subversivephilosophy
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- Joined
- Jun 26, 2010
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Hi everyone, My name is Gil, I am 48 and I live in Anchorage Alaska. I am male. I have finally admitted to myself that I am a very lonely person. I have done my best to cover these feelings w/alcohol and meaningless sex - all to no avail as the emptiness within only grows worse the older I get. I think maybe that I'm an odd fellow; most people do not get me that is for sure. I am doubtful about the future - think Cassandra in the Iliad. I am an anarchist at heart even though I realize it to be a utopian dream, I am a socialist as well; not because I think it any better in practice but it is my "NO" to this age of debased consumerism and empty Hollywood BS.
I am contemptuous of popular culture & I despise television. Quite frankly I can be an arrogant SOB. But that arrogance is a shield so to speak to hide or compensate for the fact that I am very sensitive and feel things deeply. I have strong passions that I occasionally have difficulty controlling. I feel alienated from people - I know that I am in large part to blame for this myself because I have chosen a path that is isolating; I have been corrupted by philosophy. All values are provisional at best; nothing is sure and as the Hebrew scriptures say knowledge is a curse. Yet I cannot stop and devour all that I am capable of understanding in philosophy, psychology, and science.
I hide from myself what I want because I doubt that I will ever find it, I have pretty much lost hope in ever being happy. In my heart though I want simply to find a woman who is worthy of being the center of my world. I know that this is not a dating site and in any event my desperate need makes it most unlikely that I shall find the subject of my heart's desire.
I Googled "loneliness" and found this site.
I do not know if this is the right place to post my intro or not??
I am contemptuous of popular culture & I despise television. Quite frankly I can be an arrogant SOB. But that arrogance is a shield so to speak to hide or compensate for the fact that I am very sensitive and feel things deeply. I have strong passions that I occasionally have difficulty controlling. I feel alienated from people - I know that I am in large part to blame for this myself because I have chosen a path that is isolating; I have been corrupted by philosophy. All values are provisional at best; nothing is sure and as the Hebrew scriptures say knowledge is a curse. Yet I cannot stop and devour all that I am capable of understanding in philosophy, psychology, and science.
I hide from myself what I want because I doubt that I will ever find it, I have pretty much lost hope in ever being happy. In my heart though I want simply to find a woman who is worthy of being the center of my world. I know that this is not a dating site and in any event my desperate need makes it most unlikely that I shall find the subject of my heart's desire.
I Googled "loneliness" and found this site.
I do not know if this is the right place to post my intro or not??
