The internet makes me feel lonelier ...

[simplesimonette]

Is it just me or is there a lot of negativity online these days? The type of negativity that reminds me of school children jostling for popularity by stepping on those around them.
I realize that the world wide web is an enormous area and I could find whatever it was I was looking for (hello Pinterest), but like a rubbernecker on the highway, I'm drawn back, again and again, to the least compassionate comments and ideals that people spout about those less fortunate, those of color, those who are lost.
One would think, as evolved as we are, a platform like the internet would help the world come together - but for me the internet highlights what I like least about people.
Of course, I help perpetuate the negativity by giving it weight. By allowing it to affect how I feel about the people around me. Maybe I'm just naturally drawn to negativity and like everything else in life - the key to being content lies in how I perceive the world.
Is it just me?

 

[A.L]

It does help the world come together, this forum is an example of that

But sadly, a lot of people lose civilized morals when they know they are anonymous. I try to focus on the places online where people still respect each other, and luckily there are more than enough of those

 

[JasonM]

I honestly believe that if anything the internet and technology in general is emotionally isolating us more not less. There seems to be this growing disconnect between thinking we are connected and actually feeling connected.

How is having a thousand facebook friends or twitter followers suppose to be a connection? Seems like something only really used to stroke one's fragile ego. That's just my opinion though, so take it for what you will.

 

[Lilianna]

I honestly believe that if anything the internet and technology in general is emotionally isolating us more not less. There seems to be this growing disconnect between thinking we are connected and actually feeling connected.

How is having a thousand facebook friends or twitter followers suppose to be a connection? Seems like something only really used to stroke one's fragile ego. That's just my opinion though, so take it for what you will.

I agree! I got rid of FB and some other online social network accounts I had, a few years ago, when I realized it was just for my ego , and when someone mentions FB I actually tell them it is just so people can stroke their ego's. I realize some people stay connected to distant family that way to though, but not most.

And yes, there is more and more negativity online these days.

Being online is a good way for me to socialize (I know not the best way) I suffer from social anxiety, and the way I interact with others is online. But I am working on it, and plan on getting to a point where I will be able to go out in public more. But being online might be making it comfortable to stay this way.

 

[MsMac]

I honestly believe that if anything the internet and technology in general is emotionally isolating us more not less. There seems to be this growing disconnect between thinking we are connected and actually feeling connected.

How is having a thousand facebook friends or twitter followers suppose to be a connection? Seems like something only really used to stroke one's fragile ego. That's just my opinion though, so take it for what you will.

I totally agree. We get out less and connect with 'real' people, because we don't have to anymore

I have an FB and Twitter account, and it is used mainly to keep in touch with family live overseas and if not for the internet I would have zero contact with

 

[simplesimonette]

I honestly believe that if anything the internet and technology in general is emotionally isolating us more not less. There seems to be this growing disconnect between thinking we are connected and actually feeling connected.

How is having a thousand facebook friends or twitter followers suppose to be a connection? Seems like something only really used to stroke one's fragile ego. That's just my opinion though, so take it for what you will.

I have to agree with you on that. Facebook represents the worst of communication for me. The statuses are no longer original, so basically it's just memes of other people's thoughts. How personal is that?
My railings against facebook can take up an entire thread.
I think most people use the internet to be heard and not to gain different perspectives from different sources.

---

It does help the world come together, this forum is an example of that

But sadly, a lot of people lose civilized morals when they know they are anonymous. I try to focus on the places online where people still respect each other, and luckily there are more than enough of those

Feel free to share!

 

[JasonM]

I was reading an article just yesterday (unfortunately I can not find it now) concerning how other countries see America's obsession with social media. A good point the article made was that in some cultures it is actually in poor taste to have too many 'friends'. This is do to more friends equaling less time for each relationship and thus more shallow, or perhaps less intimate, relationships overall.

 

[simplesimonette]

I honestly believe that if anything the internet and technology in general is emotionally isolating us more not less. There seems to be this growing disconnect between thinking we are connected and actually feeling connected.

How is having a thousand facebook friends or twitter followers suppose to be a connection? Seems like something only really used to stroke one's fragile ego. That's just my opinion though, so take it for what you will.

I agree! I got rid of FB and some other online social network accounts I had, a few years ago, when I realized it was just for my ego , and when someone mentions FB I actually tell them it is just so people can stroke their ego's. I realize some people stay connected to distant family that way to though, but not most.

And yes, there is more and more negativity online these days.

Being online is a good way for me to socialize (I know not the best way) I suffer from social anxiety, and the way I interact with others is online. But I am working on it, and plan on getting to a point where I will be able to go out in public more. But being online might be making it comfortable to stay this way.

That's heartening! You're still chugging along, finding a venue you're comfortable with instead of quitting completely. If it works for you, then it works, right?

