Time to make amends...best way to do it?

[fuzzybutt]

After maybe 2 months I've decided that it's time apologize to someone who once called me their friend.

She never did me any wrong but I embarrassed myself thinking she did and then sent her a stupid email claiming she had issues and to get help but...we all have issues. She hasn't talked to me since.

So now I need some advice on how to apologize. I am fully prepared now since every feeling is gone except my guilt. I've written down what I want to say and will carefully go over it many times to make sure it won't make things worse.

She has blocked my number so my choices are as follow...and I want to do this verbally:

Call her with another phone and tell her over the phone
Call her and ask her to meet me at a park or something
Or just wait for her at the place she likes to go most nights by herself (a park)

If you have any other suggestions go ahead. Though I think face to face is the best option. I'm done typing or writing to people about problems.

 

[Okiedokes]

I'd try option 1 first and see. If that fails, I guess option 3 but be prepared for her to possibly be alarmed by this. At least you'd get to say everything you needed to without being cut off.

Just being completely honest and saying how you didn't understand and were wrong etc, whatever feels right to you to say.

 

[fuzzybutt]

I'd try option 1 first and see. If that fails, I guess option 3 but be prepared for her to possibly be alarmed by this. At least you'd get to say everything you needed to without being cut off.

Just being completely honest and saying how you didn't understand and were wrong etc, whatever feels right to you to say.

Option 1 does sound like the best possible course. But how do I keep myself from second guessing? For example, after posting this thread I suddenly felt relieved for a bit. And apologizing seemed unnecessary.

 

[Callie]

She blocked your number for a reason, so I don't think calling her is the way you would want to go about making amends to her. How about an email? Or even snail mail? Or a friend to ask her if she would talk to you?
Give the option to HER to decide if she wants your amends, don't force it on her. That's just my opinion, of course. Good luck

 

[fuzzybutt]

She blocked your number for a reason, so I don't think calling her is the way you would want to go about making amends to her. How about an email? Or even snail mail? Or a friend to ask her if she would talk to you?
Give the option to HER to decide if she wants your amends, don't force it on her. That's just my opinion, of course. Good luck

I didn't think about that. I'm just trying to make sure this isn't as complicated as it should be.

I don't know if asking a friend would work. One of my friends? I don't know any of her friends. I never met them. I could get my sister to ask her. My sister knows about the whole thing. But they've never talked.

The thing is I feel I've done my worst already by email. Maybe she's blocked all my email addresses. Could you give me more input? I'm really serious about this.

 

[Tiina63]

I think that asking your sister would be the best option. She might feel less pressured talking to a third party.
Option 3-waiting for her somewhere she goes might scare her too much. It would frighten me.

 

[applepear]

You should call her with another phone and tell her over the phone. Option 3 is a litte creepy/stalkerish. I think you need to go through option 1 before going through option 2, cuz theres no way she'll meet you so suddenly after what happen. Good luck

 

[fuzzybutt]

Understood. I'm just scared every now and then. You know I don't know how bad a mess I made and I promised her I wouldn't bother her. But the guilt eats away at me a lot.

Maybe it's because there isn't much going on in my life at the moment?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

All your options are creepy.
Making amend was never about making yourself feel better.
It's about making restitutions.
Ive hurted people that I love very much and the honeysuckle flies both ways.
People had cutted me out of thier lives of the things Ive said and done.

Learning to forgive myself and living with myself was never easy.
Work on me....I wasnt ready to make certain amends cuase
I didnt know how to fucken handle rejections too well either.

It's a 50/50 that I might get accepted or rejected.

Remose would be recognizing my mistakes and try not to do those
same mistakes again.

Guilt would be self damnations...

As for me.....It would take years and decades for the people
that cutted me off to make contact with me. I cuased that much
damnage. And I would be accountible for the wreackages ive render for as long as I breathe to
set matters right. And it's a lttle bit difficult if they still have a lot of mother fucken issues
and need to work on themselves. TIMING....TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

Amends sure as fresia aint about instant gradifications.

