Thank God for lonely women

[alonewanderer]

Just say "haha..hah" slap their knee then tell them, "learn some game" OR, "I was born a lesbian, wanna go pick up some chicks?".

 

[LucieMay]

Firstly, how do you know for certain that every one has been a complete lie?

Secondly, surely it's better to be rejected outright than to be led or used?

Thirdly, surely they are kind ways of being rejected? What do you want to be told- that you're ugly or your personality is shite?

1. Because it usually is a lie and he person usually hooks up with other people the next day.

2. Yes, just be honest about the reasons.

3. No they are excuses to cover up the real reasons. Yes I do want to be told a real reason why I'm being rejected. Of course its not required, but it would be a decent thing to do.

I've only been outright rejected a few times. They were usually honest about it and it sucked but meh, it's not a big deal.

Wanderer you do make some good points, but some people want more than just sexy time. If all I wanted was sex then it would make my life a lot easier. It's a pretty backwards concept that you have to sleep with someone before developing anything else with them.

Why should someone be honest about the real reason they're rejecting you? They didn't ask to be asked out and as such can respond any way they want, including the way that makes them feel the most comfortable. Some people find it hard to turn others down by being blunt so they try to be more tactful. They don't owe you anything other than basic civility. To laugh in your face and call you a loser would be cruel. To tell a white lie to try to spare your feelings and theirs is very understandable. They may be having a bad day, they may have a whole ton of other honeysuckle going on... you just have no idea. Your way of looking at things is really self centred. AT the end of the day, you're getting rejected, who cares how and why? They don't want you, they don't you. Harsh but end of.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm agreeing with Lucie here. Just because you ask someone out doesn't mean they owe you anything. Which is why I think a lot of people are upset when they are rejected. I'm sure they find it great that you like them in some way, but that doesn't mean they owe you a date or anything.

 

[kamya]

Why should someone be honest about the real reason they're rejecting you?

Because lying is bad?

They didn't ask to be asked out and as such can respond any way they want, including the way that makes them feel the most comfortable. Some people find it hard to turn others down by being blunt so they try to be more tactful.

Who gets hurt worse? The person being rejected or the person rejecting someone? Rather than acting selfish and saving your "comfort" maybe you can be honest. If you think a guy is a loser, tell him why he's a loser.

They don't owe you anything other than basic civility. To laugh in your face and call you a loser would be cruel. To tell a white lie to try to spare your feelings and theirs is very understandable.

Yes, laughing while you turn someone down is pretty cruel. The definition of a white lie is to be harmless (or beneficial). Its not a white lie to lie about the reasons for rejecting someone. If anything you are setting them up for future failure by not letting them know whats wrong with them.

They may be having a bad day, they may have a whole ton of other honeysuckle going on... you just have no idea. Your way of looking at things is really self centred.

You are right. However, most of these examples are of times when you have known the person for a while. You will probably have an idea of if it's a good time or not. It's really self centered to lie (to not seem shallow or to protect your comfort) while rejecting someone. Just be honest. You won't be hurting anyone's feelings by telling the truth, and you'll piss us off by trying to spare our feelings. Sometimes, we just get tired of the canned rejections that we all know are bullshit.

AT the end of the day, you're getting rejected, who cares how and why? They don't want you, they don't you. Harsh but end of.

The person getting rejected might care just a bit. I know we all like to pretend that we don't have to change ourselves and that there is someone perfect out there for us, but the reality is there are certain things we can do to better ourselves. If I get rejected, I want to know why. If enough people give the same reasons, then I might want to try to change a little bit.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I am disappointed, I thank god and curse him for lonely females. After all how do you think I lost my virginity? Find a female who has not been with anyone for six years yet is desperate for companionship and she will do the rest.

No offense, but those excuses do not mean that said female is actually lonely. All are legitiment excuses that males use as well. Maybe you need to work on your wit...

Next time a female says:
I'm Not Looking For a Boyfriend
Maybe you say What about a fresia buddy? or Good I am not looking for a girlfriend. or Neither am I >_<. or.... ummm... Where is your boyfriend?

