Tired of the friendlessness

[velvetpancake]

I'm not even really sure how to introduce myself. Or why I'm introducing myself. I guess there is a part of me that actually wants friends. So I'm finally trying to reach out.

I am 28 years old, female, from California, and I don't have a single friend. I hope that doesn't sound like a cry for attention or anything, because its the honest truth. But its mostly my fault that I am in this situation.

Anytime anyone tries to reach out to me, I push them away. They invite me to go places, I keep on declining until they get tired of me. They call or text me, and I just ignore them. I have no idea why I do it, but I've been this way my entire life.

So hopefully, joining a group like this will help me. I feel a little better already, kinda, just writing down my thoughts like this. I hope that my intro makes a little bit of sense. Even though "friendlessness" isn't really a word.

 

[Sean]

Hey, I push people away also,

Let's be friends!


And, welcome.

 

[Mostpeculiarman]

I can relate. There are numerous opportunities to reach out to people in my life. I just feel lazy and inept. Why reach out when I know how it will end. I know that I am creating my own loneliness but I can’t seem to help it. I have a lifetime of screwing it up, so why stop now? It would be nice to meet a group of dejected losers with no qualms of accepting another into their ranks. I think part of my problem is that my insecurities lead me to think that I won’t measure up in some fashion. Sadly, the people I can never fit in or be accepted by always have inferior beliefs and values, and yet it still hurts to be ostracized by them. I have tried to make peace with my solitude, but to no avail. I believe that people evolved to live in close communities, yet modern society has quirks which alienate those who are damaged or fiercely independent. After so many failed attempts I feel fatigued to the whole issue. I turn my ringer off, make no calls, and only leave the house to work or buy food. I no longer feel the inspiration to try. I still reserve a small bit of hope for random connection, for what it’s worth. I know that this probably doesn’t seem too inspiring, but might you find some solace in knowing you are not alone in your experience.

 

[Yukhi]

I tend to be lazy to reach out as well. It always depends on my mood.

Hi and welcome to the forums velvetpancake

 

[change 4 good]

Hi velvetpancake, I am another one who wants to make friends but doesnt!
BUT with the help of this site and the wonderful people on the forums who are all in the same situations as ourselves I am giving it a blinkin' good go this time around!
I have a friend...not close...who has had their fair share of being pushed away/ignored. The friend I 'dumped' about eleven years ago. I could just not deal with the fact that they seemed to actually like me! So, I cut off all ties...mind you, we didnt see each other much, only met in real-life a couple of times, as it was mostly internet interaction as I met him online. I facebooked him a couple of months ago. Just to say hello. For some strange reason he said hello back. I would of understood if he told me to run and jump. He has since said that he was really annoyed that I 'dumped' him as a friend, although, I never really got to the stage where I could allow myself to believe he was a friend. But it looks like he is giving me another chance. This time I feel I cannot blow it....although, I am already pushing him away in some ways. I am scared of the friendship. I met up with him a few weeks ago and it was an absolute disaster....I felt so uncomfortable, was too anxious to chat to him, couldnt make eye contact and couldnt think of anything to say other than 'yes' and 'no'. I was glad when it was over and I got back home! He sent me an email and told me he felt really awkward in my company! I sit here wondering why I put myself through this....its so much easier not to have friends. But, I know how sad I am without any friends too, so, this time I am trying to not let myself or him down!

I really hope that with the help of others on this site (and I tell you some of them are awesome) then you'll gain a little confidence...make some new friends here and then perhaps take baby steps into finding a new friend....who knows, it may be someone on here that lives near you that you can meet for a coffee or something!

You can always rely on someone being here for you. I look forward to seeing you around the forums.
C4G

 

[Rammy]

Hi and welcome I think plenty of people on here would like to be your friend. Definatley a good place to start I'm always open, like a 24 hour petrol station , to new friends and so are many others.
Hope you make some good ones, bye!

 

[edgecrusher]

hey and welcome. i know how you feel. im kinda the same way. i think im like this because every best friend ive ever had has left me in one way or another. im shy and kinda socially akward to begin with so making friends in the first place was always not easy. im the same age as you and honestly at this point for me, having friends is... whatever. id much rather meet that special someone.

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site, velvet.

Or is it pancake?

 

[sadface]

welcome home

 

[nerdygirl]

Velvet pancake sounds delicious.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi!
I love your screen name. I live in northern California, do you?
Welcome to the forum!

Teresa

 

[velvetpancake]

Thanks for all of the welcomes! I really do think that this site will help me. Its nice to know that I'm not the only person who feels like this. And SofiasMami, I do live in northern California