Today 27 years ago

[Triple Bogey]

God !
I always remember this day, December 1st !

I think back to what happened in 1986, daft really because it wasn't that bad but I was 18 and very sensitive.

I had just left school, I was unemployed, doing nothing. For about a year I had this crush on this lass. It was horrible because I wasn't stupid enough to think she was interested in me but I couldn't let it go. We hardly talked and I have no idea why I liked her so much. She mostly ignored me and when I left school I didn't think I would see her again so I was very unhappy.

So on December 1st I was walking along minding my own business. I looked up and she was there, stood at a bus stop with a friend. She was pointing at me and laughing. I mean really laughing. Now, I would have given her a dirty look or said 'what are you ******* laughing at ?' but back then I was shy and I remember shuffling by with her head down feeling very ashamed and hurt. It crushed me and I felt depressed and down for a long time. I never saw her again.

Thinking about it, it was the start of the 'terrible' things that have happened to me regarding women and dating. It was the first major set back.

When you think about it, who would laugh at anybody anyway ? It's not nice, I would never do it even to somebody I felt was stupid or ridiculous. I simply wouldn't do such a thing. I like to treat people with respect. I always think about it on the day, it has stuck in my mind. Pointless really.

 

[EveWasFramed]

When you think about it, who would laugh at anybody anyway ?

Someone you really wouldn't want to know, I'd say. At that age, pretty much an adult, they should know better. It's too bad that some don't.

 

[Red914]

That's terrible. And I definitely agree with you about laughing at others. You and I seem to be in similar situations -- we are loving people who keep encountering those who have not completely learned how to love.

But just remember that you are a great person. No idiotic laughing from some narrow-minded individual is ever going to change that. My best goes out to you, friend. Chat with me if you need anything.

 

[9006]

It's sad that that's happened and understandable it sticks in your mind as you were young, but that's just it; young. There's no point in questioning the why, what, where and how, immaturity makes people do stupid things that makes little sense. There was nothing YOU did wrong and there's no point in beating yourself up about how you should or could have reacted.

Plenty of time has gone since then, it's best to try and discard that memory, though that's easier than it sounds.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's sad that that's happened and understandable it sticks in your mind as you were young, but that's just it; young. There's no point in questioning the why, what, where and how, immaturity makes people do stupid things that makes little sense. There was nothing YOU did wrong and there's no point in beating yourself up about how you should or could have reacted.

Plenty of time has gone since then, it's best to try and discard that memory, though that's easier than it sounds.

Exactly.

 

[Triple Bogey]

That's terrible. And I definitely agree with you about laughing at others. You and I seem to be in similar situations -- we are loving people who keep encountering those who have not completely learned how to love.

But just remember that you are a great person. No idiotic laughing from some narrow-minded individual is ever going to change that. My best goes out to you, friend. Chat with me if you need anything.

thank you

---

It's sad that that's happened and understandable it sticks in your mind as you were young, but that's just it; young. There's no point in questioning the why, what, where and how, immaturity makes people do stupid things that makes little sense. There was nothing YOU did wrong and there's no point in beating yourself up about how you should or could have reacted.

Plenty of time has gone since then, it's best to try and discard that memory, though that's easier than it sounds.

I don't think about it much, only on the day it happened.

 

[9006]

I don't think about it much, only on the day it happened.

If it gets you down then it's one day too many.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I don't think about it much, only on the day it happened.

If it gets you down then it's one day too many.

I think things that happened when you are young tend to stick with you and shape your life and thinking. It was the first really bad thing to happen to me, the first of many, it has a significance.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

When I was 23, I was off at college in a dorm for the first time. I remember once, I came out of the stairs, and there were these two girls staring at me. They then pointed and laughed. I was humiliated, and didn't understand what they were laughing at.

My self confidence has been shitty since then, and that was only 8 years ago.

 

[SofiasMami]

Sorry to hear you've been carrying that with you for almost 3 decades.
Pardon my English, but the a$$hole that humiliated you has probably long ago forgotten about it.
I was on the receiving end of mockery before about age 20 because of my shyness and near total lack of social skills but I always think now that living well is the best revenge.
In spite of or maybe even BECAUSE of the twits that I had the misfortune of crossing paths with, I'm doing ok.
Here's to hoping you won't relive that terrible memory again next Dec. 1!


-Teresa

 

[Triple Bogey]

When I was 23, I was off at college in a dorm for the first time. I remember once, I came out of the stairs, and there were these two girls staring at me. They then pointed and laughed. I was humiliated, and didn't understand what they were laughing at.

My self confidence has been shitty since then, and that was only 8 years ago.

I got laughed at loads of times by women. What was so bad about the one I mentioned was it was a woman I had a crush on. Doesn't happen at all now though. Probably because I am more self confident.

---

Sorry to hear you've been carrying that with you for almost 3 decades.
Pardon my English, but the a$$hole that humiliated you has probably long ago forgotten about it.
I was on the receiving end of mockery before about age 20 because of my shyness and near total lack of social skills but I always think now that living well is the best revenge.
In spite of or maybe even BECAUSE of the twits that I had the misfortune of crossing paths with, I'm doing ok.
Here's to hoping you won't relive that terrible memory again next Dec. 1!


-Teresa

thanks Teresa !

