The infamous excuses

[Standalone Sentinel]

You phone up someone you've been mates with for years and you start to hear the phrase "I'm busy" or "I'm tired" or "I forgot" more and more often. In the worst case you start to hear "I was too drunk". Last year I called six different people that all came up with one of these excuses. Luckily I was not surprised and hence disappointment was averted.

Anybody else get that and what did you do, if anything, about it?

S.S.

 

[Robin]

The reason why i rarely hang out with any friends is because i 1. prioritize my studies so much that i'm sure i'm seen as a generally boring guy and 2. because i have such a good contact with them via the internet anyway (and can save both time and money by not meeting up). I'm the only person i know who'd rather study than go to a party, which probably is the reason for why i've never been at one.

I ignore the one's that ignore me. I expect they have an as good reason not to hang with me as i have not to hang with them all those times i've turned something down, due to studies. It's my choice to be unpopular, even though cherished amongst the few friends i've got, and i can therefore accept it and live with it without feeling bad about it. If i would favor popularity i'm sure i would have ten times as many close friends since... well, i have some scary knack for being liked by people, especially in real life, although i don't really care to spend time with anyone new in real life since i'm living the kind of life i want to live and, as said, are quite busy. My dreams mean more than a filled phone-book.

 

[Luna]

idk... It was always me who left my friends. ok... once a friend of mine stoped talking to me cause someone told her parents that i was lesbian (im not!!!) so the excuse was "my grandmother doesnt want us talking" and even with this, it was me who stoped talking to her in the end cause she told me to call her and use another name. We just couldnt be friends at school cause her parents used to have a restaurant there and always knew when we were talking... I stoped talking to her cause i never allowed anyone to treat me bad so i just kept talking to my other friends and she got all alone cause she was always a shy person and i introduced her to my friends and even her first bf was a friend of mine that i introduced and i was the cupido. I used to see her walking alone, studing alone, etc and i was not happy of course. I dont get how peoples mind sometimes is so dirt and their hearts are even worst. I was just 16 and had a bf at the same school. I dont get how they could think that about me but, anyway, like i was saying, it was always me who left my friends cause life took me to other places and all. But i still loving them and i hope everybody is fine and happy. Sometimes we just do those idiot things...
"My dreams mean more than a filled phone-book." Are you studying to join NASA or something like that? x)

 

[Robin]

"My dreams mean more than a filled phone-book." Are you studying to join NASA or something like that? x)

Hehe, nope, my dream consist of using my creativity to create... well, alot of things. I love to compose music, write manuscripts, film with cameras, set up lightning, edit video and sound, voice-act and narrating and are the leader kind (although i don't like to admit it) and are good with taking care of and handing out tasks to groups of people, so i would like to go for the most difficult yet most rewarding post (in terms of creativity) in the movie industry; director. I don't just want to sit there in the chair and tell everyone what to do. I want to create the films themselves, like Steven Spielberg, and the music and everything in the whole darn set! LoL If i could i would probably be making movies and take care of everything all by myself. My main co-worker and i, Princess Cleocatra who are a fantastic writer and have a voice i'd like to put into good use in an animated film, are naturals and dynamos and i believe everyone can achieve anything they want to as long as they do what they love the most! Now that's self-esteem!

What do You wonna do? =) Oh by the way, it would be better if You could write an answer (if You want to) in this thread instead so we don't turn SS' thread here into something different.