[youtube]eHbNU9WuVgw[/youtube]

 

[fuzzybutt]

You know Lonesome, at first I didn't like what you said but you know what? I think you're right. Maybe I am doing this to make myself feel better. How I wish I had someone wise to teach me about life. I guess it's gonna have to be me.

 

[Callie]

She blocked your number for a reason, so I don't think calling her is the way you would want to go about making amends to her. How about an email? Or even snail mail? Or a friend to ask her if she would talk to you?
Give the option to HER to decide if she wants your amends, don't force it on her. That's just my opinion, of course. Good luck

I didn't think about that. I'm just trying to make sure this isn't as complicated as it should be.

I don't know if asking a friend would work. One of my friends? I don't know any of her friends. I never met them. I could get my sister to ask her. My sister knows about the whole thing. But they've never talked.

The thing is I feel I've done my worst already by email. Maybe she's blocked all my email addresses. Could you give me more input? I'm really serious about this.

Well, I think the best option you have is either email or snail mail. Personally, I would send her a letter in the mail. You know she'll get it and you can say what you want to say and leave it at that without trying to force yourself (or others) on her.
Hate to say it (again), but LC is right, which is why I don't think confronting her in person or on the phone is the right thing to do. It's not about you, it's about HER being wronged. But, I can understand your need to make amends with her.

 

[fuzzybutt]

I'm not really sure what snail mail is lol. I've googled it but I get a lot of results. Ok to be a little more clear I've realized the error I've made and I know what caused me to make that error. That's why I want apologize. But if I haven't worked on what caused me to make my mistake then maybe I should just continue practicing patience.

Oh! snail mail is actual mail lol.

 

[LoneKiller]

Staking out the park might look like you are stalking her. Write a letter of all the things that you want to say, then when she shows up, hand it to her with a way to contact you and walk away.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's relatively simple...Dude.
Like you said...you dont wanna make this honeysuckle more complicated.

You bascailly told her to fresia off becuase you were reacting to your emotions.
So she cutted you off.

Now , you're reacting your guilty emotions.

Dont say honeysuckle you dont mean...You ment it when you said it.
She was probably being a crazy ***** when you said it..so lets not forget that.

If it's just your opinions...learn how to keep your freaken mouth shut
about your opinions if you're trying to have a relationship with someone.

You told her to fresia off and promise not to bother her. Keep your fucken words
and dont be wishy washie about it.

Just stay willing to make amends to her.
If she crosses your path someday, somehow...Just make a sincere appalogy.

All of this expecations are just bullshit our minds generates.
Our mind creats mother fucken problems so it'll look for mother fucken
clever salutions to resolve it. Like a dog chasing it's own tail.

Like you say...you're fucken borded out ta your god **** mind.
So you're playing this stupid ass game....

The gray area...
As for me...I told someone to fresia off in so many ways...
But I told her I will always love her and that I do love her very much.
I also told her. We or I cannot have a healthy relationship if certain perametters arnt met.
In others words...whatever the fresia she needs to do to fix herself. it's up to her whats more important.
Whatever chioce she chooses. Ive reconciled with her many times before....
I didnt totally burnt my bridges with her. At the sametime things cannot continue as they were going.

If the opportunity should arrive that we want to contine our relationship...We'll cross that bridge and
deal with it when we get there. Im not pushing her or pushing it. There's plenty of things I know, i must
make up for. Im willing to do that. Ive hurted her very much so.

In the mean time. Life gose on.

 

[fuzzybutt]

You sound angry Lonesome Crow. Just know I don't know how to socialize properly. That's why I'm on this forum. I'll take your point of view into account though. I remember that we talked privately about it.

Just to make it clear I'm not trying to push any relationship of any kind (friends,acquaintance, etc). I'm alive to absorb as much information as possible. Should I change the title of my thread to "When and how to make amends?"

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im not angery....

 

[fuzzybutt]

Oh it sounded like you were with your use of "sentence enhancers."

Anyways, I'm not gonna do anything yet. I just hope I never lose my chance to make up for what I've done.