Taking your girl to the clubs

[mr p]

Hello!
So this is about taking your girl out to the clubs when you're not equipped with the highest social intelligence.
My girl (of 1.5 months, also my first real relationship. I'm 22) and I went to a nightclub >two weeks after we met. We got pretty drunk, I was aware of my surroundings but she had a hard time standing. Bad idea! Anyway. The night was really fun until we sat down at a table where one of her friends was. At the table was also another guy, who immediately started hitting on her; to me it was pretty obvious. He was a very smooth guy. All the while I was just sitting there, pretending to be in the conversation. I felt helpless, and I sometimes just suck at conversation, like at that time.
I sensed there were rapport building, and when we left I heard him call out her name but I pretended like nothing. Tried to rush away as fast as possible, really. It was awful, makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Anyway. How can you handle situations like these?

 

[jbates]

Well, there are a few ways to handle this situation. First off, if you're with a girl that you haven't been with for very long, don't take her to a bar. At this point in your relationship there may not be as much holding her back. You may not want to bring a girl to a place like this until there is a satisfactory level of mutual trust.

You could also try and build yourself up even better than any other guys that would come up and hit on your girl. If that doesn't work, you can always pick a fight. Often times guys will back down after being shown aggression from the guy who is already 'in'. If not, then fight for your girl. In a club the fight will be broken before any clear winner is decided anyway, so just go for it and show enough balls to initiate the fight. In addition, girls may not say this but they are extremely impressed when a guy has to resort to physical means to defend her.

Hope this helped.

 

[Badjedidude]

At the table was also another guy, who immediately started hitting on her; to me it was pretty obvious. He was a very smooth guy. All the while I was just sitting there, pretending to be in the conversation. I felt helpless, and I sometimes just suck at conversation, like at that time.

Kick the guy's ass. Seriously. Tell him to back the fresia off and if he doesn't, then do what you have to do. jbates is right. Women love to watch their guys fight (especially for HER), even if they pretend like they don't.

Althought, seeing as how it was only 2 weeks into the relationship...it might have been better to give the dude a warning and just move off to another part of the club. If your girl was as drunk as you say, then it wouldn't have been difficult to sidetrack her and get her away from the guy.

Hope some of that helps.

----Steve

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Too late to kick the guy's ass stevO...It's over with.

Well...that's why i like to kiss me woman in public.

All you had to do was hold her hand, or touch her, play with her hands , play with her hair while he's talking. lmao
or say "sweetie....(fill in the blank) in front of the dude.
Or play footies with her
or interupt him when he talks...it'll simply just throw him off of his game.
or laugh at his stupid jokes and give her a little wink.

he can talk all he wants...if you're touching her...you're touching her.

I had plenty of guys hit up on my woman..it's part of the territory of going out with a fine babe.
Sometime i just tell them to fresia -off...straight up. I mean why fucken dance around the bullshit...we're all adults.

All situations are different. You just gotta roll with it and be clear and direct sometimes.
Or you can make smart ass remarks to the other dude. It's good to be a smart ass sometimes

 

[mr p]

Thanks for your replies, I guess I need to be a bit more "owning", or "possessive" in public, like LC said. It's hard for me to be like that, how can you own someone? :/
I think it would've been hard to just leave them; I managed to drag her away once but when we went to say good bye to her friend later that night we got stuck talking to them, again. And that guy was still there.
I couldn't show that much blunt aggression either because of his smoothness. He would've just denied hitting on her, you knew you had to out-smart him. Which is nothing I'm good at in situations like those. My mind just draws blanks.
It wasn't obvious to her what he was doing, and I didn't want to sit there sneering at whatever he said all the time, all passive-agressive.

I hope she doesn't think of him anymore, like gnawing what-ifs and such.

 

[Brian]

It's hard for me to be like that, how can you own someone? :/

By whopping them square in the face without giving it too much thought. Twice. Follow up with a gut shot while he is clutching his smashed nose.