 

[20years2many]

I can totally relate, Standalone. I made the HUGE mistake of giving up the true good things in my life to hang out with my "cool" friends in high school. I always got good grades, did extracurriculars, etc. but I gave them up to fit in. I did become really popular junior and senior years, but at the expense of my real friends and whatever talents I had. I mean, I still never did badly, but I know I could have put all that wasted time and effort into something amazing. Now those friends that I gave everything up for maybe call a few times a year, or not at all. I hate picking up the phone and calling them because I always hear the same bullshit. The "oh yeah, we should hang out," or the, "I'll call you tomorrow." Those calls never come, or they come when everyone has already been hanging out for hours. So, like a fool, I used to drive my ass to wherever they were only to realize the real party was over and everyone was just sitting around and ready to go home. Now I don't call or bother to show up. I'm pretty shy, but I've called them out on it a few times. They just say, "you should have called," or "I didn't know you were in town!" UGH it makes me so mad to even think about it. I don't really care about birthdays and such, but we used to have this tradition of surprising each other on our birthdays. Somehow, this surprise only happened to me once in the many years that we all knew each other. In fact, the only time they ever came over to say hey was when MY PARENTS CALLED THEM and told them to show up. They always show up when there's anything in it for them, because my parents took us all out to dinner, got us a limo, and VIP reservations at a club. I felt so awful that my awesome parents did all that for a pathetic loser like me, to make me feel like I really had good friends. But it was good, in the end, to finally let me know that such pursuits of superficial friendships aren't worth jack. Whenever I come home from college now, I spend most of my time with my parents, and a few old friends that I seldom saw in my popular days- The REAL friends. It pisses me off to see the fake friends doing so well, however- maybe I'm just jealous. But I'm doing well now, despite the lack of a social life.

 

[evanescencefan91]

i just want to stay intonight for the 2nd week in a row

 

[Luna]

You are not a looser, not cause of that. None of my friends are loosers and me neither. Life changes, we make new friends... Just make new friends. Blah! I shouldnt say what you could do cause what is easy for me, maybe is not so easy for you and the other way around. Listen, friends we all have lots but reeeeeal friends are just a few. Real friends are the ones you can count on, you know? That will borrow you money when you need, that will take care of you if you get sick, that will let you live with them when you finish your next relationship or that you can leave the dog to travel without worrying. These ones we have just a few. They are rare! Some of my friends got tired of calling me and trying to keep our friendship and i never tought they could be angry. Well... im not a mean person or anything like that... we just make idiot things sometimes...
"What do You wonna do? =)" Its fast so dont worry lol. I studied gastronomy and the restaurant will be ready next year and im scared ^.^

 

[Silvernight]

Hm, yeah, I'm totally in the same shoes. I used to "prod" those few people I considered good friends occasionally to meet up and talk about things and go out somewhere but with all the standard "I'm busy" and "I'm lazy" I quit bothering in the end. Plus, when I promise things, I normally mean it and intend to live up to those promises. That's why it always particularly p***ed me off to hear things like "I'll write you in the evening" or "Oh, I'm gonna help you do this or that!" - NEVER once in my entire experience did it happen! Why on earth do people make promises with no intention whatsoever to fulfil them?? It's just plain hypocritic.

 

[Nat]

I actually just opened this thread becuase it sounds exactly like one of my freinds.
I know what you mean, I hate the way you can see more and more of your 'friends' make these excuses over time until you find yourself thinking 'What did I do wrong?'

 

[Luna]

"Why on earth do people make promises with no intention whatsoever to fulfil them?? It's just plain hypocritic."
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People make promises to dont hurt others and to dont be rude.

 

[evanescencefan91]

they want to politiley cut you out of there lives they know eventually it will dawn on us, and they won't have to anything.


when were despreate sometimes we believe but how could they lie about?

 

[Luna]

No, its not like that. I dont think that cut someone out of their lives and being rude like: no, i knew you were in town but i rather sleep then go out with you (or anything like that) will be better. People say these small lies cause even if they dont want you in their lives anymore, they dont want to see you sad or upset. They still liking you, they just dont want to be close friends anymore.

 

[Silvernight]

"Why on earth do people make promises with no intention whatsoever to fulfil them?? It's just plain hypocritic."
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People make promises to dont hurt others and to dont be rude.

No one forces them to promise anything. Why say that you'll call or write or do anything else if you're not going to. That's much more rude in my opinion than refraining from distributing empty promises left and right.