This too shall pass

[TwoButFeelLikeOne]

Hello all. I was looking for a place to go to express my sadness of what my life has become. I'm not sure this is the place but here I am.
I am living with a guy for 6 years that is bi polar and usually he is very depressed. I never knew you could feel so lonely while living with someone you feel you love.
What I have discovered is I can't fix him but he can certainly destroy my normal zest for life if I don't take hold of what is left of me.

So that's my story.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Regardless of what problems he may have, you have to remember to take care of yourself too. Help him when you can, but set boundaries to keep yourself sane and okay.

Welcome to the forum

 

[TwoButFeelLikeOne]

Regardless of what problems he may have, you have to remember to take care of yourself too. Help him when you can, but set boundaries to keep yourself sane and okay.

Welcome to the forum

Thank you for the reply. I haven't been real good at setting boundaries and I do tend to let him drag me into his drama.
I hold this all in and hide it from friends and family so he isn't tarnished in their eyes but then that leaves me feeling very alone with my (his!) problems. I find I also am isolating myself so I don't have to explain "where he is". Kind of sucks.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hello there, welcome to the forum. Hope you'll find what you're looking for here.

 

[TwoButFeelLikeOne]

Ty Lady. Me too. But I'm not sure what it is I'm needing. Lol

 

[ladyforsaken]

Maybe you just need some people to talk to who can understand your situation or just find some people you can have a good conversation with. Or just visit the games section to play the game threads.

 

[Serephina]

I agree with what others have said on this thread. You need to concentrate on you and do things for you that make you feel a lot better and also socialise with other people whether it's on this forum or off the board. This wouldn't just be good for you but if you're a lot happier and less stressed the effects will probably overspill on to your partner.

 

[Tom3]

Hello all. I was looking for a place to go to express my sadness of what my life has become. I'm not sure this is the place but here I am.
I am living with a guy for 6 years that is bi polar and usually he is very depressed. I never knew you could feel so lonely while living with someone you feel you love.
What I have discovered is I can't fix him but he can certainly destroy my normal zest for life if I don't take hold of what is left of me.

So that's my story.

I agree....it can be the most lonely when you are with someone who always takes all of the oxygen in the room.

I am my wife's caretaker. There is not romance in that, only doctor visits. It is the most lonely situation. I think all caretakers should get together and for a dating group. One of the members of the group watches the sick spouse while the other finds romance on a date with someone also in the group. Who would make a better boy or girlfriend than a giver??
tom

 

[TwoButFeelLikeOne]

I like the way you think Tom! At least you made me smile. First time all day. Thank you for that!

 

[Tom3]

You are so welcome. I don't mind the mundane things like cooking and cleaning and shopping. I also have a job. I don't mind taking care of my wife, but when you are a caretaker, it changes things, it is no longer a romance but a nursing home. I miss the smell of a womans' perfume, the sound of a woman telling me her thoughts, the kisses and the karma of romance.
Most guys, contrary to what the tv says, are not as into sex as they are as into the need, the dull aching need of a sweetheart.
t.