To say hello

[Zinnia]

I'm looking for a little comfort and willing to offer some. My life isn't that bad, just drifting out of control. I feel bad complaining about it. Yet, I feel bad anyway.

My main concern is my realization that I will never be successful at my chosen career (artist), unless, possibly, after my death. It's just the circumstances and the way things are in the art business. I can't be part of the New York World.

My other issues are abandonment and low self-esteem.

I've been in therapy for years. Take anti-depressants. Have a good marriage and a basically secure life. I hit a rough patch when I went through menopause and had a hysterectomy (due to cysts) 3 years ago. I've gained weight and been self-medicating with food and alcohol. Hence the impending misery.

This is a pretty bleak picture but its the truth.

 

[Socialawkwardness101]

Welcome to the site, and I hope that you find the comfort you're seeking here.

 

[Locke]

Hi Zinnia, welcome to the forum.

Don't feel bad about complaining, there are people here who are willing to listen. And maybe you'll even find the comfort that you are looking for.

 

[libby08]

I'm looking for a little comfort and willing to offer some. My life isn't that bad, just drifting out of control. I feel bad complaining about it. Yet, I feel bad anyway.

Welcome Zinnia. This is a very comforting forum.

 

[Sigma]

There's no "You need to be this miserable to join" requirement here, welcome to the forum ^^

 

[9006]

Welcome to the site.

 

[GraceBlossom]

Hi there and welcome

 

[Zinnia]

Thank-you all for your kind replies. I was actually not sure about putting my note in a bottle and tossing it out there. It's a frightening prospect. Everyone here is really kind. I appreciate it.

I suppose the world is full of people like us who just need someone to hear our 'little cry for help' before we can go on as before. Because nothing really changes, just our attitudes.

That's what I need, is attitude adjustment. To appreciate my good life and get to a better place mentally. Otherwise, I fear, I will waste it and go through the rest of my life a miserable failure.

 

[Unbinilium]

I'm looking for a little comfort and willing to offer some. My life isn't that bad, just drifting out of control. I feel bad complaining about it. Yet, I feel bad anyway.

My main concern is my realization that I will never be successful at my chosen career (artist), unless, possibly, after my death. It's just the circumstances and the way things are in the art business. I can't be part of the New York World.

My other issues are abandonment and low self-esteem.

I've been in therapy for years. Take anti-depressants. Have a good marriage and a basically secure life. I hit a rough patch when I went through menopause and had a hysterectomy (due to cysts) 3 years ago. I've gained weight and been self-medicating with food and alcohol. Hence the impending misery.

This is a pretty bleak picture but its the truth.

Welcome to the forums.

And yeah, New York City can be tough and I live there... Just know that you're not alone trying to make it big here. Be reasonable but don't forget your dreams.

 

[Shipster0958]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Zinnia]

WK95, thanks for your reply, my problem with the art is due to my background outside NY. I couldn't afford to go to a prestigious school. Some say, "Boo hoo, get over it". But this is a critical edge these days. I believe in myself and my work. When I show it, I get "you have a good eye". But that's as far as it goes. I have shown locally for years. The only time the phone rings is for people wanting donations to charity auctions. My husband is a very successful artist and this has been both a blessing and a curse. People seem to think that my work should either not be any good because I'm married to him, or that it should somehow relate to his. (It doesn't) he loves me and my work. But he can only do so much. Lately I've been really depressed. I haven't been working on my art and I've gained weight. I feel he's losing interest in me. I'm 55 years old and just got a beautiful website finished. But when I showed it to the museum director in our city, the reception was icy. This museum is good. I should be in this collection by now.

We're going to try to show my work in NY to some dealers this fall. I'm worried though. It could be a crushing blow. All those doors slamming in my face. I'm not looking forward to it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey there, welcome to the forum

 

[Zinnia]

Just to clarify, not to belabor the point, but my situation has to do with art snobbery. The local museum has some artists from the area. But they are, for the most part, donations. You don't donate your own work, a wealthy patron does that. If you're a really successful, internationally known artist, like my husband, they'll acquire your work by direct purchase. But he's not originally from here, I am. There's a prejudice against 'local' artists. It's a catch-22 situation. You can't get to be well-known because you have no local support. The Hometown museums don't want you because they want to boost their reputations with hot-shots from outside cultures or big Metropolitan areas.