Can't we Just be Friends
You can say Of course, you can share my time equally. From there you have license to not answer her calls and reject her when she wants to hang out with you.

I wish I had met you when
Better late than never or Just pretend it is then or Then I guess I wish I hadn't met you

I just need some me time
Odd for you to be out socializing

I don't have time in my life for a man
You seem to have time for women assuming of course she is out with friends or You don't have time or don't want to have time

I don't date
Good we can skip straight to sex

I don't want to hurt you
It must be lonely up there on your pedestal or Then don't

I don't want to be hurt
Then don't love, just lust

You will find someone who is right for you
Of course I will, in the mean time I will settle for you or Only I know who is right and wrong for me

You're My Best Friend
Of course I am, that is why I want to be your lover

Having a little wit and humor will got a long way friend. Who knows, maybe the another girl will laugh and be interested in you. Of course just because you are attracted to someone does not mean she is attracted to you. Move on to the next one.

 

[alonewanderer]

, ****!!! Frozen has some juevos lol

 

[AFrozenSoul]

aren't females turned on by juevos?

 

[alonewanderer]

You're right I meant cajones hahaha

 

[AFrozenSoul]

o.o umm don't females like those too?

 

[Limlim]

I thought a cajone was a piece of pizza folded in half.

 

[alonewanderer]

geez my spanish is muy malo, I meant cojones! ...fine , massive balls sir, you have won this round.


calzone lim , now I'm hungry

 

[nerdygirl]

*ahem* Regarding quite a few posts in this thread:

haha..hah *slaps your knee* learn some game.
or
I was born a lesbian, wanna go pick up some chicks?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

geez my spanish is muy malo, I meant cojones! ...fine , massive balls sir, you have won this round.


calzone lim , now I'm hungry

>_< I knew what metaphor you were going for. My point was confidence, as the slang is used. Females like confidence, if anything a female might give him another chance if he throws out some of those lines. After all females do not get the benefit of being attracted to their mate solely on appearance like males.

 

[LucieMay]

Why should someone be honest about the real reason they're rejecting you?

Because lying is bad?

They didn't ask to be asked out and as such can respond any way they want, including the way that makes them feel the most comfortable. Some people find it hard to turn others down by being blunt so they try to be more tactful.

Who gets hurt worse? The person being rejected or the person rejecting someone? Rather than acting selfish and saving your "comfort" maybe you can be honest. If you think a guy is a loser, tell him why he's a loser.

They don't owe you anything other than basic civility. To laugh in your face and call you a loser would be cruel. To tell a white lie to try to spare your feelings and theirs is very understandable.

Yes, laughing while you turn someone down is pretty cruel. The definition of a white lie is to be harmless (or beneficial). Its not a white lie to lie about the reasons for rejecting someone. If anything you are setting them up for future failure by not letting them know whats wrong with them.

They may be having a bad day, they may have a whole ton of other honeysuckle going on... you just have no idea. Your way of looking at things is really self centred.

You are right. However, most of these examples are of times when you have known the person for a while. You will probably have an idea of if it's a good time or not. It's really self centered to lie (to not seem shallow or to protect your comfort) while rejecting someone. Just be honest. You won't be hurting anyone's feelings by telling the truth, and you'll piss us off by trying to spare our feelings. Sometimes, we just get tired of the canned rejections that we all know are bullshit.

AT the end of the day, you're getting rejected, who cares how and why? They don't want you, they don't you. Harsh but end of.

The person getting rejected might care just a bit. I know we all like to pretend that we don't have to change ourselves and that there is someone perfect out there for us, but the reality is there are certain things we can do to better ourselves. If I get rejected, I want to know why. If enough people give the same reasons, then I might want to try to change a little bit.

See I must be very different to you because outright rejections have never really bothered me, whatever reason the guy chooses to give. It's dealt with swiftly, no false hopes or leading on involved. He doesn't want me for whatever reason he wants to give whatever the real reason is, not a big deal, time for me to move on. It doesn't mean there is something inherently wrong with me as a person or I need to change myself. Not everyone is gonna like me and I'm not gonna like everyone, that's life. And yes, as a girl, I have approached plenty of guys and made the first move.