But before resorting to that, I think I -definitely- would have been stroking her hair or had my arm around her, and smiling with a good smirk at him. Let him know he doesn't have a chance.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Thanks for your replies, I guess I need to be a bit more "owning", or "possessive" in public, like LC said. It's hard for me to be like that, how can you own someone? :/
I think it would've been hard to just leave them; I managed to drag her away once but when we went to say good bye to her friend later that night we got stuck talking to them, again. And that guy was still there.
I couldn't show that much blunt aggression either because of his smoothness. He would've just denied hitting on her, you knew you had to out-smart him. Which is nothing I'm good at in situations like those. My mind just draws blanks.
It wasn't obvious to her what he was doing, and I didn't want to sit there sneering at whatever he said all the time, all passive-agressive.

I hope she doesn't think of him anymore, like gnawing what-ifs and such.

Yeah...don't let your mind drift over to the what if section...

If you're still seeing her.
Just focus on your relationship with her. Build your relationship with her.
After a while it's be natural for you to hold her in public.

Don't trip..becuase the longer you stay together....you'll notice her
marking you too. Women have ther own ways of doing it...you'll see.

ok...don't make her feel like you own her...you don't want that.

It's letting the other guys know... she's YOUR girlfriend.

 

[nerdygirl]

Unless, of course, she's like me. Make sure she isn't dominant. 'Cause she'll kick your butt in front of the other guy.

 

[Zak]

Oh if it was me, he wouldn't be saying her name properly after that. I have a sudden anger problem which initiates a reflex action and he gotta be ******* lucky to evade it. I would hit him with whatever I get in my hands and kick his ass. Would at-least make sure that he has some damage to not forget me. lol

 

[kelbo]

Kick the guy's ass. Seriously. Tell him to back the fresia off and if he doesn't, then do what you have to do. jbates is right. Women love to watch their guys fight (especially for HER), even if they pretend like they don't.

I don't think that would have been the right way to play it. Nor is being possessive or trying to 'own' someone.

If you behaved like that and I was your girl then I'd probably just walk off. Men thinking they are all macho and have to prove themselves or beat other guys up so that they aren't in your site is pretty pathetic.

The girl should be with you because she likes you. Trust her. And next time you go out, make more of an effort to talk to her - that way she won't be chatting to other guys. And even if she does, it is only talking. Girls are allowed to have male friends too.

 

[jbates]

It becomes pretty obvious in a club when a guy starts to try and hit on a girl. There is a difference between chat with the intentions of a male friend and chat with the intention of a lot more.

Plus, oftentimes girls don't have the stomach to simply tell a guy straight out to back off because she's taken. I wouldn't be surprised if in a lot of these situations the girl would look to her man too get this other guy off of her. It's not so much 'owning' or 'possessing' her as protecting something that the girl has given you permission to protect.

Sure mutual trust is good and all but sometimes the other guy is pushy and doesn't take a hint. Other times your girl may just want to know how far you'll go before you get physical as a means of defending her.

People are wierd like that.

 

[Badjedidude]

If you behaved like that and I was your girl then I'd probably just walk off. Men thinking they are all macho and have to prove themselves or beat other guys up so that they aren't in your site is pretty pathetic.

lol I don't know if I would have actually beat the guy up for a small thing like that....my main intent was to get my point across that he shouldn't just sit there and try to join the conversation when a guy's hitting on his girl.

Sure, girls can have guy friends and chat with them....but the OP says that this guy was really hitting on her and she was into it. So either I'd move her away from the guy or I would seriously consider the state of the relationship...and that wouldn't be too difficult, seeing as they were only together for like 2 weeks.

----Steve

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It just depends on the situation and the individual you're dealing with.

My ex-gf had to tell me serveral times to get men away from her or she would tell me to stay near by becuase some guy
just don't get a clue becuase they're intoxicated. I had to get pretty firm with some of the dudes. Becuase my gf had
already ask him or told him in so many ways. I mean we were out to have a good time. I didn't mind if she spoke to other people
or strangers. Not everyone you meet is going to hit up on you. I'm not jealous like that.

