Treat them mean, keep them keen.

[ardour]

>>

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...n-keen-secret-holding-man-scientists-say.html

One of the best ways to keep someone is to keep them guessing

...depressing.

 

[9006]

This isn't the 'be all end all' of it, don't get sucked in to how the media write about stuff like this.

The study, reported in the European Journal of Personality, asked more than 1,500 men and women which tactics worked best.

So that's 1,501 then. All it means is the MAJORITY of these statistics agree, not all. And in my experience this isn't necessarily true.

 

[Sigma]

The whole "Playing hard to get" thing is only really found in the playing games part of the dating spectrum anyway, which is something I avoid if at all possible.
If people wanna try feigning uninterest for their partners to get something out of it be my guest, it's just really not for me.

 

[1000lifetimes]

This kind of thing pisses me off. Simple rule of life/love: If you do it to me and think its fine...feel free to shut the hell up if I do it to you. If you don't want me to do it to you...don't do it to me!

Is that kind of thinking way off?!? Someone please tell me if it is.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

Didn't read the article (I can't stand the daily mail )

There is some truth in this notion, I wouldn't advocate being a honeysuckle to someone to try and keep them off course, but the ability to demonstrate you are your own person and not just there to be a walking doormat for someone is an important quality. I also see many relationships that are kept alive by bickering and making up again and for all the histrionics on both sides, I would still consider them healthy and loving relationships.

While keeping things interesting can be good, forcing people away with constant mind games is pretty psychotic, while for most of us it would result in getting continually dumped some people seem to be born with an innate ability to get away with murder and always come up smelling of roses. Unfortunately with the right sucker its amazing how much people will put up with, convinced that they can change them. We all must know that one friend who is generally pretty intelligent but inexplicably keeps putting up with a partner who is a waste of space and treats them like crap.

On the flip side, I'm sure I've read a thousand times on here advice given to not be too needy, especially early on. This is the opposite reaction to the article of course but it encourages the opposite feelings in people too where it’s all too easy and born more out of a need from that person to just be loved rather than an actual appreciation of any genuine and unique feelings for each other. Like most things in life, the middle ground is the best place to be!

 

[Coeur]

And with this fuel thrown on the already blazing fire of poor integrity, a lack of honesty, and selfishness at the expense of your loved one in this culture, it just got harder. Godspeed, singles.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I don't like that. Best is always to just be straight-forward and honest. Don't like playing mind games on people. Why make life so complicated and difficult when it already is with so many other crappy people around?

 

[Locke]

Two things occur to me:

1: The daily mail is not a good source for dating advice.

2: There will always be idiots who enjoy playing mind games, that doesn't mean it is the best way to keep someone. Being open and honest is the best way.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Two things occur to me:

1: The daily mail is not a good source for dating advice.

2: There will always be idiots who enjoy playing mind games, that doesn't mean it is the best way to keep someone. Being open and honest is the best way.

^^This. Exactly.

 

[argosgold]

The Daily Mail is not a good source for anything.

Being open and honest is good. Just difficult.

 

[Locke]

Being open and honest is good. Just difficult.

Really depends on the person, I'd guess. It isn't always easy for me, but its worth it. Maybe some people find being manipulative easier, so that's what they do.

 

[Cavey]

I can't be arsed to read anything that was printed in the HUGELY sensationalist rag that is The Daily Mail, but I can tell you this...

In my experience, treat 'em mean, lose 'em forever.

 

[ardour]

I can see the perverse logic in keeping your partner in a state or worry about the relationship ending. It uses their ego and insecurities against them... they'll be too pre-occupied with concern over this to take you for granted or get bored and leave.

Women seem to respect indifference more than attentiveness and men love the challenge and making a women care.

Sad face again..

 

[robberrt]

I hate mind games. Some people say that you need a few mind games here and there to keep things interesting. fresia that, I wouldn't want to to be a jerk and play 'hard to get'. I guess just having an intimate relationship with someone that you care about, isn't enough for some people.

 

[ladyforsaken]

The Daily Mail is not a good source for anything.

Being open and honest is good. Just difficult.

It is easier to lie and hide and be dishonest. But it will only lead to hurt and negativity.

Good things never come that easy. It may be difficult at the beginning, but once you are used to it, being open and honest won't be that difficult really. It will save you a lot of trouble in the future.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Two things occur to me:

1: The daily mail is not a good source for dating advice.

2: There will always be idiots who enjoy playing mind games, that doesn't mean it is the best way to keep someone. Being open and honest is the best way.

Exactly, Locke.

I think studies are a bunch of bologna anyway. "Yeah, let's get a group of people that are controlled by what we say, and just claim that they fall into exactly what we believe to be true. People fall for it every time."

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Everyone is different.

If someone treated me badly, or expected me to treat them badly, expect me to run, not walk, away from the relationship. I don't play games, and I would expect my partner to be honest with me, as I am with her.

I've been treated mean enough in my life, that I would lose respect for a lover who treated me that way.

 

[Locke]

I think studies are a bunch of bologna anyway. "Yeah, let's get a group of people that are controlled by what we say, and just claim that they fall into exactly what we believe to be true. People fall for it every time."

I agree. My biggest problem with studies like that is they believe since a small group of people do things in a certain way, everyone else does too. People are too different from each other for that to be true. The only people who take this study garbage seriously are the ones who want to believe it.

 

[theglasscell]

>>

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...n-keen-secret-holding-man-scientists-say.html

One of the best ways to keep someone is to keep them guessing

...depressing.

The best way to learn about dating is to actually do it, reading articles about it online isn't going to help you meet anyone.

---

I can see the perverse logic in keeping your partner in a state or worry about the relationship ending. It uses their ego and insecurities against them... they'll be too pre-occupied with concern over this to take you for granted or get bored and leave.

Women seem to respect indifference more than attentiveness and men love the challenge and making a women care.

Sad face again..

None of that is true at all. In my experience it's the opposite. Women appreciate things like getting flowers or being taken to a nice dinner. They appreciate romantic gestures.

 

[African_weasel]

This is the honeysuckle I hate. However, I think this is more used by younger people than older people. I'm honestly was more attracted to older women than girls my age. Older people don't have time for that honeysuckle, so they don't play games. People my age, we're so polluted with reality tv that we think it acceptable to lead someone on pretty much. We think that some people are just our play things and not consider someone else's feelings and think that not telling them will not hurt someones when it dose. If you just tell the person straight up, they will probably just go on with their lives instead of "what could I have done?" or "what did I do wrong" or anything that make them self-deprecating. To add to that, if were my case, "if I promised her weed, would she e more inclined to date me?" So you should e asking yourself, "why do people do this honeysuckle?" You could say it's the rap music and you could say it's the player's fault. All and all, it could be a number of things, so just know it's all bullshit.

Locke, it's your turn now. Roll that beautiful bean footage!