The Opposite of Fear

[Jesse]

Hello my friends. Recently I have discovered power. Power from within myself. Power to overcome fear. I honestly believe that's the key problem we all face. We're afraid of... something. Perhaps we're all afraid of something different, but whatever that fear is, we need to overcome it.

So this is my challenge. Every time FEAR tells you not to do something, do the opposite of what FEAR says. (Unless it's a logical fear, such as not wanting to jump in front of a car. Please don't do anything stupid. ) I wan't you to do the opposite of illogical fear.

For example: My pet store incident. I went to a pet store and was intimidated by a female employee there. FEAR told me to never go back to that store. That fear was illogical. I had nothing to worry about. I had nothing to lose. My fear was that I'd seem awkward, but the truth is I'd be awkward because I was afraid to be myself. I decided to do the opposite of that fear. I went back to that pet store. I didn't run into that girl again, but I've been back several times since then. I know eventually I'll probably see her again. If I do I plan to engage conversation with her should our paths cross.

First you must recognize your illogical fears. Secondly you must decide that it is time not to live in fear. Decide you will not allow illogical fear to influence your decisions. Thirdly, start small. Take little steps. Tackle the small fears first and move up to the biggest things you're afraid of.

You can do it.

 

[discolemonade]

This gives me hope

 

[Jesse]

This gives me hope

Wonderful. That's great to hear!

 

[Badjedidude]

AWESOME!! Keep the attitude going, man, and you're ******* GOLDEN!

I went back to that pet store. I didn't run into that girl again, but I've been back several times since then. I know eventually I'll probably see her again. If I do I plan to engage conversation with her should our paths cross.

Coincidentally, I'm considering returning to a candy shop in the mall. I saw a cute lady there, slightly older than me, and I didn't notice a ring on her finger while she was ringing up my insanely huge purchase of sweets. She had a nice smile. I should totally go back to that candy store and see if she's around.

*thumbs up* Good deal, dude.

 

[Jesse]

AWESOME!! Keep the attitude going, man, and you're ******* GOLDEN!

I went back to that pet store. I didn't run into that girl again, but I've been back several times since then. I know eventually I'll probably see her again. If I do I plan to engage conversation with her should our paths cross.

Coincidentally, I'm considering returning to a candy shop in the mall. I saw a cute lady there, slightly older than me, and I didn't notice a ring on her finger while she was ringing up my insanely huge purchase of sweets. She had a nice smile. I should totally go back to that candy store and see if she's around.

*thumbs up* Good deal, dude.

Do it man! You've got nothing to lose. There's something else very important too. You must realize that women CAN be attracted to you. I don't know what your confidence level is, but all it takes is for you to believe in yourself. After you do that you'll look at women in a different way. You'll look for certain traits in characteristics. You'll be able to pick up right away if that certain lady is a good type for you. When that happens you're doing the selecting of who you want to get to know. You won't be trying to get to know everyone in hopes of someone liking you.

So keep those ideas in mind. Go back to that candy store, not once, but several times or however many times it takes until you see her again. Strike up a random conversation with her. It's easy. Say, hey how's it goin? Or some intro like that. Then when she asks you the same question back you could say "fine" or something like that followed by a comment on how much you love candy. You could comment on an item of clothing she's wearing if you like it on her. If you like her hair you could comment on that.

Keep in mind, you'll be able to sense it if she wants to engage in smalltalk. Pay close attention to how she responds. This will help you know how to steer the conversation.

Most importantly, be yourself. Do the opposite of fear.

 

[Badjedidude]

Do it man! You've got nothing to lose. There's something else very important too. You must realize that women CAN be attracted to you. I don't know what your confidence level is, but all it takes is for you to believe in yourself. After you do that you'll look at women in a different way. You'll look for certain traits in characteristics. You'll be able to pick up right away if that certain lady is a good type for you. When that happens you're doing the selecting of who you want to get to know. You won't be trying to get to know everyone in hopes of someone liking you.

So keep those ideas in mind. Smile Go back to that candy store, not once, but several times or however many times it takes until you see her again. Strike up a random conversation with her. It's easy. Say, hey how's it goin? Or some intro like that. Then when she asks you the same question back you could say "fine" or something like that followed by a comment on how much you love candy. You could comment on an item of clothing she's wearing if you like it on her. If you like her hair you could comment on that.

Keep in mind, you'll be able to sense it if she wants to engage in smalltalk. Pay close attention to how she responds. This will help you know how to steer the conversation.

Most importantly, be yourself. Smile Do the opposite of fear.

Heh...

I don't really have a problem with confidence with women, but it's still nice to hear such kind words and a nice attitude.

Thanks, man. ^_^

P.S. I'm stopping by the candy store this weekend. lol

 

[Jesse]

That's great to hear man. May the Schwartz be with you!

 

[Badjedidude]

May the Schwartz be with you!

Boooop Beeep pphrrrrrshhhhhhhhwoop!

And you, good sir.

 

[JAYtheMAGNIFICENT]

Wait, this is a Spaceballs appreciation thread, isn't it?

 

[Nina]

Jesse--
I literally gave you a said-outloud, "YEAH!" I'm so thrilled to see you taking on this new attitude. You are a "gem" and should have confidence in appraoching ANYONE who crosses your path.

I for the life of me can't figure out why you and bjd don't have women breaking your freaking doors down now!! Jay, You sound like a keeper too!

