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Awful. So fething awful. I really want to burst into tears right now and just talk to someone. I don't want to be the weird kid anymore. I don't want to be that guy that kills the mood. I don't want to be that guy who can't have a conversation and I'm sick and fething tired of being and thinking I'm the disposable "use it and discard it," person.

I can't take it anymore. I walk across the street and everywhere I turn, there are so many groups of friends there, taunting me. I help people, but all I get are weird looks. I try joining in conversations, but I don't know what to say, and whatever I say is so boring and dull, people try to leave me as soon as they can. (Or at least that's what I keep thinking)

Sorry. I just had to moan for a bit. Rant over.
 
Mr Seal The Albatros said:
Awful. So fething awful. I really want to burst into tears right now and just talk to someone. I don't want to be the weird kid anymore. I don't want to be that guy that kills the mood. I don't want to be that guy who can't have a conversation and I'm sick and fething tired of being and thinking I'm the disposable "use it and discard it," person.

I can't take it anymore. I walk across the street and everywhere I turn, there are so many groups of friends there, taunting me. I help people, but all I get are weird looks. I try joining in conversations, but I don't know what to say, and whatever I say is so boring and dull, people try to leave me as soon as they can. (Or at least that's what I keep thinking)

Sorry. I just had to moan for a bit. Rant over.

*hugs*
Sorry you feel this way now.....I can totally relate and understand, I am in the same exact shoes.

I believe that you don't know what to say, because deeply you feel they are resenting you.
Are those people from the same group or familiar with each other?

I went to phsycic today. I know it's not most credible source for assurance and help, but she knew some stuff I was amazed.

While looking at my cards, she kept saying that I am not a looser and I have tremendous luck, and everything looks amazing for me, and then she would make a pause and say that something is stopping me and it's myself and she doesn't understand what is wrong with me.

Now, I saw this woman twice before and every time trying tell her about my ex friend and all the loneliness I am dealing with and negativity from people all around me, I felt like a ball of tears was coming to my throat and I would just break apart, so I stopped myself and never really told her much.

This time I felt stronger, even she said my energy was stronger and better, we even laughed together, which never happened before. So after an hour of her puzzling what was stopping me, I started to talk and told her a lot of what I was dealing with for the last 2 years. She pointed on black cards around mine and told me there is a possibility my ex friend done something, she said she was bad mouthing me so much that this is going after me anywhere I go.

She suggested I start thinking about myself only and stop trying to be civilized with evil people who only wish bad for me. She said I need to find things that I was to pursue for myself, for my personal success. She suggested I don't talk to, about or react to anybody who somehow connected to those that wish bad for me, cut all the negative ppl out.

Also she said I need to wear a cross, go to church at least 3 Sundays in a row, take communion, buy scents for my house and carry garlic in my purse or my pocket.
She said once I am cleansed from all the evil my ex friends wished me, the doors will open for new path, new friends and new opportunities, and I can't carry old stuff with me, she said to wipe them all clean.

I will write a list/plan of what I am going to do. I hope it can help you Mr Seal and someone else.

Like the other lady told me "you've been through so much, more than other people in their lifetime, and you are alive. Then appreciate it."
 
Mr Seal The Albatros said:
Awful. So fething awful. I really want to burst into tears right now and just talk to someone. I don't want to be the weird kid anymore. I don't want to be that guy that kills the mood. I don't want to be that guy who can't have a conversation and I'm sick and fething tired of being and thinking I'm the disposable "use it and discard it," person.

I can't take it anymore. I walk across the street and everywhere I turn, there are so many groups of friends there, taunting me. I help people, but all I get are weird looks. I try joining in conversations, but I don't know what to say, and whatever I say is so boring and dull, people try to leave me as soon as they can. (Or at least that's what I keep thinking)

Sorry. I just had to moan for a bit. Rant over.

