The meaning of YOUR life

[Solitary man]

Most people who have registered on this site are lonely people and those who are experiencing existential pain. For whatever reason, our individual lifestyles have led to feelings of social isolation and a sense of detachment. Many of us suffer from depression, low self-esteem and social anxiety, whilst others may have a personality disorder, some other type of mental health problem or just simply be loners.

Whatever the reason for your loneliness, there is no panacea for loneliness, as we are all different people, and different factors are responsible for our loneliness. Some might say 'just get out there and begin socializing with other people', but unfortunately it is possible to feel lonely in a crowded room.

If like me, you are not a religious person, but have sometimes become despondent and asked yourself the ultimate question i.e. 'What is the meaning of it all?', and failed to come up with a satisfactory answer, you may still be in the existential wilderness and feeling rather lost.

"Man's Search for Meaning" is a 1946 book written by Viktor Frankl. It chronicles his experiences in Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Viktor's experiences led him to the conclusion that there was no universal meaning of life, that many people's lives were in fact meaningless, but that we could imbue our lives with 'a sense of meaning' by what we choose to do (or not do) with our lives.

Believers in an afterlife have a sense of purpose in life i.e. to be good Christians/Muslims/Hindus/Jews et al., and to consequently gain entry to the kingdom of heaven. For Atheists and Agnostics, no such light at the end of the tunnel exists, as we either don't believe, or are very reluctant to believe.

I don't want this to be a religious discussion. I simply want you to state what you think the meaning of your (and no-one else's life) is. Why are you here? Are you struggling to find meaning? In light of what I've just said, what do you think you could do to imbue your life with 'a sense' of meaning?

 

[Lippy_Kid]

I think objectively speaking our existence has no meaning whatsoever. That’s not as bleak as it sounds, if you are an atheist you surely share that view, that there is no higher being either testing or controlling our destiny as part of some grand design.

That said we can still attribute meaning to our lives and build something of it but we are buying into an illusion and we should at least be aware of that on some level, we chose to because that’s all we have and we have to do something while we are here or we might as well just say "this is pointless" and jump off a bridge, but our biology and need for preservation prevents us.

I could say my life on earth is to make sure my kids grow up ok and have the opportunity to draw their own conclusions, in once sense they and I are utterly pointless but in another they are the most important things in the world. I suppose if anything the biological need to reproduce is the one scientific meaning we can attribute as a species but that’s within the sub topic of what is our purpose as a species, it chooses to ignore the question of what was the meaning of our species or life in general in the first place? So nothing really no meaning, it was just a chemical reaction governed by the laws of the universe, chaos theory whatever, if mankind could see across the universe and see the same "miracle" has occurred on millions of other planets all probably living in the same isolation they could probably digest that idea but as we can't its a case of "why us, why did we get so lucky?". That’s when they start attributing meaning because they can't step out of themselves and see the random chance and appreciate that if it hadn't been here it would have happened on one of the other trillion star systems and those beings would be asking the same question. It’s exceptionally unlikely that you will win the lottery but it’s virtually certain someone will and when they do, they will probably wonder, "why me"? Well someone had to win, there’s no meaning behind it as hard as that is to sometimes digest.

Sorry just rambling now and avoiding doing work.

 

[Solitary man]

Interesting ramble. I think Darwin probably got it right; our purpose is to mindlessly reproduce, survival of the fittest etc., and when you look around and see the mommys and daddy's and their children everywhere, you begin to think "Are they even aware that they are just slaves to the biological reproductive instinct?".

Many people have kids to provide themselves with a sense of meaning and purpose in life, and beyond reproduction, their lives are utterly devoid of any meaning.

 

[Rosebolt]

The meaning i gave to my life is to experience the beauty this world has to offer, and to learn as much as i can. I do believe in some spiritual stuff, so i guess that helps. However, without all that, i would still have the first mentioned goal to go for.

"Are they even aware that they are just slaves to the biological reproductive instinct?".

Some, i think. Maybe there are people who want to somehow improve the world, and either fail, wanting their kids to take over, or succeed, and, knowing their own mortality, get a kid to take over. Just a random thought that crossed my mind.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

Interesting ramble. I think Darwin probably got it right; our purpose is to mindlessly reproduce, survival of the fittest etc., and when you look around and see the mommys and daddy's and their children everywhere, you begin to think "Are they even aware that they are just slaves to the biological reproductive instinct?".

Many people have kids to provide themselves with a sense of meaning and purpose in life, and beyond reproduction, their lives are utterly devoid of any meaning.

Depends on how you look at it as to whether that’s a good or a bad thing I guess, being meaningless doesn't have to be a bad thing, it can be liberating. People should think "I should stop giving myself a hard time because all this doesn't really matter anyway".

