Mitternacht
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- Nov 15, 2010
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- 13
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Hey guys, this is my very first thread here but i've been a lurker for a while now and I think it's time for me to vent. I'm 26 and I just got through a 2 year relationship with an older woman (40) whom had left her husband in Cuba to come to the States. I met her a little over a year after she settled down here in the US when a friend of a friend referred her to me for computer tech support, which I would often do as sort of a side job. The day I went over to do the job, I immediately noticed an attraction coming from her, as she would sort of grab at my hand or arm whenever I made her laugh and tbh, I really liked it So, when I finished up with her computer, I quickly gave her my number and told her she could call me if she had ANY problems at all.
So a few days later she started calling me up with rather silly questions like "how do i change my wallpaper" or "how do I empty the recycle bin" and she would then start to ask me things about myself, so it was becoming pretty obvious that she had some sort of interest in me. Since I've never had any real girlfriends or relationships with girls prior to this one, It took me a while to finally muster up the balls to let her know I was interested in her. She told me she was indeed attracted to me but that she still had her husband back in Cuba who was planning on returning to her whenever he got his visa passport, or whatever. I told her we could just hang out, i'd give her some driving lessons and maybe teach her a little english and that there'd be no commitment whatsoever. She seemed to like the idea.
So now we start to see eachother, a few weeks go by, we finally hook up and before I knew it, we were doing everything together. We'd make out, hold hands, watch TV and cuddle. Pretty much everything I ever dreamed about in a relationship. We spend pretty much every day in each other's company and when we couldn't be together, we'd talk for hours on the phone. She'd say everything short of "i love you" to me
Throughout the whole relationship, though, I always knew that this would come to a crashing end when her husband finally got his papers in order to come to the United States, but I would quickly bury the thought in the back of my mind and just though about all the good times we were still going to have.
Everything went great until the beginning of October of last year when the once daily phone calls started turning into 1 call every 2-3 days and when we would finally speak, it didn't feel like I was talking to the same loving person whom I'd known for so long. I finally asked her what was going on and why she was acting so cold and that's when she told me that she had spoken to her husband and she thought he'd be arriving some time in december. It felt like my heart was torn right out of my chest. In the mean time, she showed seemingly little emotion. I always thought that when this day finally came that she'd be balling her eyes out, but no. Cold as ice.
So we still stayed in contact. We spoke maybe once every week or week and a half, just as friends. On Jan 10th, I decided to send her a picture of myself with the title "for you to remember me by" and to my utter surprise, she sent me two pictures. One of her face and another cleavage shot. I quickly called her, told her how beautiful she looked, that I missed her so much and much to my surprise, she wasn't cold to me anymore. She spoke to me like she would when we were going out. Since her husband didn't arrive as expected, I thought there was still hope for at least one more time together, so I asked her if she'd like to see me again. She said "we'll see" and the she didn't want to hurt my feelings anymore than she already has. The conversation ended with "Te quiero" (spanish for I care for you) and a couple of over-the-phone kisses from her.
I was so full of anticipation with the thought of possibly seeing her again that I decided to ring her up a couple of days ago to ask her out to a movie or something. And now, out of the blue, she's completely ignoring all my calls, texts and e-mails. I think she's completely cut me off now. I tried calling today and all I get is the f*cking answering machine! I just can't wrap my mind around it. Is she doing it for my own good? Does she really not feel anything for me anymore after 2 years? Why doesn't she miss me as much as I thought she would? was she just using me all this time? did she get bored of me? these questions are all I can think of now. I feel so used and so much resentment towards her, I don't understand how she just ignore me like this. I'd never be able to to it to her without feeling terrible.
I guess the worst part of getting dumped is still caring for someone who no longer cares for you. Any other alpha dude would just find himself a rebound date f*ck her brains out and move on with his life, but since I'm such a social retard, that's easier said than done. I still keep this phone on me at all times and jump at anything that sounds remotely like a ring. HAHA, I'm pathetic.
Sorry this is so long guys, but I just had to get this all off my chest. I don't really expect many replies, but your perspective on this situation is more than welcome. Thanks.
So a few days later she started calling me up with rather silly questions like "how do i change my wallpaper" or "how do I empty the recycle bin" and she would then start to ask me things about myself, so it was becoming pretty obvious that she had some sort of interest in me. Since I've never had any real girlfriends or relationships with girls prior to this one, It took me a while to finally muster up the balls to let her know I was interested in her. She told me she was indeed attracted to me but that she still had her husband back in Cuba who was planning on returning to her whenever he got his visa passport, or whatever. I told her we could just hang out, i'd give her some driving lessons and maybe teach her a little english and that there'd be no commitment whatsoever. She seemed to like the idea.
So now we start to see eachother, a few weeks go by, we finally hook up and before I knew it, we were doing everything together. We'd make out, hold hands, watch TV and cuddle. Pretty much everything I ever dreamed about in a relationship. We spend pretty much every day in each other's company and when we couldn't be together, we'd talk for hours on the phone. She'd say everything short of "i love you" to me
Throughout the whole relationship, though, I always knew that this would come to a crashing end when her husband finally got his papers in order to come to the United States, but I would quickly bury the thought in the back of my mind and just though about all the good times we were still going to have.
Everything went great until the beginning of October of last year when the once daily phone calls started turning into 1 call every 2-3 days and when we would finally speak, it didn't feel like I was talking to the same loving person whom I'd known for so long. I finally asked her what was going on and why she was acting so cold and that's when she told me that she had spoken to her husband and she thought he'd be arriving some time in december. It felt like my heart was torn right out of my chest. In the mean time, she showed seemingly little emotion. I always thought that when this day finally came that she'd be balling her eyes out, but no. Cold as ice.
So we still stayed in contact. We spoke maybe once every week or week and a half, just as friends. On Jan 10th, I decided to send her a picture of myself with the title "for you to remember me by" and to my utter surprise, she sent me two pictures. One of her face and another cleavage shot. I quickly called her, told her how beautiful she looked, that I missed her so much and much to my surprise, she wasn't cold to me anymore. She spoke to me like she would when we were going out. Since her husband didn't arrive as expected, I thought there was still hope for at least one more time together, so I asked her if she'd like to see me again. She said "we'll see" and the she didn't want to hurt my feelings anymore than she already has. The conversation ended with "Te quiero" (spanish for I care for you) and a couple of over-the-phone kisses from her.
I was so full of anticipation with the thought of possibly seeing her again that I decided to ring her up a couple of days ago to ask her out to a movie or something. And now, out of the blue, she's completely ignoring all my calls, texts and e-mails. I think she's completely cut me off now. I tried calling today and all I get is the f*cking answering machine! I just can't wrap my mind around it. Is she doing it for my own good? Does she really not feel anything for me anymore after 2 years? Why doesn't she miss me as much as I thought she would? was she just using me all this time? did she get bored of me? these questions are all I can think of now. I feel so used and so much resentment towards her, I don't understand how she just ignore me like this. I'd never be able to to it to her without feeling terrible.
I guess the worst part of getting dumped is still caring for someone who no longer cares for you. Any other alpha dude would just find himself a rebound date f*ck her brains out and move on with his life, but since I'm such a social retard, that's easier said than done. I still keep this phone on me at all times and jump at anything that sounds remotely like a ring. HAHA, I'm pathetic.
Sorry this is so long guys, but I just had to get this all off my chest. I don't really expect many replies, but your perspective on this situation is more than welcome. Thanks.