To text or not to text that is the question?

[Restless soul]

I couldn't thing of a good title, but this is along the lines of a post I made months back it ties in to that category. Which about to keep communicating with someone who I feel gave me the brush off. Let me get the the point. I have trouble being succinct. I was friends with a woman, she was not a girlfriend and we didn't date. We met on that idea, but we turned out to be better friends. Anyway we hung out from time and she didn't seem to make an effort. But she did respond to my texts in a very short replies. 
And I decided after my last text which was 3 months ago now to not reply if she didn't. So it was radio silence from then on. I remember my text clearly. I told her I was at a store .trying to make chit chat. And she didn't reply even though there were many ways to reply to what I stated. 
I decided to use that as a test type thing to see if I got a reply. And nothing .

What I am really trying to say, is it ok to go with my confrontational nature which wants me to call her on it. Ask her why she didn't reply? You see i found that rude I was annoyed . I know I am going to get a lot of answers saying that I should take the hint. Etcm. Etc..But is this really the approach for these things, to say fu*ck it. Who cares? When a part of me wants to say whats your deal? Why the cold shoulder ?

 

[Unix]

I couldn't thing of a good title, but this is along the lines of a post I made months back it ties in to that category. Which about to keep communicating with someone who I feel gave me the brush off. Let me get the the point. I have trouble being succinct. I was friends with a woman, she was not a girlfriend and we didn't date. We met on that idea, but we turned out to be better friends. Anyway we hung out from time and she didn't seem to make an effort. But she did respond to my texts in a very short replies. 
And I decided after my last text which was 3 months ago now to not reply if she didn't. So it was radio silence from then on. I remember my text clearly. I told her I was at a store .trying to make chit chat. And she didn't reply even though there were many ways to reply to what I stated. 
I decided to use that as a test type thing to see if I got a reply. And nothing .

What I am really trying to say, is it ok to go with my confrontational nature which wants me to call her on it. Ask her why she didn't reply? You see i found that rude I was annoyed . I know I am going to get a lot of answers saying that I should take the hint. Etcm. Etc..But is this really the approach for these things, to say fu*ck it. Who cares? When a part of me wants to say whats your deal? Why the cold shoulder ?

Usually short replies are a indicator of low interest. Everything is up to you. You have to decide if she is that important to pursue her or if move on and probably never have a connection with her again. From her there seems to be a basic lack of interest, is unlikely that you will form a bond again.

Try something neutral and friendly like a simple hello, or ask her what she has done in these month. If she reply back you can try again, but if she keeps responding with one word, or if she doens't reply at all you already know what to do

 

[9006]

It's easy for me to say... but I wouldn't bother. She clearly isn't interested and I think what you're looking for here is someone to back up your nature to find out why. But you already know why, she's just not interested and either doesn't want to hurt your feelings or just isn't even interested enough to tell you, and hopes you'll get the hint. If you don't want to make it easier for her you could persist but in the end I doubt it would make you feel any better about it.

As difficult as it may seem it's better not to get tied up in it and move on.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Stop trying to control honeysuckle you have no control over. Worry about what you can control. You aren't going to get an answer, so why bother trying?

 

[Xpendable]

haha = I don't
that's = like
sweet = you
:smile: = for honeysuckle

 

[kamya]

I don't think its ok to be confrontational or call anyone out. I used to do that kind of stuff but it doesn't really accomplish anything. She isn't really doing anything after all. Better to just cut losses and not really even worry about that person. Just wish them the best in your mind and talk to other people. I understand what you're feeling and why it might mess with your head and all, but meh. Doesn't matter.

I've learned that if you don't put as much stock in individual people and spread your love/friendship out among many people, it starts to hurt less and less when someone goes dark. This goes 2x if you're dealing with the opposite sex. Most people aren't worth getting that invested into anyways.