As Bill Hicks said, life "its just a ride". We are free to attribute whatever meaning we wish to it, be it a life's pursuit of climbing every mountain, catching and cataloguing every type of butterfly in the world, drinking yourself to a stupor every night, whatever makes you happy, if you hurt no one you should answer to no one for what you aspire to be. Whatever meaning we do attribute our lives, we can just drop it and start again, that’s the beauty just reinvent our purpose. Life's just the worlds biggest theme park, while we are here we may as well try to make sure we have a go on everything just once but if not well it matters little, unfortunately people forget that and get very sad feeling they are letting someone often themselves down. "fresia it dude, lets go bowling"

 

[khaoz_ferox]

To be the best version of myself I can be. That's it.

 

[quintus]

Maybe to define an idea of how life or the world of man ideally should be and try to make this ideal happen? In vain, of course .

 

[Solitary man]

Depends on how you look at it as to whether that’s a good or a bad thing I guess, being meaningless doesn't have to be a bad thing, it can be liberating. People should think "I should stop giving myself a hard time because all this doesn't really matter anyway".

If meaninglessness is anyone's meaning in life, and that makes them happy, fair play to them.

As Bill Hicks said, life "its just a ride". We are free to attribute whatever meaning we wish to it, be it a life's pursuit of climbing every mountain, catching and cataloguing every type of butterfly in the world, drinking yourself to a stupor every night, whatever makes you happy, if you hurt no one you should answer to no one for what you aspire to be. Whatever meaning we do attribute our lives, we can just drop it and start again, that’s the beauty just reinvent our purpose. Life's just the worlds biggest theme park, while we are here we may as well try to make sure we have a go on everything just once but if not well it matters little, unfortunately people forget that and get very sad feeling they are letting someone often themselves down. "fresia it dude, lets go bowling"

I once knew a girl who described life as "just a ride". She suffered from psychotic depression, was an alcoholic, heavy drug user and promiscuous to the point of contracting STD's, and she did hurt a lot of guys by lying to them, deceiving them, manipulating them and using them. That was her idea of 'life as a ride'.

Of course everyone isn't like that, and life as a theme park where you should try every ride once is a philosophy I can aspire to, just as long as you're not stepping on other people every step of the way, as what you give out in this life you usually receive back in equal measure.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think objectively speaking our existence has no meaning whatsoever.

Yup...this. ^^

 

[WL7.3]

I was just thinking about that book recently and how it gave peace to so many but not to me and others like me. I don't even think of reproduction as a scientific meaning of life since it's all an accident. The urge to do anything is just a by product of the big bang no matter how strong or regularly occurring. To say 'meaning' alludes to design, intent and purpose. I'm not saying I'm 100% decided on these matters, but I think it's either all an accident or all on purpose.

At the same time, these thoughts give me some measure of peace, as an above post mentioned, nothing matters, so stop beating yourself up. It kind of leaves one in a semi-buddhist state by default. There's nothing to get too happy or upset about. Of course we do out of habit, but the effects are shortened and diminished without a subjective meaning, at least in my experience.

On that note, I've been wondering if the quest for fulfillment and a beautiful meaning, beyond general contentment is not as noble as it sounds, that maybe it's just another manifestation of the ego doing its thing; being gluttonous and vain.

 

[Alienated]

Yesterday I received a e mail, that answered that question for me. For those that don't know I have had a extremely hard life and many harder obstacles to overcome that were life threatening. But I am still here after 48 years. And now stuck in a meaningless life.

I belong to another web site to, that I visit. And some months ago talked to a woman that was at her ropes end, and considering suicide. I only talked to her twice, and didn't think I got anywhere, because she just disappeared. But yesterday I got this and it made everything make sense. Why I suffered, why I survived, and why I am here.


Hi there Daniel! You may or may not remember me, but you gave me some very kind advice back in May when I was at the lowest point in my life. I owe you a huge thank you for offering kind words when I really needed them and I believe you saved me from attempting suicide. I was very depressed and had lost a lot of my savings through a gambling problem that lasted months. The bad news is that the problem continued until I lost almost everything I had and didn't know what to do. The good news is that I confided in my parents upon your advice (expecting them to hate me for it) but they cried telling me they could tell I had problems based on my behaviour at the time. They have supported me immensely and without your help I may not have told them, as I considered ending my life. I would like you to know that if you ever want to talk about anything at all, then you have a friend from London that is here to listen! Thanks so much XXX

It made my day !!

 

[Felix]

I think objectively speaking our existence has no meaning whatsoever. That’s not as bleak as it sounds, if you are an atheist you surely share that view, that there is no higher being either testing or controlling our destiny as part of some grand design.

I agree with this, and I think it's a good thing that life is meaningless. We get to make our own meaning.