If you sweet gentleman simply get out there and show the ladies your "awesomeness" great things will happen.

I consider myself a pretty descriminating female, albeit a bit older than you fellows, but I tell ya, if I were your age and NOT married to a man I adore I'd snatch you right up!

Bjd--I'm waiting for the post that says your new interest in the, candy-store babe, has led you to a weight gain!!

 

[SophiaGrace]

I for the life of me can't figure out why you don't have women breaking your freaking doors down now!!

Actually, i think they are, jesse just has to reciprocate.

 

[Avengard]

Great advice!

What actually is the opposite of fear? I'd say it's probably courage.

If you are scared to do something, then it takes courage to make yourself do it.

With courage we can conquer fear.

Maybe it's that power you speak of.

 

[Badjedidude]

Bjd--I'm waiting for the post that says your new interest in the, candy-store babe, has led you to a weight gain!!

Haha... not gonna happen. Since it's candy, I'll just get all sugar-cracked out and end up burning it all off in a fit of violent exercise/activity.

I for the life of me can't figure out why you and bjd don't have women breaking your freaking doors down now!!

It's because I'm partly an ******* and partly a nice guy. Unfortunately, the nice guy part of me doesn't show from afar; if women see me sitting somewhere alone or doing something by myself, they're more likely to assume that I'm busy/angry than anything else. So they don't approach me.

Following this theory, it's up to ME to seek THEM out and show them just how much of a nice ******* I can be! But right now I'm focusing on graduating, and I've put dating on hold for the next couple of months...

...and that, my dear, is the answer to your question.

 

[Jesse]

May the Schwartz be with you!

Boooop Beeep pphrrrrrshhhhhhhhwoop!

And you, good sir.

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine! Now lets see how you handle it!

Wait, this is a Spaceballs appreciation thread, isn't it?

I guess at least partly it is now.

Congratulations Jesse the next step is going to be hard, figuring out levels of attraction.

Like I said this will be the ride of your life, these upcoming moments.

I am glad you realized that you are ******* awesome, it's about time hehe, go forth and kick ass!

I'm figuring out quite a lot for sure. I certainly can't say what's going to happen in the future. I hope to kick some ass though.

Jesse--
I literally gave you a said-outloud, "YEAH!" I'm so thrilled to see you taking on this new attitude. You are a "gem" and should have confidence in appraoching ANYONE who crosses your path.

I for the life of me can't figure out why you and bjd don't have women breaking your freaking doors down now!! Jay, You sound like a keeper too!

If you sweet gentleman simply get out there and show the ladies your "awesomeness" great things will happen.

I consider myself a pretty descriminating female, albeit a bit older than you fellows, but I tell ya, if I were your age and NOT married to a man I adore I'd snatch you right up!

Bjd--I'm waiting for the post that says your new interest in the, candy-store babe, has led you to a weight gain!!

Thanks Nina. Honestly though, I didn't make this thread as any kind of success story for me. My goal is just to share some of the tools I've discovered to help others get through their fears. The purpose of this thread is not for overcoming romantic fear, but fear in general. I hope that these ideas can help people here!

I for the life of me can't figure out why you don't have women breaking your freaking doors down now!!

Actually, i think they are, jesse just has to reciprocate.

You are correct!

Great advice!

What actually is the opposite of fear? I'd say it's probably courage.

If you are scared to do something, then it takes courage to make yourself do it.

With courage we can conquer fear.

Maybe it's that power you speak of.

Yes my friend. Overcoming fear does give you power. It feels quite good. Anyone can have the power of courage, but it does take an effort to get there. We all must be willing to disobey fear.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Holy honeysuckle Jesse that's one hell of a dragon you put in your signature. O_O

 

[spirit_driven]

Thanks for this positive post! I think a lot about fear, and what i am afraid of. Thing is, i am not sure exactly what I am afraid of, but i am sure there are lots of things! thanks, i'll be thinking and doing this a lot more. xx

 

[Nina]

Jesse--Your words will impact many! But while you're kind enough to share some real success with everyone, getting a pat on the back for good work, well done doesn't hurt a bit either.

I agree with Soph, that dragon is AWESOME!!

 

[Jesse]

Holy honeysuckle Jesse that's one hell of a dragon you put in your signature. O_O

It's the one and only Deathwing the Destroyer. He's the baddest dragon ever!

Thanks for this positive post! I think a lot about fear, and what i am afraid of. Thing is, i am not sure exactly what I am afraid of, but i am sure there are lots of things! thanks, i'll be thinking and doing this a lot more. xx

You'll get there. Start thinking of things you avoid doing because of fear then think about whether it's rational to think that way. Be honest. A lot of times we convince ourselves of lies so we won't face things. Determine what your fears are, then you can face them.

Jesse--Your words will impact many! But while you're kind enough to share some real success with everyone, getting a pat on the back for good work, well done doesn't hurt a bit either.

I agree with Soph, that dragon is AWESOME!!

If you guys like lore (even though it's warcraft, his story is awesome) check out this link-

http://www.wowwiki.com/Deathwing

 

[Avengard]

We all must be willing to disobey fear.

Use willpower to act in accordance with courage.

 

[Jesse]

We all must be willing to disobey fear.

Use willpower to act in accordance with courage.

Yessir. It's one thing to figure out your fears and figure out they're irrational, but you must then also act against those fears. That takes courage. It can be built up slowly. Take small steps. Start small talk with people you're less afraid of.