 

[Restless soul]

I couldn't thing of a good title, but this is along the lines of a post I made months back it ties in to that category. Which about to keep communicating with someone who I feel gave me the brush off. Let me get the the point. I have trouble being succinct. I was friends with a woman, she was not a girlfriend and we didn't date. We met on that idea, but we turned out to be better friends. Anyway we hung out from time and she didn't seem to make an effort. But she did respond to my texts in a very short replies. 
And I decided after my last text which was 3 months ago now to not reply if she didn't. So it was radio silence from then on. I remember my text clearly. I told her I was at a store .trying to make chit chat. And she didn't reply even though there were many ways to reply to what I stated. 
I decided to use that as a test type thing to see if I got a reply. And nothing .

What I am really trying to say, is it ok to go with my confrontational nature which wants me to call her on it. Ask her why she didn't reply? You see i found that rude I was annoyed . I know I am going to get a lot of answers saying that I should take the hint. Etcm. Etc..But is this really the approach for these things, to say fu*ck it. Who cares? When a part of me wants to say whats your deal? Why the cold shoulder ?

Usually short replies are a indicator of low interest. Everything is up to you. You have to decide if she is that important to pursue her or if move on and probably never have a connection with her again. From her there seems to be a basic lack of interest, is unlikely that you will form a bond again.

Try something neutral and friendly like a simple hello, or ask her what she has done in these month. If she reply back you can try again, but if she keeps responding with one word, or if she doens't reply at all you already know what to do

Thanks for your reply. But I won't be able to play it off that everything is cool with a hello. Must be due to being raised in a hostile confrontational family.

---

Stop trying to control honeysuckle you have no control over.  Worry about what you can control.  You aren't going to get an answer, so why bother trying?

Such a callie reply. What do you mean control honeysuckle? Is that an ocd reference? I simply ask the community here what the procedure would be in an i stance such as this. The do's the dont's

Not sure what it has to do with control but more has to do with curiosity, communication with someone you felt you were on okay terms with.
Maybe I am missing something due to lack of friendships in the past few years. I also can't say I have never blew anyone off. But i am guilty also every case is different . 

And callie, how do you know I won't get an answer, the question at this point is do I want an answer?

---

haha = I don't
that's = like
sweet = you
:smile: = for honeysuckle

?????

---

I appreciate everyone thoughts.

 

[Restless soul]

Like I said my brother used to text me in a hostile amd aggresive way when I didn't reply or answer his questions. And as you all know natrually I hated that and didn't reply and made me more angry. This is not a sibling who I have had fights with. You can say I been infected with that same confrontational side that he came at me with. But when someone never replies to something you said, someone you didn't dislike is it ok to write them in an anmoyed fashion and just say.

" hey why haven't you replied to me what was the problem ? That is unfortunate. Sorry you don't want to continue being friends 

Is that too childish??

 

[Restless soul]

Stop trying to control honeysuckle you have no control over.  Worry about what you can control.  You aren't going to get an answer, so why bother trying?

Why when someone replies then ignores you a few minutes later it's not normal to wonder what's up? Ask what's up? What's was the problem? 

Maybe I need to read the rule book again

 

[VanillaCreme]

What I am really trying to say, is it ok to go with my confrontational nature which wants me to call her on it. Ask her why she didn't reply? You see i found that rude I was annoyed . I know I am going to get a lot of answers saying that I should take the hint. Etcm. Etc..But is this really the approach for these things, to say fu*ck it. Who cares? When a part of me wants to say whats your deal? Why the cold shoulder ?

Why would you be confrontational? That type of behavior/emotion/reaction doesn't even make sense to me. She doesn't owe you anything. Would it be nice if she had replied? Sure. But did she have to? No, and she didn't. Personally, I'd just let it go. It's on us to not over-extend ourselves.

 

[Restless soul]

What I am really trying to say, is it ok to go with my confrontational nature which wants me to call her on it. Ask her why she didn't reply? You see i found that rude I was annoyed . I know I am going to get a lot of answers saying that I should take the hint. Etcm. Etc..But is this really the approach for these things, to say fu*ck it. Who cares? When a part of me wants to say whats your deal? Why the cold shoulder ?