*hugs* you. A lot of times people can be so mean and cruel, it's why I've been limiting interaction lately because I realise it's hard to find people who can return some sort of decent behaviour. I'm not expecting people to be grateful to me anymore, nor expect them to be a certain way. Sometimes it's still there, but I try not to take it seriously because, that's just how it's turned lately, unfortunately. There are still good people around though, so don't you give up - they are far and few in between, but they ARE there and I believe you will meet some eventually who will appreciate you for you and accept you the way you are and would care about you.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way though. :(
 
If you can sing please pm me for possible future collaborations.

i expect to hear from no one.
 
I am feeling like I must be totally crazy! How could I have lost my Yankee shirt and my blue sweatpants? I just washed and dried them, put them in the basket and walked from there to here. I looked about 10 times. Did anyone on here borrow them?????? If you did would you please give them back within 2 weeks?
 
Like a timebomb...I felt so close to saying something horrible to everyone that approached me today. At least it's better now after the freezing weather turned me cold again.

I truly hope that's just my usual 'homecoming bitterness' growing inside of me.
 
Rodent said:
Like a timebomb...I felt so close to saying something horrible to everyone that approached me today. At least it's better now after the freezing weather turned me cold again.

I truly hope that's just my usual 'homecoming bitterness' growing inside of me.

So I guess I shouldn't ask you if your borrowed my Yankee Shirt and sweatpants. I'll hide. You'll never find me!
Seriously, I hope you feel better soon!
 
WishingWell said:
Rodent said:
Like a timebomb...I felt so close to saying something horrible to everyone that approached me today. At least it's better now after the freezing weather turned me cold again.

I truly hope that's just my usual 'homecoming bitterness' growing inside of me.

So I guess I shouldn't ask you if your borrowed my Yankee Shirt and sweatpants. I'll hide. You'll never find me!
Seriously, I hope you feel better soon!

Thanks for the concern, WishingWell. I'm trying my best.

Good luck with the search. I have a 6 year old Yankee baseball cap which I treasure dearly, so I can understand the sentimental value. I would be freaking furious if it went missing too. :p
 
You hurt my feelings and i can not tell you about it. So thanks for ******* this place up for me.
 
johnny196775Again said:
You hurt my feelings and i can not tell you about it. So thanks for ******* this place up for me.

I hope you are able to come to the conclusion that people that hurt your feelings aren't worth you getting so upset about, and you start to look at things differently. If someone hurts the feelings of someone that always hurts others, they'll get no support from anyone. If you want to PM me and get it off your chest, you can trust that I don't betray people. I don't repeat things that people tell me. That would make me a rotten person, and I want to remain a good friend as I am told.
 
my profile here is blank most all the time. About a month ago i wrote piss off as my location on my profile. I do not think i will do that again. If somebody looks at my profile and it says to piss off that would be counterproductive to why i am even here.
 
johnny196775Again said:
You hurt my feelings and i can not tell you about it. So thanks for ******* this place up for me.

(wary) I sure hope it wasn't me.

*Tries to think of anything offensive I've said*
 
johnny196775Again said:
my profile here is blank most all the time. About a month ago i wrote piss off as my location on my profile. I do not think i will do that again. If somebody looks at my profile and it says to piss off that would be counterproductive to why i am even here.

I really have a great appreciation for our chats, even if they are short sometimes. You are very kind and I have seen you make a lot of progress since you joined. You should be proud of yourself, even on an off day :)

My profile used to have some stuff on it. I had a bad day, and ended up erasing a lot of it. To be honest, I don't think I could write a convincing profile to save my life :D
 
Rodent said:
Like a timebomb...I felt so close to saying something horrible to everyone that approached me today. At least it's better now after the freezing weather turned me cold again.

I truly hope that's just my usual 'homecoming bitterness' growing inside of me.

*hugs* Hope you're feeling better already.

johnny196775Again said:
You hurt my feelings and i can not tell you about it. So thanks for ******* this place up for me.

As what the others have said, don't let one person ruin it all for you. *hugs*
 
Your all sweet. I like to over react. So i think i am just overreacting to nothing. Thanks for your support. :)
 

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