lifestream
Well-known member
Lowlander said:I'm not sure what the problem here is, but this childish bickering is completely pointless. For Merlin's sake, can't we just stick to the topic instead of insulting people? It shouldn't be that difficult. I've read so much bickering and a few insults on this thread that I kind of forgot what I wanted to reply to begin with. Great job. People post here because they want to help. If, after they post anything, they get shot down or insulted, what's the point of asking for help in the first place? If you start a thread and want help, accept any and all advice, even though it may not immediately be what you like to hear. There are different people here on this forum and as such there will be different responses. Still, respect all responses, don't insult people and then whine when they react unfavorable to you. Sigh.
I don't think the issue is that people are not getting the responses they want, I think it's that there is a culture of condemnation and assignation of blame that is indulged quite frequently, too frequently, really, on ALL.
Without naming names, there are several forum members who regularly respond to other members who have come here looking for some kind of acceptance and help with moralising, judgemental, 'tough luck' attitudes. Any competent psychiatric professional will tell you that blaming the sufferer for their mental health issues is neither appropriate or conducive to building self-esteem. Nor is offering pat solutions to lifelong issues around mental health or self-esteem.
While your point about accepting any and all advice is well-meant, I believe that it is based on faulty logic. If someone posts about how they are tired of life and somebody else responds by blaming them for their own misery, would you want them to take that to heart? I certainly wouldn't.
Not too long ago, I chatted to another regular member on ALL who was distraught because they had made several friends here who simply couldn't deal with the climate of the forum and left. I think that this is a telling symptom of a much greater problem on ALL, one that has been addressed several times by other members, sometimes in anger, sometimes in despair, but never without merit.
I'm not trying to start a war by posting this, I'm simply saying that maybe we need to have a serious think about how we act towards each other on this forum. I know that socialising on the internet frees one from the ropes of anxiety and self-doubt in a way, which therefore gives rise to arrogance and carelessness, but there is a desperate need for understanding, tolerance and patience on ALL.
We lonely people have so few sanctuaries, so little support in the real world, don't we deserve a place where we can reach out and meet acceptance rather than scorn and judgement? Can't we show each other some of the kindness and caring that life has denied so many of us?