LonelySutton
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 10, 2014
- Messages
- 721
- Reaction score
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So a few months back I wrote about how I was 8 weeks away from leaving my abusive boss. Within 4 weeks, I had left him, I had a new boss, AND that boss was great. Is great. And the people he selected for his work-group are great. I still am getting adjusted to things such as:
- being asked my opinion.
- being allowed to work at my pace.
- being allowed to joke with my boss and say things like, "are you messing with me?"
- being able to leave work when I so choose.
- being able to leave my desk.
- not complaining all day.
- having my boss do things a particular way because they will be easier for me.
- not haivng my co workers find mistakes of mine and run to my boss -- FIRST.
- being allowed to pick up my phone or not as I so choose.
It has been 6 months and I do fear that sort of like an abused woman, it will take months to really start to relax from the hyper vigilance. I do plan on staying for a few years just to give myself a chance to heal and also, prove my worth.
But, I find a simple, sad truth has captured my heart... working sucks. Working is wage slavery. I have been noticing lately the way "something" seems to pit all the wage slaves against themselves. When I leave my workplace at night, there is a LONG traffic jam to get out of town. The subway it is packed, too packed and people have to fight to get on. Then, the train is packed too packed,, and we have to fight to get on. I do feel like there is an elite that *could* fix this, but don't want to... probably for their own enrichment. BTW I just watched a TV show "Mr. Robot" that wrote this into the plot so, I don't feel so crazy.
I feel like I am falling behind financially. Again this year with a 1% raise. The thing is, costs are just outpacing that to insane degrees. Everything I pay for goes up substantially yearly, but not my pay. Though I do get to leave more easy these days... my transportation has become more unreliable. So I leave 1/2 hour earlier and I get home at the same time.
A weird thing too, as I got a boss who doesn't ride me, I am completely unmotivated to do much at all. It is still an odd situation where I feel like I have to be ready at all times, but then don't do anything at all. Hopefully this will go away soon. But I can't help but think about how much more joy and motivation I would get if what I was working on would reward me directly.
I am still struggling with it because if I stay a few more years, I will be just like a few years from qualifying for a pension so, it would be silly to give up then. Sometimes I wish something would happen that would push me.
I do have to take back what I said. I had thought that merit wasn't rewarded. And, it wasn't. But I think *something* happened in my workplace. I think there was a rebellion of some sort. Two people got jobs that were not qualified and they did a horrible job. And I think either a manager or someone in charge objected and there was a sea change. Suddenly people who were qualified (and couldn't get hired to save their lives) got the jobs -- good jobs -- without interviewing. I was one of them. And a lot of people said AMAZING things to me that made me think my efforts and talent was recognized. I do not understand why, when I worked for my abusive boss no one would hire me, but it is in the past now. But of course, this makes me consider leaving or getting another job because I do feel like now, I have a reasonable shot at a better job. Or, if I wanted to start my own business I could succeed because I do feel like I could...
All of these things do make it hard to get up every day to the rat race.
- being asked my opinion.
- being allowed to work at my pace.
- being allowed to joke with my boss and say things like, "are you messing with me?"
- being able to leave work when I so choose.
- being able to leave my desk.
- not complaining all day.
- having my boss do things a particular way because they will be easier for me.
- not haivng my co workers find mistakes of mine and run to my boss -- FIRST.
- being allowed to pick up my phone or not as I so choose.
It has been 6 months and I do fear that sort of like an abused woman, it will take months to really start to relax from the hyper vigilance. I do plan on staying for a few years just to give myself a chance to heal and also, prove my worth.
But, I find a simple, sad truth has captured my heart... working sucks. Working is wage slavery. I have been noticing lately the way "something" seems to pit all the wage slaves against themselves. When I leave my workplace at night, there is a LONG traffic jam to get out of town. The subway it is packed, too packed and people have to fight to get on. Then, the train is packed too packed,, and we have to fight to get on. I do feel like there is an elite that *could* fix this, but don't want to... probably for their own enrichment. BTW I just watched a TV show "Mr. Robot" that wrote this into the plot so, I don't feel so crazy.
I feel like I am falling behind financially. Again this year with a 1% raise. The thing is, costs are just outpacing that to insane degrees. Everything I pay for goes up substantially yearly, but not my pay. Though I do get to leave more easy these days... my transportation has become more unreliable. So I leave 1/2 hour earlier and I get home at the same time.
A weird thing too, as I got a boss who doesn't ride me, I am completely unmotivated to do much at all. It is still an odd situation where I feel like I have to be ready at all times, but then don't do anything at all. Hopefully this will go away soon. But I can't help but think about how much more joy and motivation I would get if what I was working on would reward me directly.
I am still struggling with it because if I stay a few more years, I will be just like a few years from qualifying for a pension so, it would be silly to give up then. Sometimes I wish something would happen that would push me.
I do have to take back what I said. I had thought that merit wasn't rewarded. And, it wasn't. But I think *something* happened in my workplace. I think there was a rebellion of some sort. Two people got jobs that were not qualified and they did a horrible job. And I think either a manager or someone in charge objected and there was a sea change. Suddenly people who were qualified (and couldn't get hired to save their lives) got the jobs -- good jobs -- without interviewing. I was one of them. And a lot of people said AMAZING things to me that made me think my efforts and talent was recognized. I do not understand why, when I worked for my abusive boss no one would hire me, but it is in the past now. But of course, this makes me consider leaving or getting another job because I do feel like now, I have a reasonable shot at a better job. Or, if I wanted to start my own business I could succeed because I do feel like I could...
All of these things do make it hard to get up every day to the rat race.