There has to be....

[Alonewith2cats]

a better life than getting off my 2nd bus after work, walking towards my home through my neighborhood feeling sad, crying, getting home, feeding the cats, turning on the radio or TV for "company" and to drown out the silence of my home, crying some more, feeling the emptiness in my chest, having a panic attack, wheezing, blowing my nose, cooking dinner for one, putting in another Threes Company DVD to temporary distract myself and make myself laugh, admiring Jack Tripper, coming back to reality, crying, blowing my nose, going to bed and sleeping for only 5 hours if I'm lucky, waking up with swollen eyelids and going back to work in the morning.

 

[Garbageman]

Hi, I am sorry you are so alone, and feeling the way you do. I know it doesn't help but if we were not on opposite sides of the country I would spend some time with you, even if it were to just watch Threes Company . I haven't seen that show in years.

There must be some hope for things to be better, if just from reading 1 paragraph I would want to hang out, there must be some people somewhere in your neck of the woods. Its just finding them.

Don't give up hope, I really hope you can find a way to get some more enjoyment out of your life. Take care

 

[Tiina63]

I would also spend time with you if we lived near each other. I don't know what to say to console you as I am equally as alone as you are. Is there anything social going on by you which you could join?

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I would also spend time with you if we lived near each other. I don't know what to say to console you as I am equally as alone as you are. Is there anything social going on by you which you could join?

Monday night I went karayoke with a couple of girl friends and I had a good time. I've taken up bike riding on the weekends, I do that alone but when I'm bike riding I'm happy whether alone or with someone because it's something I enjoy, then I have lunch or dinner in Pacific Beach. And I love yummy japanese food. I simply date myself and make the best of it. And I was fine last Saturday. But it doesn't change the coming home after work blues during the week. It's a secret I keep to myself because I take so much pride in my independence.

But this state of being alone and depressed, when I'm feeling it, it's like a torture to be alive. I'm strong enough to stay alive in spite of it but if things were to stay the same 10 years from now, I don't know.

I called in sick to work today. On Monday night when I went out I only got 2 hours of sleep and went to work Tuesday. But the next 3 nights I didn't get enough sleep due to depression so I didn't recover from Monday night. So now I'm not going to work on Thursday. I was supposed to have a date sometime this week but he flaked, which turned out to be a real dissappointment, he should have told me he is not interested instead of "Let's get together sometime next week" but I don't want to let men get me down.

 

[theglasscell]

I would also spend time with you if we lived near each other. I don't know what to say to console you as I am equally as alone as you are. Is there anything social going on by you which you could join?

Monday night I went karayoke with a couple of girl friends and I had a good time. I've taken up bike riding on the weekends, I do that alone but when I'm bike riding I'm happy whether alone or with someone because it's something I enjoy, then I have lunch or dinner in Pacific Beach. And I love yummy japanese food. I simply date myself and make the best of it. And I was fine last Saturday. But it doesn't change the coming home after work blues during the week. It's a secret I keep to myself because I take so much pride in my independence.

But this state of being alone and depressed, when I'm feeling it, it's like a torture to be alive. I'm strong enough to stay alive in spite of it but if things were to stay the same 10 years from now, I don't know.

I called in sick to work today. On Monday night when I went out I only got 2 hours of sleep and went to work Tuesday. But the next 3 nights I didn't get enough sleep due to depression so I didn't recover from Monday night. So now I'm not going to work on Thursday. I was supposed to have a date sometime this week but he flaked, which turned out to be a real dissappointment, he should have told me he is not interested instead of "Let's get together sometime next week" but I don't want to let men get me down.

I was in a similar situation for years after I got divorced.

I think it's awesome that you watch Three's Company. I love that show.

I have to come home alone since I get off at work at 8 in the morning. I was going to boxing for a while after work and that helped, but it was too expensive to keep going to the gym I used.

Don't worry about ten years in the future though, it's not important today.

One thing I find that helps me is that I have a indoor trainer for my bike. I ride it while watching TV. It usually puts me in a good mood and I feel less lonely.

Just keep in touch with your friends I guess, it's the only thing that works for me. I felt so bad the other morning I was just gonna give up a go back to drinking again but my friend talked me out of it after I texted him.

