That one friend

[Shinzoku]

Do you guys have that one friend where you always and constantly talk, and then they hang out with another friend and you're completely lost and lonely and about to burst into tears thinking about how they're probably having a better time without you? I'm having one of those moments where my best friend is hanging out with another friend and now I have no one to talk to.

Anyone else have a friend like that?

 

[monkeysocks]

You are far better to have many associates/friends than one friend. This is what your friend is doing and its not abandonment of your friendship. Remember this time as a lesson, don't fall out with your friend but try to find opportunities to make new ones as well. That way the chances of you feeling like this again are less.

Perhaps the new people are interested in something (a particular hobby etc) that you are not interested in, so your friend is just engaging her mutual interests with other people. It doesn't necessarily mean she/he is leaving you behind.

I know this is upsetting I remember the same when I was younger, I took it personally, but later realised it is normal.

 

[pumpkin-soup]

I ain't got no best friend right now. So no jealousy or sadness out of that, either.
If you guys are good friends, I'm sure he/she won't compare your time to others like which is better. They may have a different kind of fun time, with different friends.

 

[Drew88]

OP, I am starting to think a friendship with someone is turning into that

 

[Walley]

for the longest time i had one best friend and everyone else were aquaintences that came and went. i can totaly relate to you.
how i solved this (or in the course of solving internally) was to meet other friends that i felt i may be able to connect with to "spread myself around" abit and not focus all of my caring and attention into one person.
its very freeing.

 

[Tiina63]

I agree with what several others have said-it is best if you can make some new friends so that you are not so dependent on this one person. Then you won't feel so hurt and alone when this friend wants to see other people.

 

[Okiedokes]

I must agree with this... it's best to have more than one friend for sure. Keep an open circle.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yup, what the others said. Having more than just one friend around allows you not to feel "offended" when the best friend does his/her own thing with other people. It's not so bad to have many many good friends around.

 

[Wessik]

I admit that I am a bit lacking in the friend department. But then again, with this economy, I just can't afford to hire anyone right now.

On a slightly more serious note, consider the following. Now that you have made one friend, you are better prepared to make another. The magic number, I feel, is two. With every activity, one only needs two positive, sequential experiences in order for it to become a habit. You're halfway there, Shinzoku. Half-way.

 

[toomanypuppies]

I refuse to rely on anyone. If a friend wants to make plans with someone else instead, I want them to do just that. I have no room in my life for prisoners.

 

[HumanZ]

Yes, I have one really good friend. The sad thing is I don't see him very often. Right now he is doing his military service and after next January when he has completed it, I'll start my military service and he is also going to move to another city. And after I've completed my service, I'll go to study to a different city which is hundreds of kilometers away from the city my friend will move.

This is so shame. He is the only friend I meet in real life and we've been good friends since God knows how long.

 

[monkeysocks]

I refuse to rely on anyone. If a friend wants to make plans with someone else instead, I want them to do just that. I have no room in my life for prisoners.

I agree with this, because there is nothing worse than feeling like the friendship is a 'marriage' and why I said not to take it personally and fall out with the person.

 

[aribeth]

I have 2 friends but I hardly see them. I tried making new friends too but they are distant to me as well. This making new friends is not so easy.

 

[JasonM]

That concept of a best friend or soul mate has always escaped me. So, no. I've not had that sort of connection with another.

 

[5pt7art]

i did with two freinds...always hangout together then one decided to not be freinds anymore so that sucked...and now my only freind left..has been doing his own thing...idk what to think ..i know everyone has there own lifes and others to hang with but...is it fair to someone when they make the effort to atleast get in contact and the effort isnt acknowledged?

 

[Lua]

I used to have two best friends who were basically my only ones. When both of them spent a year abroad three years ago, I was crushed because there was no one I could really talk to. One of them is still a very good friend. Sometimes we don't see each other for a while, but when we do, it's always like coming home.

i did with two freinds...always hangout together then one decided to not be freinds anymore so that sucked...and now my only freind left..has been doing his own thing...idk what to think ..i know everyone has there own lifes and others to hang with but...is it fair to someone when they make the effort to atleast get in contact and the effort isnt acknowledged?

I know, that's what it has been like with my other once best friend, ever since she's had a boyfriend. If I contact her, it takes at least a week (or until my next message) until she replies. Sometimes people or their lives change and they have less time. It's sad, but all you can really do is start looking for other friends so that you don't depend on them so much... It really helps because you don't feel jealous or hurt so easily and when you do meet them, you can enjoy it

 

[Tinderleaf]

That concept of a best friend or soul mate has always escaped me. So, no. I've not had that sort of connection with another.

Same here. I've had a few friends myself in the past and a few in current but not one would I consider a best friend. And indeed, the concept doesn't bother me either as all, if not, most of my past friends have moved and progressed so much with their lives and are doing well on the occasion with their own friends unlike myself who'd rather focus on being self-independent and improving from there first up.

Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have friends, as it's good to have a bit of company around, but you shouldn't put your full trust on a particular friend as I believe no one is perfect and there's the chance situation that he/she will make you feel miserable and ripped off.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yeah I had friends like that but now I try not to rely on anyone anymore cause you never know how things will go. I care and keep people close, but it takes a lot of trust to let someone in fully. Friends shouldn't make you cry, true friends support you. Friends are only there for a good time. I rather have really close friends. Ones that I know will always stick around.

 

[MsMac]

I don't have any friends, but would love to have just ONE true friend that you could do and say anything with

I used to have, I think, but not for a long, long time now

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I used to have times like that. Then I learned people are allowed to have lives of their own. I am not the only friend they have and that is okay. Just like I am allowed to have other friends of my own and memories without that friend.