What hurts me and what I cannot stand is false hope, guys who lie and say they'll call or even as far as they do love me/want
me etc when they don't, guys who use me for sex or attention and blow hot and cold and chase me and then ignore me for months and even years. I've just got out of a two year situation with a man who used me horrendously. Give me a dishonest outright rejection any day over a protracted mental head fresia for years on end.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Exactly, Lucie! That false hope, that falseness about ANYTHING bothers me more than anything else. I'd appreciate it if someone told me flat out they didn't want to be with me, then to have me think that they MIGHT when they really don't. It's an awful feeling, I think, more so than to have someone just tell me the truth of how they feel.

 

[kamya]

Oh em gee, wasn't that what I was saying? >>

 

[alonewanderer]

Lol frozen, those were hardcore responses, I'd never go for that because I don't like getting slapped hahaha, BUT from a year ago I DO like you feeling like bud

You know what really sucks, when I sense a chick being uncomfortable and I ask them if they want me to fresia off but they say everything's okay. It really hurts, they look at me and think some random bullshit that I don't understand or are intune with but god dammit it hurts so much when they can't be blunt. I'm blunter than a stump of wood, I will say everything on my mind and not withhold any details. As you can probably tell I didn't enjoy tonight at all, at freaking all. I haven't felt this way in a long time, actually since I was a lonely depressed teenager but honeysuckle....I actually want to have a girlfriend so bad, so ******* bad. Not a 1 night stand or a cuddle buddy....not a lunch/dinner/sushi date....not someone who is only looking for 'a good time'.


I got rejected by a girl that I was honestly interested in.....I strong armed her phone number out of my friend and she was pretty pissed about it because I was a nervous stuttering wreck on the phone with her. That doesn't happen, she just got out of a relationship, I messed it all up and now I'm rambling.

I wish I knew some way to win her attention back because I find her quite intriguing.


tl;dr I'm a dumbass, big whoop

 

[Catcher]

I'm not sure if being given a reason why someone won't date you is very helpful. I've been given a list of reasons and they are all frivolous reasons or things I couldn't/wouldn't change. I'd rather hear a lame excuse than something like my race being unacceptable.

I have to say not all of those reasons/excuses are lies all of the time. Rejection is never a easy thing to get and, the few times I was in a position to reject anyone, I always tried to do it with tact and as nice as possible. The usual reason was always I didn't feel a connection which is something no one can do anything about.

But your list was interesting....

"I'm not looking for a boyfriend"
This is my current situation.

"It's complicated"
It is.

"I just got out of a bad relationship"
This is why I'm not looking for a boyfriend and why things are complicated.

"Can't we just be friends?"
I'm sure you've known girls who you'd rather be friends with than date. Just saying.

"You're such a nice man"
Not sure how this is a reason not to date someone... Sounds more like trying to console someone after you rejected them.

"I wish I had met you when"
I'd think this one would just make someone feel worse... I hate those "I would date you if only" lines!

"I don't date people I work with"
Understandable. If you break up or even have a horrible first date, you're stuck seeing this same person every day. It can be a hairy situation.

"I need some time to just be me (all the while eyeing some other guy over my shoulder)"
Sounds like "just being me" is whoring around

"I don't have time for a man in my life right now"
Relationships take time a devotion and some people don't have the need or time for that kind of work

"You are like a brother to me."
They are not attracted to you. Simple.

"You are really caring."
Again, just a buttering up to spare feelings. Doesn't sound like an actual rejection.

''I don't date.''
This was me a few years ago. The idea of dating honestly didn't appeal to me at all.

"I don't want to hurt you."
Someone who can tell you're the loyal "stick til the end" type and this person is just out for a good time or knows she's a crazy biotch who will stab you for looking at the mail lady

"I don't want to get hurt."
How I feel right now thanks to bad breakup. It can take a while to get into that trust zone again. Some people never do.

"You will find someone that is right for you."
More consolation.

"I like you but you're too good to be true."
I don't know wtf this means. It sounds stupid.