Maybe find some creative outlet. I used to love to write fiction and I never felt lonely when I was doing that. I am trying to get back into that habit of doing that again.

Dating can be hard, don't worry about the guy flaking on the date. It seems to happen a lot with guys or girls.

 

[Superman]

I think the only real way around the 'coming home after work blues' is not living by yourself. I lived alone for some time but have decided that it's not for me. I want to have people around, doesn't really matter what they do. It's a feeling a human being needs, I think. Perhaps you could look into co-housing or something similar?

Regardless, if distance wasn't an issue, I would also spend time with you or anyone else who expresses a desire to be less lonely.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I think the only real way around the 'coming home after work blues' is not living by yourself. I lived alone for some time but have decided that it's not for me. I want to have people around, doesn't really matter what they do. It's a feeling a human being needs, I think. Perhaps you could look into co-housing or something similar?

Regardless, if distance wasn't an issue, I would also spend time with you or anyone else who expresses a desire to be less lonely.

I definitely have co-housing in mind for the future but with a special type of roommate (lover, boyfriend, husband). You see, I own my own place. I have only one bedroom with one queen-sized bed. The second bedroom is not a bedroom at all, but a computer room and litter-box room. I could never have someone sleep in there and smell cat poo, gross. Additionally I love the freedom and control I have in owning my place, it's truly my home this way. If I had one of those roommates, not only would I have to make them pay rent, my last boyfriend got too comfortable and lived off me and that's why we broke up, I wouldn't be able to bring my future lover, boyfriend or husband or even just dates over, even to snuggle on the couch because I would have to make compromises for my roommate. I also have the freedom to throw parties by being totally in charge of my home and I do, it's just that parties and having friends over are temporary fun, but when the party is over it's over. Regardless of the highs and lows of being single and living alone I can't give up this control of having my place be my place, and having a roommate would change that (no place for platonic roommates to sleep anyway, except the couch and that won't work, just the occasional slumber party in which they go home the next day works). I guess I'm just trying to find a way be happy for as long as I have to live this lifestyle but when I find happiness it's always temporary, and then the dark cloud days always come back.

I have family living in other cities. I tried telling my Mom how I feel. She pointed out to me that there are people who are hermits and they're happy. Unfortunately I can't be a happy hermit.

I would like to say to the 3 people who said they would spend time with me, thank you, if you lived in San Diego we could have a Threes Company, pizza and wine party and if you get too drunk, you can crash on my couch.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'd send you some cookies or cupcakes if I could. To comfort you. Sorry you are in this situation.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I'd send you some cookies or cupcakes if I could. To comfort you. Sorry you are in this situation.

Thank you. But cookies and cupcakes are fattening and I would rather lose the pounds than gain them. I'm going bike riding tomorrow. That always makes me feel better.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'll make some low-calorie/low-fat ones for you.

And yes, usually doing such physical activities does help relieve some tension.

 

[Garbageman]

Hey there, I love cycling, it is one of those activities that can be fun with others but is often more fun by yourself, at least I always thought so. When I ride my bike I feel like all my troubles melt away and disappear. Here are a couple of quotes that I thought you might like pertaining to cycling.

"The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community." ~Ann Strong

"When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking."
~Arthur Conan Doyle

"Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling." ~ James E. Starrs

"Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of riding a bike.~ John F. Kennedy

Take care, Gman

 

[ardour]

That's a lot of crying and sleep loss. Perhaps you're clinically depressed and need to seek help (if you haven't already)

Get off at an earlier stop and walk part of the way home. Pretty lame advice, but I find that helps.

 

[Tiina63]

I would also spend time with you if we lived near each other. I don't know what to say to console you as I am equally as alone as you are. Is there anything social going on by you which you could join?

Monday night I went karayoke with a couple of girl friends and I had a good time. I've taken up bike riding on the weekends, I do that alone but when I'm bike riding I'm happy whether alone or with someone because it's something I enjoy, then I have lunch or dinner in Pacific Beach. And I love yummy japanese food. I simply date myself and make the best of it. And I was fine last Saturday. But it doesn't change the coming home after work blues during the week. It's a secret I keep to myself because I take so much pride in my independence.

But this state of being alone and depressed, when I'm feeling it, it's like a torture to be alive. I'm strong enough to stay alive in spite of it but if things were to stay the same 10 years from now, I don't know.