---

I was reading an article just yesterday (unfortunately I can not find it now) concerning how other countries see America's obsession with social media. A good point the article made was that in some cultures it is actually in bad taste to have too many 'friends'. This is do to more friends equaling less time for each relationship and thus more shallow, or perhaps less intimate, relationships overall.

And it's true. Do people really think that your friend list equates relationships? Does that mean people really don't want meaningful relationships and are happy with the surface knowledge that they are "known"?
I'm fascinated by some of the interactions I see on FB. The openness about situations I find intensely private, and the more responses they get the more important and validated they feel.
I would cherish an inquiring phone call about my well being, not someone waiting for me to expose my troubles on a world wide platform. How sincere is to receive any admiration or encouragement when it's prompted as opposed to someone taking the time to seek you out in person?
Everyone loves a band-aid though!

 

[The Good Citizen]

"One would think, as evolved as we are..." There's your mistake right there.

 

[9006]

Hello,

The internet can be a great place, it's allowing people from all walks of life share information and I believe that as humans, we are now more intelligent because of this. Unfortunately, I think the world average immaturity level of the internet is at an all time low, I honestly believe that "decent folk" are hard to come by these days as it is; especially where I'm from.

Anonymity is easy on the internet, and because of this it's all too easy to comment something nasty. I find Social Media quite annoying, you'll find that most people that use Facebook, Twitter, etc.. literally love gossip, weather it's reading what pointless activity their favorite celeb's done or to be the bearer of some news themselves, then obviously it spreads like wild fire.

but like a rubbernecker on the highway

That is the perfect analogy for Social Media. I'm not saying 100% of users are like this, I can also see some benefits of Social Media, but mostly it's used as a tool for "rubberneckers".

But I don't compare the internet to every day life, because talking to someone online, and then in real life are completely different. But I know what you mean about all the negativity, It's the same when you read the papers - there's never good news, or if there is, it's not something that really matters i.e:

"98 year old betty finds her cat after missing for 2 years!"

"Wow great! Forget the soaring unemployment, fuel prices rocketing and more tax, that cat story's put me in a great mood!"

And that story would be used to fill a miniscule space that they couldn't fit any more bad news into, but of course a paper full of good news wouldn't sell (or not nearly as much anyway - you get the idea.

So no, you're not alone

 

[The_Old_Soul]

The Internet is my worst enemy, I wish I could unplug it forever. The thought of not being able to pull up any information, video clip, music or anything in mere seconds is mind boggling. I think I need to at least eliminate that social part of it, that's where my real problems are.

In other words, just use it for research and informational purposes. Other than that, there are too many headaches.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi,
I think we spend way too much time on our cell phones and mobile devices like brain dead woodpeckers. The worst thing is when you're having a face to face conversation with someone and they'll interrupt what you're saying to read a text. I've walked away from a few people who've done that.

I do like facebook, though, it helps me keep in contact with family and friends on the east coast and my brother in Afghanistan. Without facebook, it would be near impossible to have real time communication with my bro.
But the incessant posts about First World problems or what people had for breakfast or how fabulous and perfect their lives and their husbands are has got to go!

Teresa

 

[Cucuboth]

I feel the same way sometimes. Well, most of the time really. I always thought that the Internet would be a place I could fit in to, where I could find people that would accept me, and get to know me. Maybe get to know me enough to be friends, and hopefully, maybe more than friends.

But I don't seem to fit in anywhere. Not even on the Internet. Anyone I've talked to for any length of time always ends up finding someone where they live. Their life gets better, or whatever, and they don't have time for that guy in Australia anymore. Nearly ever even get a goodbye. Now, there's not really anyone I talk to. A couple of people, but emails and chats with them are infrequent. Sometimes months and months apart.

I suppose for me, the Internet is just as lonely as the 'real world'. Which makes loneliness just that much worse, since there is no escape from it. No respite. No matter how temporary.

 

[Phaedron]

What? You think you'd be less lonely without it? I'd go crazy without it. Some people are talking about an internet kill switch. If it happens, I'll solve my loneliness by rioting in the streets.

 

[HumanZ]

What? You think you'd be less lonely without it? I'd go crazy without it.

I was going to say exactly the same.

 

[simplesimonette]

I feel the same way sometimes. Well, most of the time really. I always thought that the Internet would be a place I could fit in to, where I could find people that would accept me, and get to know me. Maybe get to know me enough to be friends, and hopefully, maybe more than friends.

But I don't seem to fit in anywhere. Not even on the Internet. Anyone I've talked to for any length of time always ends up finding someone where they live. Their life gets better, or whatever, and they don't have time for that guy in Australia anymore. Nearly ever even get a goodbye. Now, there's not really anyone I talk to. A couple of people, but emails and chats with them are infrequent. Sometimes months and months apart.

I suppose for me, the Internet is just as lonely as the 'real world'. Which makes loneliness just that much worse, since there is no escape from it. No respite. No matter how temporary.

I hear you. Despite how long I've been on the web, over 10 years now, I've not made one significant relationship. I told my husband that even online I repel people, lol.