This is me looking for an outlet.

[ColbyKristoff]

I'm Colby Kristoff, and this is my life as of July 30th, 2012. I'm an atheist living in Utah, which on top of being a boring nothing of a state, is filled with Mormons. My home is one filled with religious folks. As a result my mother and father generally avoid me unless it's absolutely necessary. I have bouts of depression and, despite the therapy, I still end up feeling borderline suicidal every couple of months.
One of those bouts began a couple months ago and it was around that time my girlfriend of a year left me on the premise that she, "Needed God in her life and that she couldn't have god in her life with me in it. Needless to say this stung quite a bit and I've been feeling more lonely than usual.
I don't know what I'm expecting from posting here, but I guess it got my stuff out into the Internet.

 

[veronica]

Hi Colby I hear you!

 

[Limlim]

I hear stories of Utah like that all the time. It sounds like a really messed up place.

 

[Ox Blood]

That has to be really difficult... Family on my mom's side is somewhat religious. "Jack-mormons", I guess you'd say, even though my late grandfather was a bishop in NV and later moved to UT.

How old are you, if I may ask? And do you plan to go to college -- that may be a way for you to get out of that environment and not feel so isolated.

 

[hopsfox]

Welcome to ALL. Please go on the chat sometimes

 

[ColbyKristoff]

I'm 17 and plan on going to college.

 

[Ox Blood]

That's awesome Out of state college?

 

[ColbyKristoff]

Unless something goes terribly wrong, yes.

 

[ShybutHi]

Well in my opinion, look forwards and try sticking with it with your head up high and move out of there as soon as possible. Anyone who condemns others for their religious views or lack of religious views are definatly not worth your time.

It sounds as if the people around your area are very judgmental of others who do not hold their same philosophical viewpoint. That is incredibly ignorant.

 

[PlasticSpork]

Hopefully when you go to the out of state college, you'll meet other new people who are more accepting of you regardless of your religion. Meeting and forming good connections with new friends can make a difference in your mental well-being and I'm hoping this will happen for me as well; since I'm also going to college in the fall.

What do you use to treat your depression besides the therapy?

 

[Parabolani]

At least you got dumped for God and not some ******.

 

[Montreal Skye]

I agree, making a big change is the best way to start, I hope you find a good out of state college. I was condemned by fundamentalist Christian parents as a demon because I wasn't sure about my beliefs. When I turned 18 I left and never really looked back. It was tough because I never had any family support, basically left on my own. But it was a great decision in hindsight. Good luck. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. You'll find more progressive-thinking people in college, I'm sure of that.

 

[ColbyKristoff]

Hopefully when you go to the out of state college, you'll meet other new people who are more accepting of you regardless of your religion. Meeting and forming good connections with new friends can make a difference in your mental well-being and I'm hoping this will happen for me as well; since I'm also going to college in the fall.

What do you use to treat your depression besides the therapy?

I've only ever seen my therapist about my depression.

 

[ColbyKristoff]

At least you got dumped for God and not some ******.

Yeah, but she said it as if being with me was a sin, and maybe it technically is, I'm not sure. It still hurts that being with me was a sin in her mind, it made me feel like I was little more than a temptation in her eyes.

 

[ColbyKristoff]

Well, I'm officially over the girl who dumped me for god. What really bugged me was I was considering converting and leaving behind a core part of me for a relationship which, with a little outside observation, was very flawed. Even if I'm still lonely and depressed I've made the realization that it's those times in our life that we don't think we can live through that make us stronger and give us the ability to make it through.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

Keep your head up Colby - if you're going out of state for school, then you'll meet a TON of new, awesome, interesting people.

There are activity clubs, bars, pubs, parties, and classes where you'll have a little over a billion chances to meet amazing people.
I guarantee you that a lot of those people will be female! :d:d:d