I called in sick to work today. On Monday night when I went out I only got 2 hours of sleep and went to work Tuesday. But the next 3 nights I didn't get enough sleep due to depression so I didn't recover from Monday night. So now I'm not going to work on Thursday. I was supposed to have a date sometime this week but he flaked, which turned out to be a real dissappointment, he should have told me he is not interested instead of "Let's get together sometime next week" but I don't want to let men get me down.

It sounds as though you are more emotionally lonely (missing a significant other) rather than socially lonely. I am the same, so understand where you are coming from. It is so annoying when people say 'go out more' or 'take up something new' if we mention our loneliness when we are already going out and doing things and what we are missing is a close relationship and not just social contact. I hope that your day off work yesterday helped you get more sleep. I am sorry that the man you were supposed to have a date with wimped out on you. Finding a relationship does get so much harder when we get older. Many men are already taken and many of those who are left have difficulties in their lives.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I would also spend time with you if we lived near each other. I don't know what to say to console you as I am equally as alone as you are. Is there anything social going on by you which you could join?

Monday night I went karayoke with a couple of girl friends and I had a good time. I've taken up bike riding on the weekends, I do that alone but when I'm bike riding I'm happy whether alone or with someone because it's something I enjoy, then I have lunch or dinner in Pacific Beach. And I love yummy japanese food. I simply date myself and make the best of it. And I was fine last Saturday. But it doesn't change the coming home after work blues during the week. It's a secret I keep to myself because I take so much pride in my independence.

But this state of being alone and depressed, when I'm feeling it, it's like a torture to be alive. I'm strong enough to stay alive in spite of it but if things were to stay the same 10 years from now, I don't know.

I called in sick to work today. On Monday night when I went out I only got 2 hours of sleep and went to work Tuesday. But the next 3 nights I didn't get enough sleep due to depression so I didn't recover from Monday night. So now I'm not going to work on Thursday. I was supposed to have a date sometime this week but he flaked, which turned out to be a real dissappointment, he should have told me he is not interested instead of "Let's get together sometime next week" but I don't want to let men get me down.

It sounds as though you are more emotionally lonely (missing a significant other) rather than socially lonely. I am the same, so understand where you are coming from. It is so annoying when people say 'go out more' or 'take up something new' if we mention our loneliness when we are already going out and doing things and what we are missing is a close relationship and not just social contact. I hope that your day off work yesterday helped you get more sleep. I am sorry that the man you were supposed to have a date with wimped out on you. Finding a relationship does get so much harder when we get older. Many men are already taken and many of those who are left have difficulties in their lives.

You are right about me being emotionally lonely. I definitely am desiring that close relationship, it's just a dream right now. I do however benefit from social contact. I don't cry when I'm with people. I only cry alone. But I'm not able to be with people every day so the days when I'm not out socializing or doing something are the days I feel most sad, and I'm sadder at home than I am out. Bike riding is amazing, it's a temporary escape and not a solution because once the bike ride is over, it's over, just like socializing, but I certainly feel great when I'm doing it, even alone. So that's my plan for today after a guy comes over to take care of the roaches in my apartment. Because I'm not going to work today either. I promise not to make a habit out of playing hookie from work due to depression. I don't want to get fired.

 

[Regumika]

since you live in SD.. and you go out (often it seems) would you like to do something... cheap? (or free even, strolling?) i live in vista. with weekends off. i can voice chat, IM, and text as alternatives. i know there is always hesitance in these kind of things but i promise im not a creep.

if it can minimize your lonely time...

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I get what you all are saying about it being annoying when people tell you to get out and and try new things. However, this is the ONLY way to meet someone new. And if your current activity isn't bringing in any possibilities for friends or romance you might want to consider it whether you like the idea or not. Because what you're doing isn't working, right?

Also, another good idea is possibly looking into volunteer programs in your area. A local animal shelter would be an excellent way to meet new people. Why? People love animals, including single people who are lonely and need a friend.

 

[Mundane]

There is always a better life, but it is never free.
You are gonna have to work for it, some may have to work more than the norm and some of those I imagine have ended up here.

Having said all that I do feel like a hypocrite... I can never put on such simple logic to my own problems, It is hard, well do I know that but there is also reward.