Waited too long

[DannyBoy]

I've never been too good when it comes to the social graces. At 21 years old I have no friends (nor have I ever really, I spent most of childhood mooching off my older brother's friends), I've never had a girlfriend or a serious crush, all that I really have is my family, and I won't likely have that forever.

I've tried to do things recently to make myself better, I've tried to learn to play guitar or draw in order to impress people, I've tried to meet people at clubs and make friends, I've read up everything I can find with regards to attracting women or making friends, Unfortunately, all these things require years, possibly even decades to master, and I don't know if I have enough time to do anything about my current situation.

Back when I was in High School, I always figured that I would grow out of my awkward phase, that as soon as I went to college I would find hundreds of like-minded people to connect with, to love and be loved. I was an idiot. I'm now coming up on my senior year of college, and despite succeeding in achieving a good GPA I've failed at pretty much everything else I set out to do. I wish that I had picked up a cool skill when I was in middle school, like guitar or a foreign language, then I'd have something to bring to the table when it comes to attracting mates and friends besides boring history facts and stupid jokes. I wish that I had learned how to flirt with girls when I was younger, because right now I have no idea how to approach a girl and no idea what to do if I succeeded in getting a date.

I remember, back in my senior year of high school, one of my teachers told me that there was a girl in my mock trial club that had a crush on me. I even thought that I knew who it was at the time. But now I realize that my teacher was probably just lieing to me, trying to make me feel better about myself.

It is too late for me, I had chance to learn how to live a good life and I squandered the opportunity without even realizing it.

 

[bender22]

You haven't mastered social skills at age 21 so you're just going to give up? What's the point of this thread...are you just venting or looking for advice?

 

[dawningday]

I think venting is a good thing, and hopefully you will get some responses that will help. I don't have a lot to say on it, only that I can relate a lot. I've always been awkward and shy around people. In the girlfriend department, I always had a hard time to connect. I'm not one to flirt, and if they were flirting with me....I had no idea. Always thought they where being nice to me.
But I wouldn't give up, sometimes life can surprise you. I had it happen to me, and more than once. I know it is easier said than done.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think you should not give up (if you were feeling like it) and you should keep trying. I know you probably hear this all the time but you are still pretty young and strong to do a lot of things you'd want to. It's not too late for you. I found a really awesome guy I got together with just about a year or so ago and I'm 25.

It will happen, when it's time to happen. In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt if you could continue to socialise if you want to make more friends or get to know new people who could lead you to find a girl you can totally get along with. (You did say that you've tried to meet people at clubs etc.) Maybe do something different. I don't know.. browse through the forum, many members have given several suggestions on what you can do to meet new people.

But I always say that you should never expect too much of it or it will cause you great disappointment if things don't work out. Also, I kinda find the "it happens when you least expect it" thing to be true sometimes.

So good luck, don't give up yet, I think you're just about starting your life, so maneuver it such that you will be satisfied with it eventually. It may be luck to some extent but I think that your character, your good deeds and positive thoughts also influence good things to happen in your favour, or something even better.

 

[delta-steel]

hey your post is almost exactly my life (im 22) im not very good at writing things out but that pretty much sums it up, i really hope this isnt rude but thankyou for being able to express what i probably will never be able to.

 

[Case]

I've never been too good when it comes to the social graces. At 21 years old I have no friends (nor have I ever really, I spent most of childhood mooching off my older brother's friends), I've never had a girlfriend or a serious crush, all that I really have is my family, and I won't likely have that forever.

Then, there's no time like the present to change all that.

I've tried to do things recently to make myself better, I've tried to learn to play guitar or draw in order to impress people, I've tried to meet people at clubs and make friends, I've read up everything I can find with regards to attracting women or making friends, Unfortunately, all these things require years, possibly even decades to master, and I don't know if I have enough time to do anything about my current situation.

Your current situation can only change one day at a time. If you make progress a little every day, imagine how much progress you can make in a week, a month, a year, or five years?

I wish that I had learned how to flirt with girls when I was younger, because right now I have no idea how to approach a girl and no idea what to do if I succeeded in getting a date.

You need to make friends before you start to flirt. Meetup.com is your resource to making friends. If you like someone, you can worry about how to flirt then. One day at a time.

I remember, back in my senior year of high school, one of my teachers told me that there was a girl in my mock trial club that had a crush on me. I even thought that I knew who it was at the time. But now I realize that my teacher was probably just lieing to me, trying to make me feel better about myself.

I think your teacher spotted this girl acting like she was smitten by you and was telling you in the hope that you would talk to her. Your negative self-talk is telling you that he was lying. Tell your inner voice to shut up. Truth: A girl in high school had a crush on you, and your teacher spotted it. Feel good about that.

It is too late for me, I had chance to learn how to live a good life and I squandered the opportunity without even realizing it.

I speak from experience. Just get a positive attitude and everything will improve. Right now, you see no solution. But a solution exists. You just have to want it and you have to be willing to work for it. Nothing changes in an instant. But you gotta want it or nothing will ever change.

Good luck.

P.S. - You haven't waited too long. The only time it's too late is when you're dead. So, get your butt going because you have a bright future ahead of you.

 

[PieBeNice]

You haven't mastered social skills at age 21 so you're just going to give up? What's the point of this thread...are you just venting or looking for advice?

You're mean. I like you.

 

[apetlover]

I've never been too good when it comes to the social graces. At 21 years old I have no friends (nor have I ever really, I spent most of childhood mooching off my older brother's friends), I've never had a girlfriend or a serious crush, all that I really have is my family, and I won't likely have that forever.

I've tried to do things recently to make myself better, I've tried to learn to play guitar or draw in order to impress people, I've tried to meet people at clubs and make friends, I've read up everything I can find with regards to attracting women or making friends, Unfortunately, all these things require years, possibly even decades to master, and I don't know if I have enough time to do anything about my current situation.

Back when I was in High School, I always figured that I would grow out of my awkward phase, that as soon as I went to college I would find hundreds of like-minded people to connect with, to love and be loved. I was an idiot. I'm now coming up on my senior year of college, and despite succeeding in achieving a good GPA I've failed at pretty much everything else I set out to do. I wish that I had picked up a cool skill when I was in middle school, like guitar or a foreign language, then I'd have something to bring to the table when it comes to attracting mates and friends besides boring history facts and stupid jokes. I wish that I had learned how to flirt with girls when I was younger, because right now I have no idea how to approach a girl and no idea what to do if I succeeded in getting a date.

I remember, back in my senior year of high school, one of my teachers told me that there was a girl in my mock trial club that had a crush on me. I even thought that I knew who it was at the time. But now I realize that my teacher was probably just lieing to me, trying to make me feel better about myself.

It is too late for me, I had chance to learn how to live a good life and I squandered the opportunity without even realizing it.

I don't know if this will help you, but I was talking to an ex-boyfriend recently online & I asked him about his love life after me. He told me that he had spotted a girl that he liked around campus - UC Riverside & decided to try to speak to her.

They were both in a school library & he tossed a piece of paper in front of her asking if she'd like to have lunch with him. She was amused with his flirting & agreed to have lunch with him. They got along so well that they got married a year later.

Why don't you try it - you have nothing to lose. Apetlover