trusting in yourself

[confusedandalone]

I have a reallt hard time trusting myself. I have been in a relationship since i was old enough to have one, always put that first rather than constructing a life outside of it and cant imagine being able to go it alone. I am not sure i can go for a career or anything because im not very clever but my parents think i am and are pushing me to go to uni. thing is, i dont want to live in the town they live in as i find it really depressing here and all i want is to make a life with a partner and make a cirlce of friends from there. i am single now and have just moved back with them and i dont think i am able to make it in a new place on my own. I havent found a job i think id love or anything and cant see a way out of their house other than to go to uni but ive ditched it before because im scared of failing and then they'll know for sure im not clever. I am feeling so lonely still and this site helps but its all i do now. i am petrified about the future - i dont think ill make enough money to support myself and i dont want to waste money on something i dont think i can do. i am an only child and i dont want to feel alone foever or live with my parents forever but i dont know what to do. i have no sense of direction and am not good at finding my way around new places. maybe im just lazy i dont know. ive lost so much and have nothing left to drive me on.

what i cant get my head around is if i go to uni, i would hopefully make some friends there but then id have to go wherever the job takes me and then thats 2 fears - being good enough at a job and moving again! dont know what to do.

 

[Papabear]

You talk a lot about being in relationships but it sounds like you don't have yourself together, or that you even really know who you are. I spent a long time with the same girl... my high school sweetheart, and when we split up while I was in the military... well it was terrifying.

I realized through talking to people and all that jazz that to be any good in these relationships you want so bad, that you have to be good on your own. Relationships are supposed to compliment you, not define you.

As far as the future goes, only you can decide what is truly best for you. Remember in life there is no right or wrong path, it's how you react to the path you chose to take that determines whether or not things are right or wrong.

It sounds to me like you need to take the risk and get out there. Quit worrying about money... it's only paper. If you really get into trouble there are people that WILL help you, so take the risk.

As far as a job goes, don't worry about that. I've worked in a lot of industries and realized that very few people are actually any good at their job, or even really know what their job is.

 

[Porman]

Dont doubt yourself. Your as smart as you want to be, just put the effort in

Dont be scared of the future, embrase it.

Dont worry about a gf, It will only mess up your plans. get your life sorted first, or you will be tied down, unable to move for work or whatever.

 

[confusedandalone]

The thought of moving for work terrifies me! has anyone else moved away from their families for work? how did you go about it?

 

[scotsgirl]

Hi confusedandalone, sometimes it's just fear of the unknown, but have faith in yourself.
I don't think people have to be clever to do well in life, a lot of it is attitude and believing in yourself.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Oh man, I hate being a boomerang kid.

I moved away from my family...You become responsible real quick.
Your decision making are taking more seriouse becuase you don't have that insurance of running home. You'll try to work through
issues with your partner more.
Every so often you'll get home sick...especailly when the rough gets going.

I know what you mean. I find myself in the same situation after these years.
My parents has a nice to place to live...but it's not mine. It's not my life, it's their life.
They treat like a little 15 year old. Obvioulsely a 15 year old has curfuse and can't
bring girls home. I feel like an adult stuck in a 15 year old life..lol

So it's sort of wierd in a way becuase I can get comfortable real quick
and get in a rut. With too much time on my hands a person can go mental..think too much.
Which is where I'm at...I'm in a major rut of laziness and trying to break it.

I'm not in a major doom prophercy mental state.Negative or stinking thinking creeps
in every so often. I don't hang on to those thoughts much.

I'm trying to force myself you go excersizing everyday. It'll help me mentally.
I having a hard time to just make a list of long term goals at the moment.
Life kind da turned upside down for me and I'm trying to recover or heal from it.
I'm not as optimist as i used to be but just making a deision to move forward is an improvemnt.

I'm just wroking on trying to get back into a structure routine...That's my goal at the moment.
Yeah...basically self descipline on a mental and physical level. Just taking baby steps.
Do the best that i can with what i have or where I'm at.
A process of trusting myself, i suppose.

I do have a rule though....i don't beat up myself no matter what. I love myself no matter what.