Why would you be confrontational? That type of behavior/emotion/reaction doesn't even make sense to me. She doesn't owe you anything. Would it be nice if she had replied? Sure. But did she have to? No, and she didn't. Personally, I'd just let it go. It's on us to not over-extend ourselves.

Right. She doesn't owe me anything of course.

That was the the idea of this thread. To get a clearer understanding as to when to question someone because you wonder why they haven't returned your message when you thought you were on decent terms. Is it always up to the person who feels they are being ignored to take the hint and not bother. Or ask. Hey what's the deal ?? Closure even in a friendship. They will say maybe they can't be friend for such and such a reason. Right? That's ok. I can handle it

 

[Restless soul]

Well I just sent a text out. Stupid me..

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why do you ask when you're just going to do it anyway?

 

[Restless soul]

Ah ha. I never know what I will do Until i actually do it.
I like to know what other will do and have done in similar situations and the same time knowing there is no set rule and nothing is ever set it stone.

 

[kamya]

It's ok. Some lessons are best learned through our own experiences.

 

[Restless soul]

It's ok. Some lessons are best learned through our own experiences.

That is exactly right . Thanks

 

[ardour]

It's a 3 month old text for Christ's sake. Want to remove all respect she might have had for you, go ahead. Also, this is the kind of thing that can get screenshotted and spammed over social media with claims of harassment. Don't send any more texts.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

It's a 3 month old text for Christ's sake.  Want to remove all respect she might have had for you, go ahead. Also,  this is the kind of thing that can get screenshotted and spammed over social media with claims of harassment. Don't send any more texts.

^THIS. Many times this!

I have friends on social media that pathologically screencap texts from thirsty dudes to their walls and their replies to fully display their savagery to 'the gals'. It's just one of the plethora of reasons I avoid displaying direct interest in a female at all, but it's a pretty **** big one. 

Pray she at least blocks out your name and profile picture.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Right. She doesn't owe me anything of course.

That was the the idea of this thread. To get a clearer understanding as to when to question someone because you wonder why they haven't returned your message when you thought you were on decent terms. Is it always up to the person who feels they are being ignored to take the hint and not bother. Or ask. Hey what's the deal ?? Closure even in a friendship. They will say maybe they can't be friend for such and such a reason. Right? That's ok. I can handle it

Pardon me if I'm wrong, but this seems like it has a bit of sarcasm to it, especially the first part. No, she doesn't owe you anything, as much as you would like some sort of explanation. You expect it because you want it. She doesn't have to explain. It's on you now to determine whether or not this is worth giving any more of your time and thought to. It's up to you now to decide whether or not you want to move on, or continue to wonder why. It's always nice to have some sort of closure, but it's something you're wanting. She doesn't have to say anything else to you.

 

[Restless soul]

Right. She doesn't owe me anything of course.

That was the the idea of this thread. To get a clearer understanding as to when to question someone because you wonder why they haven't returned your message when you thought you were on decent terms. Is it always up to the person who feels they are being ignored to take the hint and not bother. Or ask. Hey what's the deal ?? Closure even in a friendship. They will say maybe they can't be friend for such and such a reason. Right? That's ok. I can handle it

Pardon me if I'm wrong, but this seems like it has a bit of sarcasm to it, especially the first part. No, she doesn't owe you anything, as much as you would like some sort of explanation. You expect it because you want it. She doesn't have to explain. It's on you now to determine whether or not this is worth giving any more of your time and thought to. It's up to you now to decide whether or not you want to move on, or continue to wonder why. It's always nice to have some sort of closure, but it's something you're wanting. She doesn't have to say anything else to you.

Right, she doesn't. You are 100 % correct. She doesn't have to explain anything. And as you as you said it's always nice to have closure. And sometimes that can be done by initiating communication even after a long pause. Sometimes you get a response and sometimes it doesn't. But I will say my piece. No law that prevents me from doing that.