I can get pretty angry at things myself. Enraged, even. But I think I've learned a thing or two about it. I don't think I, or you, have a mental health disorder. I think you are just stuck in a feedback loop which produces the results which make you angry. I am willing to bet you have been in that loop for a while, hence the rage. Whatever angers you keeps happening, so it's graduated from a mild annoyance to a major source of aggravation.
It's probably not just one thing either. Like I said on the other thread, I try to minimize the chances I will become enraged by avoiding places and things that I already know will get me mad. I avoid the news, especially anything political or economic since I know it only angers me. On Facebook, I have unliked and otherwise removed myself from almost anything political, and I unsubscribe from or even unfriend people who are too political. In this way, I am taking preventative measures against anything that angers me and switching my focus to things I actually like, things and people which enrich my life. I forget who said it but "what you think about, you are".
Another source of anger I had a lot was the haters I had in my life. I too got mad at people who wronged me in the past and waited for years for my chance to pounce. I hated myself for having no power (in my mind, anyway). But that's nothing though. In our culture (Western, for me) we have this thing where if someone disrespects you, you HAVE to fight back or else your masculinity is in question. The thing about haters is, you always have a choice to accept their version of reality or yours. So don't pick theirs. Simple.
Here's another example. Being limited by money makes me angry. I'm not saying I get mad because I can't buy the brand-new car I want. I'm saying I get mad when I am working for low wages in an un-stimulating environment and can only watch, powerlessly, as I am forced to pay everything I make in bills. That enrages me. Just the thought of it, the thought of me being poor, weak, their victim enrages me. BUT - when I spend all day cursing them, cursing it, I am robbing myself of the time and energy I could spend applying to better jobs and making more money, or getting good at something, or anything else. And since I'm not applying, I'm stuck with no money. Which makes me feel powerless, which makes me feel angry...see where this is going?
I don't think most angry people have mental issues. I think they are stuck in ruts which produce the feedback endlessly and you forget how automatic these cycles can seem, and start to believe "it's just the way it is", "i'm just supposed to be poor/have no friends/no significant other/etc."
Look at how you are and what is producing these results.
You say you want friends. OK. That's a good thing to want. HOWEVER - your words and your actions are in conflict, and actions carry much more weight than words. You're actually doing quite a bit to drive potential friends away, such as:
-anger/rage. In my experience, people don't like this, women especially. no one feels safe or welcome around an angry man, they feel that if they open up they will be vulnerable to a vicious attack.
-hating yourself. if you don't like yourself, you won't carry yourself very well. you won't carry yourself like a good thing that has value and knows it. so other people will turn away.
-pessimism. you are defeating yourself in advance. you're going into everything expecting a loss, so that is where you've set the bar. subconsciously, it is no surprise then when you get it.
-envy, threats of violence, and begging for friends. the envy and threats of violence drive people away, its pretty self explanatory. but the begging - it makes you look weak and people don't like weak. look at how people view those who beg for money - they are disgusted by their weakness. it might not be right but it's the way the world works. don't beg. you have to know you're a good thing.
-location. friends aren't going to just show up in your room.
Forget the past, forget the envy. Other people having friends is not life giving you the finger. It's just part of the scenery. Stop being pessimistic and know you're a good thing. Seek out people who share your interests, for starters.
This isn't a curse from life. Just a process to understand and a problem to solve. It's not random. There's a method to the madness.
Start today....
