The bar being set so high these days

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kamya said:
Give it some time blackcat. It was probably easier because you were around more single people when you were younger. Youll just have to try harder to find other singles.

The first responder seemed to be angry about something or someone with the way that post read. From past threads/posts it is clear that she has extremely high/ unrealistic standards and suffers loneliness as a result. I wouldnt put much stock into assuming that most older women are thinking that way.

You are correct, Kamya. I married a man (I accidentally met through eHarmony - long story lol) who is ten years my senior. I was a few months shy of being 47 and he had just turned 56. I don't think the first person who responded is typical of *my* age group. And that's ok if that's how someone thinks, but I can assure the OP that not all women share that *practical* view.
 
I think its your age. Its okay to be 46, its not a sin. But the elder you are, the more money you need for women to see that you are a great guy. Its bullsh*t that women don't care about money and looks. We don't live in an ideal world. Most people are shallow. You have 4 attributes: Age, height, looks and money. You can't change the first two. You can do something about the third. But not much. You can't grow a jawline or blue eyes or a sexy glare like you can grow a beard. Also, in these days of inflation, it is not a profitable deal to be with a 40+ but not rich. If you were in your 20s and good looking and tall, there was a possibility for them to have a nearly perfect guy because the 4th attribute is a variable. But not in your 40s. The only thing you can change is the 4th. Get more money and your heart will become bigger in their eyes and you will suddenly become a caring and honest person and age and height won't matter to them, as they always claim.

Also, going on dating sites is like a girl expecting to meet a guy in a bar who is not looking for a hook up, but for a committed relationship. Its a totally different thing to meet someone in your circle than to meet someone on a dating site.
 
M_also_lonely said:
I think its your age. Its okay to be 46, its not a sin. But the elder you are, the more money you need for women to see that you are a great guy. Its bullsh*t that women don't care about money and looks.

A lot of women don't care about looks or money. Please stay away from generalizations like this. I have no clue what bitter tiff you're on about seemingly disliking and discrediting women and our interests in people, but it'll get you a ban here if you continue down that path. Consider this your last warning.
 
It was just an opinion. I hope people do have the right to at-least have that. Everyone doesn't have to go with what you believe. In a place where there is a huge variety of people, from different areas, experiences, beliefs, variety in opinions is not surprising. Banning for what? There is no rule I have broken. And i don't care much anymore. Just banning because I don't agree with what you believe is not a good trait of a leader.
Also, if you believe that my opinions are not correct, you could provide arguments that suggest otherwise, so that further discussions can be held and a conclusion can be reached that can be in consensus to both the parties. And maybe learn something out of it. But if you don't have any, then that's your best. go ahead. that's all you can do, people should see that. everyone should see that. and i don't care anyway. But I must say, going around banning everyone who doesn't say what you believe is not a way to reach a conclusion. That I oppose your ideas and you ban me and thus your opinions become accepted by everyone.
I didn't say all women either. I did say most people are shallow. We do not live in an ideal world. And although sub consciously, men and women do have certain things they want to see in their partner. And they don't have to be traits like loyalty, commitment, etc. Which a lot of men fail to see. And its not true that women don't care about money and looks. They are humans, they have the right to have a choice.
 
Women only go for someone when they benefit. If you don't have stuff to make them comfortable then you are nothing. Heh.
 
Exactly. And you can't live with a person simply because they can be loyal after you become their partners. Its not discrediting them by saying that they don't prefer looks and money. Come on, humans do that. Millions of beauty products, gyms, etc don't exist for no reasons. But sure, you can't live with someone on the basis of their looks. And as I said, money is a huge requirement in this age.
Also according to what you said, why would anyone go for someone if it doesn't make them comfortable? Its not discrediting them by saying that they don't prefer looks and money.. Its a foolish idea.

If someone's offended, that's their issue. They decided to become offended. And it's probably mainly because that's how society is conditioning people today. To be offended over every little thing that's said, because how dare anyone not agree... It's so ridiculous now. It's not everyone else's issue that someone was offended. It's theirs. They should realize that it's their own choice to either be upset or to not let something bother them. We do have that choice, but today's society would have us all believe that we must get frazzled and upset when someone doesn't agree with us.
 
It still sends a shiver down my spine when men tell me what I (as a woman) want. 
tenor.gif
 
TheRealCallie said:
It still sends a shiver down my spine when men tell me what I (as a woman) want. 
tenor.gif
Nice try. But the victim card was not required. Me not having opinions that you and some other people want, is enough for getting me banned. So relax.
And as I said, one can always have counter arguments. But apparently, they hesitate to do so. And before they do so, people get banned.  Or they be like: "What is your problem?"
Also regarding the chills, someone here put it quite accurately:

"today's society would have us all believe that we must get frazzled and upset when someone doesn't agree with us."

If it sends you chills, you can chill and share your ideas. But since we know the steps of this ongoing attempts (you know what i am talking about), you won't do that, since the steps do not require that to be done.

I am not telling you what you want (as a woman). I am just telling that not every woman wants the same thing and just because she is a woman, that doesn't mean that she only cares about inner traits of the man. I am not telling him that women may want other things such as money, looks. And it is fairly obvious that in this age, it is less likely for a person to prefer a partner who doesn't have any of these: youth, looks, money, other physical traits. One cannot spend the rest of their life with someone only through the trait of loyalty, etc. People do see traits such as wealth, social success, attractiveness, etc. to choose a partner. Its is human nature. nothing worth sending chills, i am not enforcing anything on anyone.
 
TheRealCallie said:
LOL, oh yes, so frazzled and upset.

Hmmm...

Anyway, I see this being diverted. I have presented my views to the OP, which was the sole purpose of my post. That has been done, And thus I'll stop.
 
tsar said:
Women only go for someone when they benefit.  If you don't have stuff to make them comfortable then you are nothing. Heh.

Like most other generalizations that are just that, you should probably stay away from them.
 
VanillaCreme said:
tsar said:
Women only go for someone when they benefit.  If you don't have stuff to make them comfortable then you are nothing. Heh.

Like most other generalizations that are just that, you should probably stay away from them.

Well you use your bf by living under their roof. You can't stand any of them yet you still there.  Sooo yeah
 
tsar said:
VanillaCreme said:
tsar said:
Women only go for someone when they benefit.  If you don't have stuff to make them comfortable then you are nothing. Heh.

Like most other generalizations that are just that, you should probably stay away from them.

Well you use your bf by living under their roof. You can't stand any of them yet you still there.  Sooo yeah

It's more like they use me because they can't do anything right. So, yeah, bitterness has consumed you, it looks like.

I should add that I'm not comfortable here. So there goes your theory.
 
Bars are indeed set high. I have been feeling that all my life.

But then there are plenty of men, who are in relationships, or at least have been in relationships. So I guess they are "better" and actually qualify for these set standards and expectations.

However, these bars are definitely too high for me. I am no high jumper, lol.

Give me something other than a high bar, and then I might have more of a chance.
 

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