-out reject him over and over again.

The dude is probably just crazy, but I've seen this kind of behavior before. Not every day or anything, but I've witnessed it at former jobs, bars (although I've only been to a few), busses. In fact, I'd bet that almost every woman who has used public transpiration (at least in the US) has had something like that happen. My aunt was on some online chat service a couple of months ago (chat roulette I think, but I donno) and almost every message she received was creepy! I don't know why people do stuff like that, but there are a lot of crazies out there. I don't blame women for being cautious sometimes.

It's a shame I need to say this, but this thread isn't aimed at or directed towards anyone here on ALL. The thread isn't about anyone specific, not even the guy who was harassing girls at school. This kind of thing confuses and creeps me out whenever I see it. It's mostly a rant.

I have seen that kind of behaviour in pubs and clubs. I think they do it because it sometimes works. However wrong it is.

 

[ladyforsaken]

That is really something.. I guess some people just don't ever give up. But this is indeed rather creepy. :\

 

[Locke]

Hard to say why some people are acting like this. I guess there can be several reasons for that.

You already mentioned one, maybe they are just crazy. One thing I could imagine is that someone who is acting this way and isn't accepting a no, is someone who is a selfish person with a huge ego. They only care about themselves and don't care much for the person they are trying to flirt with. They think they are the best and no matter what, they will try everything in order to "get" her. I think they can't accept rejection and therefor are continuing with their flirting approach. It could be somekind of macho behaviour.

Concerning the creepy messages someone might recevie during online chatting. Maybe the people writing these messages don't know how to do it better. I think in most cases they don't even realize themselves that the message they wrote are creepy and they didn't even have the intention to be creepy.

I have no idea how accurate my assumptions are, that are just some initial thoughts I had.

I think you're probably right, and ego, selfishness and machismo does play a role in it. The girl looked scared, a little panicked and annoyed. I felt bad for her. Men who do crap like that don't have any consideration for someone's feelings. Sometimes I wonder if they even think of women as people.

I don't buy it that people who write creepy messages on chat or dating sites don't know any better though: They were asking for naked pics without saying much else. They told her things like "Lets meet tonight and f**k". They called her a ***** and worse when she refused or didn't respond. Keep in mind this wasn't a dating site or anything like that, it was a casual chat site. Message after message was like that. I've heard and seen similar things from other women. I think being anonymous gives some guys a reason to show the world that they're misogynistic morons. I guess that's just the internet for you though.

I have seen that kind of behavior in pubs and clubs. I think they do it because it sometimes works. However wrong it is.

I've never seen it work. It's pretty sad if bullying a girl to talk and give out her phone number ever does work. Maybe some women feel intimidated, and give out their numbers just to get away.

That is really something.. I guess some people just don't ever give up. But this is indeed rather creepy. :\

Yeah, it creeps me out because it's like he's hunting women. It makes me wonder if he'll hurt someone someday. I wonder if loneliness or desperation causes people to lose their minds sometimes, and do things like that. It's not an excuse - there is no excuse - I just wish I understood why people do awful crap like that.

 

[VanillaCreme]

That is really something.. I guess some people just don't ever give up. But this is indeed rather creepy. :\

Yeah, it creeps me out because it's like he's hunting women. It makes me wonder if he'll hurt someone someday. I wonder if loneliness or desperation causes people to lose their minds sometimes, and do things like that. It's not an excuse - there is no excuse - I just wish I understood why people do awful crap like that.

It may not even be loneliness. Some people see the whole dating thing and asking folks out as a game. It may just be a hunting game to him. Still sad either way. I wouldn't waste my time if someone turned me down.

 

[Case]

This guy might have narcissistic personality disorder, which can be defined as "a lack of empathy and an unwillingness or inability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others."

That seems to apply, but I wasn't there, so I can't say for sure.

 

[Tealeaf]

We had someone similar at a retail position I used to work, though he was a customer there. He was in the habit of following me around trying to make small talk and "get to know" me when I was obviously busy, talking into the walkie, or trying to coordinate in the store. No way to tell him to go fresia himself on a cucumber when he's in the position of customer, either, not unless I wanted to risk a reprimand from the higher-ups. I was kind of forced into interaction with him and had to try to balance not being rude with anything else I had to do.

I do believe these men are aware of what they're doing, by the way. I had the delightful opportunity to talk to a member of an older forum who told me all about his sexual relationships with his plush toys and later saw him complaining on the main forum that women were mean and would never talk to him. He was smart enough to not include the part of the story where he rambled on about his fetish while women told him they didn't want to hear it - that wouldn't have garnered as much sympathy.

 

[Locke]

It may not even be loneliness. Some people see the whole dating thing and asking folks out as a game. It may just be a hunting game to him. Still sad either way. I wouldn't waste my time if someone turned me down.

Could be... it sucks when people treat something that should be intimate and personal as a game.

This guy might have narcissistic personality disorder, which can be defined as "a lack of empathy and an unwillingness or inability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others."

I'm not all that familiar with the disorder, but that's kind of what I was wondering when I asked if loneliness can drive people a little crazy and cause them to do things like that. Maybe the anger and bitterness builds up to such a degree that they are no longer willing to consider anyones feelings except for their own. I've come across lonely guys who were alone for so long that they began to blame women for all their problems, and even started to hate the opposite sex.

I just think that people sometimes look for scapegoats. Certain thought patterns begin to emerge and take over, and it's hard for them to want to consider anyone's feelings or thoughts.

I hope that makes sense, I've had a really long day and I'm very tired. It could also be that they don't have the ability to feel empathy for others, like you said.

I do believe these men are aware of what they're doing, by the way. I had the delightful opportunity to talk to a member of an older forum who told me all about his sexual relationships with his plush toys and later saw him complaining on the main forum that women were mean and would never talk to him. He was smart enough to not include the part of the story where he rambled on about his fetish while women told him they didn't want to hear it - that wouldn't have garnered as much sympathy.

Lol....ewww!

I try to not judge, but...ewww! Sorry. He probably should have been on a furry forum, where he could have been honest and received sympathetic feedback. Any sympathy he received probably didn't do much good in the long run, since he was being dishonest.