disintigration
Member
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2013
- Messages
- 15
- Reaction score
- 0
I've been wanting to bawl my eyes out lately. Life is unbearable.
I have 0 friends. I don't have a job. I have nothing to do. I go to university but that is over for the summer. I have no money. I live in a city and there is no where to escape other than a local park.
My family are the only people I talk to but I've been distancing myself from them for a long time - I'm too depressed to socialise. They don't believe that I have depression. Shyness has also crippled me. I have two nieces but they don't acknowledge me any more, I'm too shy and too depressed to talk to anyone. In all honesty, I'm totally worthless.
I don't know how to get out of this hole. I've been mulling the idea of moving away for my remaining years of university, but I could end up completely alone without even my family around.
I tried SSRIs from the doctor, but they didn't work. I tried therapy but it didn't shake me up enough to take control of my life - this is what depression does, it drains me and leaves me feeling numb.
If I'm not wandering the streets like a ghost I'm trapped in my room 24/7. Everyone else my age have moved on with their lives. I'm a loner, a mute, a broken person.
I should also add that I've never had a girlfriend (shyness). At 25 I'm becoming increasingly worried about my lack of meaningful relationships. I'm drifting further apart from society and I've missed out on lots of key development stages. In reality I feel like I've never grown up.
I just don't know what to do any more. I can't connect with life. I don't want to be around any more I feel like there is no hope for me.
I have 0 friends. I don't have a job. I have nothing to do. I go to university but that is over for the summer. I have no money. I live in a city and there is no where to escape other than a local park.
My family are the only people I talk to but I've been distancing myself from them for a long time - I'm too depressed to socialise. They don't believe that I have depression. Shyness has also crippled me. I have two nieces but they don't acknowledge me any more, I'm too shy and too depressed to talk to anyone. In all honesty, I'm totally worthless.
I don't know how to get out of this hole. I've been mulling the idea of moving away for my remaining years of university, but I could end up completely alone without even my family around.
I tried SSRIs from the doctor, but they didn't work. I tried therapy but it didn't shake me up enough to take control of my life - this is what depression does, it drains me and leaves me feeling numb.
If I'm not wandering the streets like a ghost I'm trapped in my room 24/7. Everyone else my age have moved on with their lives. I'm a loner, a mute, a broken person.
I should also add that I've never had a girlfriend (shyness). At 25 I'm becoming increasingly worried about my lack of meaningful relationships. I'm drifting further apart from society and I've missed out on lots of key development stages. In reality I feel like I've never grown up.
I just don't know what to do any more. I can't connect with life. I don't want to be around any more I feel like there is no hope for me.