"You're my best friend"
While it's true that most girls want their partner to be their best friend, this can be a tricky line to cross. What if something goes wrong? What if you have a fight or break up? Who do you go to for consolation and help? Your best friend! Oh...wait.. can't...

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@alonewanderer: Yeah some of my replies were a bit harsh. I do think some of them are still valid. My mood messes with my posts... when I made that post I was not in the greatest mood so let me try again.

I'm Not Looking For a Boyfriend

• Who said anything about a boyfriend?
• I am not looking for a girlfriend
• Neither am I

These are all valid responses friend. The first one you could easily push into a discussion about how society views relationships. You can get a step up on her by showing her that her logic is flawed. Another good one is the neither am I response. A smart female will catch onto the wit and laugh. Females like to laugh, it might buy you a few more seconds.

Can't we Just be Friends

• Why can't we be more?
• I am always friends with females I am attracted too
• Nope

None of these answer will get you slapped. The first one will put her on the spot. It will likely not get you anything but you can make her squirm a bit. The second one is the witty one. It implies that friendship is required for you to be in a relationship. That will give you one up on her. The third answer won't win you much. It is a way to get one up on her as well. It is easy to explain to her that friendship only works if both parties are not sexually attracted to each other. It won't win you this female, but if you stand confidently other females eyes will drift to you.

I wish I had met you when

• Better late than never
• What is so different about now
• Then I wish I hadn't met you

All of these are just fine. The second one is good because it tricks her into continuing to talk to you. The third one won't win you anything. The best thing to do is to deliver the line then walk away.

I just need some me time or I don't have time in my life for a man

• Odd place to have me time - if you are in a highly social situation
• Ok ~walk away~

Again this is a situational response. It will really only work if you are at a party or a bar or some other situation when people are there to be social. The best thing to do is to give her space and check back every once in a while. Sadly I am not good enough with my words to suggest that she needs time with me.

I don't date

• Then what do you do?
• Why not?

Talking is key, pay attention I am sure it is easy to find a point to debate with her on.

I don't want to hurt you

• Can I get the Powerball numbers for tomorrow then?
• Then don't

Sorry I am not witty enough to come up with turn around responses for this one. Phrases like this are turn offs for me. If a female said that to me I would just say "ok" and walk away. The first response implies she is psychic. She cannot know the future anymore than you do. She is just on her high horse. I always hurt sweet guys like you. So kick her off of it.

I don't want to be hurt

• I guess it hurts less to be alone
• Whats so wrong with enjoying life?

There are plenty of directions to go off with these. The best one being that she is hurting all the time and would rather bath in self-loathing than feel happiness.

You will find someone who is right for you

• Will you help me then?
• I am looking

These answers are situational... really I would not expect you to hear these from a stranger. You would hear these from a friend. The first one is good because it is vauge. You can push it into her dating you or into her knowing you better than you know yourself. Either way you can have a discussion. Chances are you will come out on top.

You're My Best Friend

• I wonder....
• I guess I see my mistake

Again I do not think these will win you anything, but you never know. As pointed out by catcher she is just being selfish.

I think I am going to post this list on a place where there are guys who are witter than I... I hope I can get a response other than "Next female".

 

[Catcher]

I'm in no way saying the "You're my best friend" response is a selfish one. I've just been in situations where I was having arguments with my best friend and had no one to turn to. Being alone and depressed and you don't even have your best friend to talk to? It hurts like hell.

Taking a close friendship into something more is a great risk that not many women (maybe even men) can deal with, especially if that person is your only close friend. A relationship is supposed to be happy and beneficial to both people. If one person is scared of losing the other all the time, the relationship will never grow. You'll have one person "Omg! You're going to leave me and I'll have no gf/bf and no best friend either!" and the other person slamming their head against the wall from the stress of it all. It's a line that needs to be crossed carefully is all I'm saying.

I do, however, agree that some of these responses should be opened up with further discussion. Sometimes you'll find they aren't lies or excuses but valid reasons corresponding to whatever emotional state that person is in and what issues they are dealing with in their life at the time. And you may be able to convince them to give things a shot if you know why they've told you this line.

On the other hand, if it does turn out to be a bs line, then you still know that person is not the one for you.