Still don't like kissing/being close

[futurecatlady]

So here's the deal: I'm 24 and I had my first kiss a few months ago. I've been kissed twice since then, and all three times I kind of didn't like it. It wasn't awful or gross, just kind of boring and I was waiting for it to end.

I have, for so long, imagined what it might be like to kiss someone. I thought it would transcend the actual physical experience in some way, "fireworks" if you will, but really it just feels like exactly what it is. I really liked both the guys I've kissed, and I wanted something to happen between us, but when the moment came I just wasn't feeling it. Even sitting close to them and knowing they were about to kiss me, I didn't feel butterflies or anything. The closest word I can think of to describe what I felt is--dread.

I am really disappointed that I feel this way, because I want to enjoy it all, and I want it to be fun. I really, really hope it is a temporary thing that exists because of some intimacy issues that I might have (probably due to being single and unintentionally chaste for so long) and not that I am inherently incapable of being excited by a kiss. Is this normal? Have any of your heard of/experienced this?

 

[perfanoff]

I am sure it is a part of you not being totally comfortable with intimacy and that it's definitely normal!

For me it is more the idea of being intimate that makes a kiss enjoyable. I suppose once you let yourself go and feel that way for a guy, then you would also enjoy the moment. No fear!

Also, just a bit jealous.

 

[Barbaloot]

It's not abnormal. Not everyone likes kissing. Also sometimes you're just not kissing the right person.
I've personally never liked kissing, but it isn't anything to do with intimacy issues. I've just simply always found it boring, unexciting and much prefer to do other things, or only use it to lead to other things...

 

[2fresh4youx]

Kind of felt like this when I kissed my first and only girlfriend. She made the move, but I felt like I was being attacked or something. She came on strong. And yeah, that and many for many kisses afterwards, didn't feel special or anything. It must have been the wrong girl. And in your case, if must have been the wrong guy. If you say that you have intimacy problems, I think you need to work on these before dating again. That way, it'll be much clearer to you if you're into someone or not.

 

[MissGuided]

Also sometimes you're just not kissing the right person.

I agree with Barb....there are 'fireworks' with the right person.

You know the old saying, 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince' - you will get those butterflies when you find him.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Hype disappoints.

 

[Okiedokes]

When the fear is gone and you feel completely comfortable and in love with the person..then it's good. Anytime I was nervous or not in the mood...no thx k thx is what it was like.

 

[Thomas]]

It could indeed perhaps just be not the right people, but also that you just don't like it in general. Barbaloot hits the nail on the head!

I know it's easy to say, but try not to think about it as good or bad before it happens... just let it happen xD And you might feel different!

 

[In a lonely place]

I think you're lucky to get a kiss, I waited and waited for my first one and YES it was worth it. Now just gotta find someone who wants to kiss ALL DAY!

 

[kamya]

I'm the opposite of most people then I guess. I love kissing It's fun and feels really good to me.

 

[Felix]

I like kissing almost as much as sex... Some people just don't have nice mouths tough...