We all have them

[Christina Sarah]

Social problems. They're just about as inevitable as death or morning wood.

There's always going to be a time or place where one's attempt to socialize with others goes awry. It's okay. In time, it will pass.

They never said making friends would be easy.

When you've moved around every 1 or 2 years because your parent was in the military, it can get hard to have to lose friends and make new ones. I never really adjusted to that lifestyle. In fact, I figure a lot of kids in that situation had a hard time adjusting. In fourth grade, the majority of the kids in my school were navy brats, and believe you me they were so bitter and hateful. They had their own alliance, and if you weren't in it, you were bullied. I always hated coming into a new school in the middle of the school year. Since I always had a hard time making friends my own age, I would resort to spending time around kids younger than me. They sort of saw me as their role model, and that made me feel special.

Awkward silences. I tried to discuss this with my boyfriend once. Sometimes I have the greatest conversations built up inside of me, but when I'm around people I know, the words just don't come out. I lose them. I am quiet and and uncomfortable. Sometimes, when I'm around strangers I find it easier to talk to them than when I'm around people I see more often. I'm not sure if it's because I feel like I won't ever see that stranger again so it's okay to confide in them, but I can't do that with people I know... Or if I've got some wires mixed up in my brain. I'm not sure. He told me I should write down what I want to say when I think of it so I won't forget it and will be able to bring it into conversation at another time.

I have improved a lot over the years. I can look back on my personal timeline and note my instances of being way too socially awkward to be in public places or at parties I was invited to and agreed to go to... It's really not as bad as I used to be.

I would literally feel so inadequate, so ignored and such a misfit that I could literally sneak away unnoticed and hide somewhere to be by lonesome and could count how long it took for someone to realize I was gone on my hands several times before they found me.

I'm not running away anymore at least. Sometimes I still feel like I should.

One thing is for certain. I tend to like talking online more than in person. I guess because in real life, I always want to edit what I want to say before I say it, and you can't really do that unless you sit/stand awkwardly trying to figure out how to say something in the most efficient way. Online, I can hit backspace several times and reinvent what I wanted to say as many times as I want until I'm happy with it... And luckily I'm not in the same room as the other person so that they can complain about how long it takes for me to respond to them. You have the element of "AFK".

 

[samba101]

Yes I know how it feels to be awkward in life, it's followed me around for years and only since I've gotten to my 30's do I feel comfortable in my skin.

Moving around has to be really hard, in some respects I'd probably blame it on my parents but you can't do that forever. I have had friends but it's not exactly like I've had them in droves like my sister and brother, just recently the pain has gone away from not having them. I've kind of decided that I've been dealt this from life and better get used to it.

 

[Advin]

Awkward silences. still follows me from childhood, I tried a lot to mix with people's but i find my self alone in a corner,I have stooped trying anymore,

 

[windsley]

me too,i can be a very different person when talking online.but when it comes to a real life conversation i had nothing to say especially when talking to a stranger

 

[kinley121]

Christina need not worry much about her problem. A lot of people around the world are suffering from such social problems. I also used to experience the same issue. My father was in the army and he used to be transferred once in two years. I and my mother used to accompany him wherever he went. As a result I never had any long lasting friendships. I think the best way to get rid of Christina’s problem is by overcoming shyness. She should always make a deliberate attempt to talk to new people and try to befriend them.

 

[Christina Sarah]

I think it's purely psychosomatic. Everything about me is. I'm a bit neurotic. A cocktail of problems.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^You may feel that way... but since you're admitting it and willingly saying you have these problems... I sincerely doubt you're that bad.

Besides, who said insanity is a bad thing?

 

[NOAH_FX]

Hey Christina: I moved around ALOT when i was younger as we'll, I think thats part of my social problem as an adult. My life cycle has always been about moving to a new place ever 2-3 years, losing my friends and making new ones.. It's been hard to adjust now that all the people im meeting have had the same friends for years. They know everything about eachother, whereas the closest friend I have i've really only know for 3 years or so.. Not a very long time when you think about it... Now I was going to make a point, im sure of it...

Oh Yes, I think as someone who is usually the outsider looking in.. IE your trying to conversationalize with people who've known each other for so long, it's hard to relate and usually thats what your trying to do. Someone starts a topic, and you'd like to contribute to that topic, and maybe the route it's taking, isn't where your coming from.. However im speaking from MY experience, and may be wrong

Either way, I hope everything gets a little better and im sure it will

 

[Christina Sarah]

Hey Christina: I moved around ALOT when i was younger as we'll, I think thats part of my social problem as an adult. My life cycle has always been about moving to a new place ever 2-3 years, losing my friends and making new ones.. It's been hard to adjust now that all the people im meeting have had the same friends for years. They know everything about eachother, whereas the closest friend I have i've really only know for 3 years or so.. Not a very long time when you think about it... Now I was going to make a point, im sure of it...

Oh Yes, I think as someone who is usually the outsider looking in.. IE your trying to conversationalize with people who've known each other for so long, it's hard to relate and usually thats what your trying to do. Someone starts a topic, and you'd like to contribute to that topic, and maybe the route it's taking, isn't where your coming from.. However im speaking from MY experience, and may be wrong

Either way, I hope everything gets a little better and im sure it will

I know exactly what you mean. I've lived in MS for the longest than any other place EVER. 12 years! I still feel like I don't belong.

Everyone else is rooted, but you're still moving around (so to speak)... So when you meet someone, and then you meet their friends, and their friends... You kind of feel out of place. Also as far as wanting to contribute to a topic... I usually want to, but I don't have anything worth contributing. Simple as that. I feel stupid around intellectuals. I have nothing intelligent to say.

 

[Abbottron]

I too have moved around quite a bit the past few years. But usually what would happen to me is that I would start making friends just as I was about to leave. Makes sense, eh?

But at this point I'm so tired of trying to make friends. Over time, I come to the point where I hate most people that I meet because they all seem like the same cookie cutter people that I tend to run into. I know that is a bad idea to have, but, as time goes by my point just seems to get proven more and more.

But congratulations on making some progress! And even though you prefer to chat online, remember that quick witted, foot in your mouth conversations in are usually not the same online, and can be best enjoyed in person