The secret to inner peace

[AskingtheEarth]

This is mainly centred around self-esteem.

I have found in life that feeling bad about myself has always ended... well, badly. All of this self-loathing, wishing I could be something that I'm not.

It took me until recently (I'm in my 30s) but one day it was like a light switch came on over my head. Suddenly, I realised the route to banishing all these "I wish I was..." notions - and it's nothing more complex than accepting yourself for your faults as well as your good points.

I'm a sad, useless failure of a man. I'm a creepy-looking overweight loser. I'm a socially inept freak with no career prospects. This is me. I am what I am.

I know there will be people now rushing to type out 'I'm sure you're not all those things', and as nice as those sentiments are, they are completely unnecessary and will only make me laugh. Which can only be good, so please, still feel free to type them! But the long and short of it is, I know that I'm all of these things, and I've accepted that I'm all of these things - and most importantly of all, I've trained myself to be happy that I'm all of these things.

I don't know if this will help anyone. A lot of people will find it absolutely ridiculous. But it's the way I've learnt to cope, and I'm throwing it out there just in case... if it can help just one person, it's been worth typing out.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I can also be peaceful and accept myself making positive changes in my life
My living condition and experinces. At my own pace and perference.
No need to compete and compare myself to anyone.
I do what I deem is beneficial, positve and productive for me.

yeah..I stopped the self rejection bit. Love myself as I am, for the moment.
I don't judge or am critical of myself. So I sure as hell aint gatta worry
what other thimks of me either

Some people wanna tell me to grow and all that stupid honeysuckle. Getting critical and insane.
Still on those trainning wheels.
Im peaceful at telling mother fucken ******** to fresia off too.
I dont need approval or permission to live.
I like me....

I aint fat or none of that. I dont feel sad all the time. If i feel sad tha'ts ok too..it dosnt last forever.
Ive accomplish lots in my life. So i cant even classify myself as a total looser.
I win some. i lose some....
Im going through a living situations that's not to my liking or perfernce. Its not me or who I am. It's just the current state of afair.
I can distinguish myself from life situations.

Whatever float your boat...dude
Its all good.

 

[ardour]

Accepting it doesn't mean you can't change some of it.

But yeah that whole "work on you" default response thing can be tiresome. It usually comes in the form of "advice" from those who are good looking, and merely want an excuse to not give you a chance.

 

[paulo]

accepting your self is good,
giving up isnt,
and fooling your self won`t work forever.

 

[Phaedron]

I know a kind of peace that surpasses all understanding...

 

[ajdass1]

You're absolutely right. "Failure," "Creepy," "Overweight," these are all subjective terms, societal constructs. I'm really glad that you're happy with yourself. If you don't want to change, why the fresia should you? If you're not violating anyone's rights and you're content, that's good enough for me.

 

[AdamGoldman]

@Asking The Earth,
you are RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

In my years of depression I HATED when people tried
to cheer me up with lame statements.

We are what we are.

Tho like @rdor said,
working and improving ourselves and our lives is always possible.