Thank you, for sharing your story and advice morrowrd. It really helped put things into perspective. I caught this just before heading out to work. I chose the earlier shift, but I knew, secretly, there was a chance to meet her on the shift change and have been keeping an eye for her, to say hello, and even to confess my feelings after 9 months! It is perhaps for the best, I have not seen her— she may have left the job. The problem is, perhaps, in the way I wrote the story. As she did follow all the signs of reciprocating, inviting to me to sit and talk with her, laughing at my jokes, touching my arm, casting glances, and staring at me every opportunity. Her boyfriend caught on to this, argued with her, huffed and stormed off. I think it was my own insecurities, for not flat out asking for her number, or if she would be interested in meeting outside for a drink. But then, she could always have been simply trying to make her boyfriend jealous. I've been out of relationships, and in the main out of friendship for almost 10 years. So it is all very confusing to me. Everything is so subtle, and I think women have been very successful in transferring all the risk onto men. The job is even more grueling and demeaning than I remember. And finding myself amongst 20-25y.o foreigners who barely speak English, and are using this money to send home or as a stepping-stone for work in UK. Everyone is looking at me odd for even being there—never mind returning. What a folly. Even if, I had missed my opportunity, it is the inability to the let go of the "what if", that is truly delusional.
I think I will try to get fired today. By doing zero work. And put an end to another sad chapter in my life.
Thanks again.
(couldn't figure out how to close my account)
I think I will try to get fired today. By doing zero work. And put an end to another sad chapter in my life.
Thanks again.
(couldn't figure out how to close my account)