To me is expressing myself through art. It makes me happy and it fills my void. I can't think of a better way to spend my years until I go back to the eternal darkness of non-existence.

I see reproduction and survival as secondary goals. There is nothing particulary special in that, in my opinion. It's just what animals do...

And I like to add a hint of hedonism to the mix. Stay close to pleasure and avoid pain unless you have to face it to achieve your goals. Aka: fresia bitches. Lotsa bitches!

 

[Peaches]

On that note, I've been wondering if the quest for fulfillment and a beautiful meaning, beyond general contentment is not as noble as it sounds, that maybe it's just another manifestation of the ego doing its thing; being gluttonous and vain.

I agree with the above, but I also believe each of us if the take a deep look inside beyond the despair they can see their soul's purpose (yes, I also don't believe in souls and stuff, but wouldn't it be nice if all that was true?). By "soul's purpose" I mean something that resonates so deeply within that all your body tells you it's true, and you feel a sense of peace and well being. And that can be anything, living in a hut, collecting magazines, but when something is extremely deeply fulfilling, it might be because it is near to one's soul purpose.

About the general meaning of life, what do I know?
But all such intelligence and potential that we all sentient beings have, there must be some kind of purpose, it can't be all to waste, although I personally can't see it. Kindness, is a purpose.

---

I belong to another web site to, that I visit. And some months ago talked to a woman that was at her ropes end, and considering suicide. I only talked to her twice, and didn't think I got anywhere, because she just disappeared. But yesterday I got this and it made everything make sense. Why I suffered, why I survived, and why I am here.

It made my day !!

Alienated, this is so great! your life is all but meaningless

 

[Solitary man]

Yesterday I received a e mail, that answered that question for me. For those that don't know I have had a extremely hard life and many harder obstacles to overcome that were life threatening. But I am still here after 48 years. And now stuck in a meaningless life.

I belong to another web site to, that I visit. And some months ago talked to a woman that was at her ropes end, and considering suicide. I only talked to her twice, and didn't think I got anywhere, because she just disappeared. But yesterday I got this and it made everything make sense. Why I suffered, why I survived, and why I am here.


Hi there Daniel! You may or may not remember me, but you gave me some very kind advice back in May when I was at the lowest point in my life. I owe you a huge thank you for offering kind words when I really needed them and I believe you saved me from attempting suicide. I was very depressed and had lost a lot of my savings through a gambling problem that lasted months. The bad news is that the problem continued until I lost almost everything I had and didn't know what to do. The good news is that I confided in my parents upon your advice (expecting them to hate me for it) but they cried telling me they could tell I had problems based on my behaviour at the time. They have supported me immensely and without your help I may not have told them, as I considered ending my life. I would like you to know that if you ever want to talk about anything at all, then you have a friend from London that is here to listen! Thanks so much XXX

It made my day !!

Did you issue this lady a circumlocutory lecture, offer her a "fix" for her life, accompanied by a plethora of unrequested advice on how she should be thinking, the same way you did with me?

I have a very firm suspicion that you are either a scammer or just someone who enjoys messing with people's heads; still haven't made up my mind. Perhaps a bit of both?

I've seen through your BS strategy already, and you're not very good at what you are trying to do here, as you make it too obvious.

 

[Alienated]

Riiight !! bye bye now... Just add me to your extensive list of disposable people.

 

[EveWasFramed]

ENOUGH. You two stay out of this thread if you can't stop taking swipes at each other.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think music brings meaning to my life. Also writing and reading, and engaging in geeky hobbies.

For instance, I watched a Monty Python movie last night. For those who are not acquainted with Python, please...watch. They are hilarious.

Anyway, after laughing at all sorts of hilarious quotes, I realized that is the bane of my existence. To laugh and have fun. To not take life so seriously. And to enjoy what I have, because eventually it will all be gone.

 

[Garbageman]

^ Gone in a figurative blink of an eye, sorry Muse I couldn't resist. And I haven't watch Monty Python in years. I remember laughing a lot when I did see them. Do you have a favorite?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I haven't watched all of them yet, GarbageMan. I just collected all of them, and am going to spend a lot of time laughing over the next few days.

But The Holy Grail is a favorite. I literally quote whole scenes from there. I grew up watching that film, my mom had me watching it at 10 years old (which was probably kind of inappropriate, but a lot better than what kids are watching nowadays!)

 

[Alienated]

OK Eve I will behave... Hey Garbageman mine was Holy Grail too, but the rest cracked me up too ! I had a girlfriend back then and we watched them all the time together. Remember the Killer rabbit, and the Holy hand grenade ? The Black Knight with just mearly a flesh wound ?

What was the one with the fat guy that blew-up at the restaurant ?