Hi Vickie, nice to hear for you again.
I've using the LETTING GO or Releasing technique and it's helping me.
It just takes some pratace and applications.
The more I pratice doing it ...The less I hold on.
Even if i do get thoughts of my ex...they're not emotionally overwhemling.
I just accept that i love her (becuase i do/, not figuring out why i love her).
It passes through me or I let go....I don't beat up myself over it.
Then I simply move on to other thoughts or feelings. (this becomes natural)
Here are some of the suggestions or steps.....
Can you allow yourself not to try to figure it out ?
(when you're trying to figure it out you're thinking about it, therefore still holding on)
Allow yourself to accept things as they are in this moment ?
Embrace your feelings as they are...then simply LET GO or DROP IT. (what you resist...persist)
In other words..try to be transparent to you pain or losts...allow it to go through you.
If i feel like crying...I allow myself to do so as the feelings passes through me.
I don't hold back the tears. I feel better after a good cry anyway.
Sometimes I write and talk to people...Talking to people is another process of letting things out
or letting go.
Writing in my journal helps...It might bring up a lot of emotions but by doing so, I'm releasing and letting go.
I just don't write of why I love her.
I write about my fears of living without her.
My feelings anger towards her.
My feelings lust for her..
My feelings or rejections
My feelings of wanting to control her or wanting to be controled by her
My feelings or grieving of losing her..
Bascailly everything..
All of my thoughts and feelings for her are down on paper...so i just leave it there and not think or worry about it
anymore. This way I don't carry emotional (good and bad) baggages around all day or carry it into the next relationship.
Kind of like being emotionally a virgin again..