I think everybody on here as probably gone thru similar experiences. Getting laughed at, mocked or humiliated by moronic people who have no sense. Like I said in my first message, I wouldn't point and laugh at anybody. I don't shout random insults at people passing by like some people do. That happens so many times when I am on my bike, some big mouth shouts something insulting. I usually forget about it minutes later. The December 1st incident won't ever leave me, I am sure the woman in question forgot about it the next day.

 

[Batman55]

thanks Teresa !

I think everybody on here as probably gone thru similar experiences. Getting laughed at, mocked or humiliated by moronic people who have no sense. Like I said in my first message, I wouldn't point and laugh at anybody. I don't shout random insults at people passing by like some people do. That happens so many times when I am on my bike, some big mouth shouts something insulting. I usually forget about it minutes later. The December 1st incident won't ever leave me, I am sure the woman in question forgot about it the next day.

The last time that happened to me in any kind of significance may have been 10 years ago if not longer. Before that time I wasn't as self-aware and I would sometimes do things like walking really fast (not noticing that everyone else was walking normally), walking oddly, or keeping my head down a lot of the time. Eventually I got clued in to all the things I was doing wrong, and now it's extremely rare for anyone in public to bother me.

I would think if it happens mostly when you're on a bike, it could possibly be because not many guys ride bikes in your area (just a possibility.) There has to be something you're doing that the jerks are detecting. The only other possibility is if you live in a "rough" area, those things will happen no matter what in such a case.

 

[ardour]

God... that was 27 years ago. You aren't even the same person that got pointed out and laughed at.

 

[Triple Bogey]

thanks Teresa !

I think everybody on here as probably gone thru similar experiences. Getting laughed at, mocked or humiliated by moronic people who have no sense. Like I said in my first message, I wouldn't point and laugh at anybody. I don't shout random insults at people passing by like some people do. That happens so many times when I am on my bike, some big mouth shouts something insulting. I usually forget about it minutes later. The December 1st incident won't ever leave me, I am sure the woman in question forgot about it the next day.

The last time that happened to me in any kind of significance may have been 10 years ago if not longer. Before that time I wasn't as self-aware and I would sometimes do things like walking really fast (not noticing that everyone else was walking normally), walking oddly, or keeping my head down a lot of the time. Eventually I got clued in to all the things I was doing wrong, and now it's extremely rare for anyone in public to bother me.

I would think if it happens mostly when you're on a bike, it could possibly be because not many guys ride bikes in your area (just a possibility.) There has to be something you're doing that the jerks are detecting. The only other possibility is if you live in a "rough" area, those things will happen no matter what in such a case.

I can imagine most people who use bikes get insulted, like you say I cycle in rough area's sometimes. I got more abuse when I was younger because I probably did walk funny or looked self conscious. Doesn't happen so much now. I remember walking to this xmas meal 3 years ago and this gardenia shouted 'bald wanker' at me. I told everybody and they thought it was hilarious !

---

God... that was 27 years ago. You aren't even the same person that got pointed out and laughed at.

it's still something I remember

 

[Batman55]

I can imagine most people who use bikes get insulted, like you say I cycle in rough area's sometimes. I got more abuse when I was younger because I probably did walk funny or looked self conscious. Doesn't happen so much now. I remember walking to this xmas meal 3 years ago and this gardenia shouted 'bald wanker' at me. I told everybody and they thought it was hilarious !

Come to think of it I have had a couple insults in the last 10 years, the worst one was in 2007 if I remember right. It was late at night in Atlantic City, my brother and I had just begun walking back from the ice cream shoppe, he had a cone he was licking, I had nothing. He wore a striped shirt, I wore an all red shirt.

This young couple across the road was talking loudly and seemed to be drunk or high, possibly. When they saw us the guy said "you know you're wearing a striped shirt?" Then they started with the homophobic insults, "gay guys" and so on. That went on for at least five minutes, and they kept mentioning the kinds of shirts we were wearing (!). Although at least they never came up to us. The guy was clearly an arrogant, "macho" jerk.

Self-awareness helps to a certain degree.. if we had thought about things ahead of time, it's:

1) Dressing plainly or "upscale" in a rough area will get you noticed
2) Two guys walking together with no girls around them is, sadly, going to make you an easier mark
3) For some reason I suspect licking an ice-cream cone may even have contributed, I suppose it is not "manly" to do this...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What the? How does licking an ice cream cone make you gay?

That is the oddest thing I've ever heard in my life!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Makes me sad reading what happened to you. Sorry *hugs*

 

[Triple Bogey]

Makes me sad reading what happened to you. Sorry *hugs*

Thank you. I have many more stories like that.
But I am generally okay, quite happy with my lot.

 

[Batman55]

What the? How does licking an ice cream cone make you gay?

That is the oddest thing I've ever heard in my life!

Well then, why would wearing a striped shirt make you gay?

Or wearing a red shirt?

The guy mentioned those facts to us repeatedly, while hurling gay insults. True story.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. It's horrible what people do to one another. I remember when I was in eight grade I had a crush on a guy myself and all of his friends were laughing at me and making fun of me. So I know how it feels, I'm glad you're a lot more confident though.

You're better than that person anyhow and it's sad how rude they are. People never learn it seems like.
~hugs~