Other times i actaully watch sober dudes hit on my ex-wf. So she would actually kiss and hug me in front of him.
I mean..she was wear a wedding ring and she was actually very agitated with the dude..but i guess you can't help stupid.
We both didn't want to be rude to the dude but he was pushing it and over stepping his boundaries big time becuase he still
continue to hit on her...


Then again...I've been on the flip side
I simply got in between a guy and his gal or whatever they were. Onething led to another I ended up in bed with her that night.
At the sametime she was also the one pursuing me. So a lot of it depends on the woman.

Sometimes the woman I'm with flirt with other guys just to piss me off on purpose or try to teach me some crazy lesson they think
I should learn or get me jealous. I know how that gose too. If she can ditch it...she better be able to take it...cuz i can do that too

 

[Tramp]

Don't be a sissy man. She's your gal, let the other guy know that.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If you were with her, act like it. Don't just cower in the background, sitting there like no big deal. Even if it wasn't outspoken, actions speak louder than words. Holding her to you, or an arm around her waist or shoulder would have probably shown the other dude who she was with.

Other than that, I can't really think of anything else. Other than don't take a new partner to a bar and get so terribly wasted that either one of you can't control yourself.

 

[h i]

such violence... all yall going to jail for assault.


just set there and stare at the guy with the evil eye

(>.> ) ( )

hell feel awkward and will look away and stop talking.

ftw

 

[Danielle]

I agree with Kelbo. If you are going out somewhere with your girlfriend, drinking or not, she should be there with you. You have nothing to worry about even if she is talking to other guys. talking... means... nothing... everyone is allowed to have friends and speak to members of the opposite3 sex.

Chill out, enjoy your time with her... or else you will run her off by being "owning or possessive".

 

[Badjedidude]

talking... means... nothing... everyone is allowed to have friends and speak to members of the opposite3 sex.

But it wasn't just talking. The OP specifically indicated that the other guy was hitting on his girlfriend and flirting heavily with her. Are you saying that's OK as long as it doesn't turn into anything serious?

I'm ancient, but I wouldn't like some dude hitting on my girlfriend, talking or no.

----Steve

 

[Zak]

I completely agree with Steve. I would like to know what you girls feel when the guy who is with you, at the time when you go to bar, suddenly starts talking to another hot chick as in he is hitting on her and well... you are feeling ignored. Pfft yeah take the morals and walk away in sadness aye? Or to fight back to get him? Yeah like you said. It's okay if he does that yeah? Fine...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I completely agree with Steve. I would like to know what you girls feel when the guy who is with you, at the time when you go to bar, suddenly starts talking to another hot chick as in he is hitting on her and well... you are feeling ignored. Pfft yeah take the morals and walk away in sadness aye? Or to fight back to get him? Yeah like you said. It's okay if he does that yeah? Fine...

It's all find and dandi...until the fucken bouncer starts pounzing on your
ass. Then you feel nice cold hand cuffs going click ka de click..click.
Then you notice lights fucken flashing everywhere. Then you hear two
people whining and screaming....Your girl is screaming and crying her
head off...and the guy that you just got done kicking his ass be saying
"i'm sorry man...I'm sorry man. So you fucken start kicking the basturd
because you're both sitting in the back seat of a cop car....
It happens so very, very fast

Then it finally hits ya while your spending the night in a drunk tank
with fat ******* puking and piss'in everywhere.
"fresia I aint gettting no pussy tonight" Then your head starts spinning.
A thought runs across your mind...fresia the bouncer is probably pounzing
on her hard and continusly.lmao

The next day...after you get bailed out and having to pay a $500
fine for miss orderly conduct . So you're thinking to yourself....
Fucken ***** better give up her pussy real soon becuase a whore
would had been a lot cheaper and less trouble.

Then she finally calls you. She wants to come over and kiss your
fucken boo..boo. And she actually say...she wants to have sex.
But you're too **** hung over with a fucken headache and from
the dramma of the previous night. You just cuddle her and fall asleep.lmao

Seriously man..
Some women don't appriciate the stuff a man has to go through just
to get a fucken kiss.lol